Disposing of an estate

  1. I feel a bit weird about posting at this time, but my mother has a terminal disease and has started giving me things. LOTS of things.

    I don't plan on getting rid of anything until she's gone (who knows? she might recover!) but I'm trying to formulate a plan for turning her things into money, or tax deductions. Even though she'd like me to keep everything forever, there's not enough room in my house or enough tolerance in my husband's heart. (And he *is* a really great guy!)

    Anyway, the first stuff she has given me is jewelry. So far about 4 diamond rings and 11 other gemstone rings. I sincerely hope my son proposes to no more than one girl. Ever! And I'll keep one for that. But what do people do with this stuff? Auction? (most of it isn't that great.) A used jewelry store? eBay? Melt it down? Is barter a possibility?

    I'm a minimalist at heart. Help me!

    PS: Condolences about my mother are understood. Let's just talk about disposing of stuff. Thanks!
  2. I am in the same boat Coconut! I have all of this stuff that was my mom's and have not figured out what to do with any of it. So I am anxious to hear how others have handled this very same matter.

    And you know I am sending you big hugs! And am always here for you!
  3. I would keep it all because you might want it when you're older for something to remind you of your mother but if you really don't want it maybe other family members want it or a jewelry store.

    I hope your mother is doing well- hugssss to you and her!
  4. I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. I would suggest to ask other family members if they are interested in having the pieces that you don't want to keep.
  5. If you like the diamonds, you can go to your jeweler and have them reset it into something that you like - a pendant, earrings or right hand ring.

    If you want to sell the metal for scrap, you won't get much, but I think it might be better if you do a project with your jeweler and then apply the scrap price to your project.
  6. Thanks for the good wishes.

    I wish I had other family members to give things to, but I don't :sad: I am an only child and although I'm close with all of my cousins, they all have houses and jewelry boxes stuffed full of things. I've talked with many of them about what to do and frankly, most are in the same boat with their own parents.

    And jag...so sad about Mr. Boos of Boos Gallery & Auctions (www.boosgallery.com), isn't it? It leaves us with scant choices in Southeastern Michigan.
  7. When my MIL passed away my husband and his brother got everything (we couldn't find the other 4 siblings...very dysfunctional family).
    We did the following (BTW her death was very sudden...middle of the night heart attack at age 56 and no will!):
    Started with her bedroom....we boxed up all of her clothing to give to goodwill.
    All cosmetics if used went into trash and if unopened went to Goodwill or were offered to female friends of the family.
    Jewerly.....she had some very dear pieces. We kept the ones that she loved and wore all the time, the costume pieces went to Goodwill. of the ones that we kept, we gave some to my mother, one to one of the siblings that we found 2 years later, and the rest we kept and had appraised.
    Collectibles: She collected Hummel figurines. We went threough the over 300 pieces she had, and kept the ones we really loved and the ones we knew were her favorite. the rest we sold on ebay.
    House: She was part owner of a home. Her portion of the home was split between the 2 siblings (hubby and brother).
    Pictures: I painstakingly went through every picture and seperated it by sibling (anything with brother X in it went into one pile, etc.) Those are boxed up downstairs should we ever locate the other siblings. Pictures of her we decided to split up also...and some are framed in our home.
    Miscellaneous antiques/furniture: All furniture was either given to Goodwill or sold at garage sales. Antiques were also sold at garage sales and on ebay (still selling them 6 years later!).
    Her car: Sold at garage sale, otherwise would have given to Goodwill.

    it was a horrible process. Hubby & brother didn't have the strength to do it, so it was mostly left to me to do ...and I hated it!

    I don't know what I'll do when it is my parents time....but I think probably the same thing. Keep the stuff that has great memories attached and let someone else enjoy the rest!
  8. Oh, twiggers! That sounds like so much work! I fear that's what I have to look forward to.
  9. If possible, don't rush to get rid of things, I did, including antique furniture, jewelry, etc., which I later wished many many times I would have kept........your tastes will change and jewelry that you may not be crazy about now you may like later or can have re-designed later, so, again if possible, take your time and set aside some things for a later review......
  10. I love you coconut!

    Are we talking a huge home full of her things? My hope for you is that you are not going to be under time constraints. It is a lot of work if you have to move fast and if you have little help. I did all of that when my grandmother died of cancer. It moves along...it seems huge, but it is not that bad.

    I don't think you should worry about it too much now. Enjoy every minute with her. All of the rest is so little if you know what I mean? Spend your time with her...there will be time to do the rest. Trust me!
  11. The website won't take me there:crybaby: I am not that familiar with Boos, but what happened?
  12. Sorry to hear about your mothers, jag and coco-nut! I don't know much about this stuff, but you might just keep the smaller items around as trinkets to give out to other family members (or grandkids someday).
  13. My mother passed in March. So I can relate about reducing the amount of stuff and getting rid of the stuff or crap that doesn't hold as much value.

    In terms of jewelry, the good stuff I'm keeping for the time being. ie the stuff that was decent that she wore, and that i may grow into in a few years when i don't feel as much like a kid.

    I know with the junkier stuff and costume jewelry my grandparents wanted to give to a friend of theres who sells at flea market. The friend helped clean out my mom's apartment in Florida.

    I think there are some things you just have to hold onto until you know exactly what you want.

    My husband didn't get that i don't need certain pieces of crap that weren't good things twenty years ago. ie unmarked video tapes, crappy dishes, platic bowls

    I kept the family pieces that I know meant a lot.
    I also just found out where the good/family silverware wound up.
    ie someone else took it for good keeping for me a few years back.

    Good luck with everything.
  14. I totally agree with you:yes: if you can, and have the place to store things, try and set them aside because it is possible that one's taste will change. As I have gotten older, I have noticed that my taste has change with clothes, jewelry and furniture:smile:
  15. With regards to jewelry, I suggest to keep it. Not only for sentimental reasons, but when you sell your jewelry to a store, the appraised value is definitly going to be lower than its actual value.