Discriminated for being a man

[papertiger]

Oh ok yeah I probably won't complain about her, yeah I will try and report the staff thanks and yeah he was sounding a bit rude and he definitely was being rude when saying if I'm here for my wife, I got these boots (this is me wearing them the day I got them) and they are called the tory burch brooke knee high View attachment 5632388

Well, ha! They are absolutely gorgeous on you, so you proved them all 100% wrong!

Some people are very closed-minded and strange, I would move on and live your best life. My guess is from many of your other posts is that you suffer or have suffered from people thinking think 'this' or 'that'. People can think what they like, but they shouldn't open their mouth, they're probably either jealous of your confidence or have some issues. What difference to them what you wear?

Enjoy the attention, enjoy those glorious boots, men historically wore knee-high (and over-knee) boots before women - and you can tell people so if it ever comes up.

Women suffer a lot with this too. Doing my best mid-70s NY-NY disco look, one market stall-holder sniggered and shouted in the LOUDEST VOICE POSSIBLE to another in Portobello (London) that no one in their right mind would put those shoes (silver heeled-sandals) with a belted leather trench.

DMs and chunky shoes are in now, but years ago I was working at a fashion trade fair (during LFW). My boss, who until then had been a friend (and colleague elsewhere) told me my shoes were unacceptable and tomorrow I either came in heels or not to bother showing-up. He also told me to wear more make-up. I did as asked as it was a work situation, but I never worked with or saw him again (and he still owes me some perspex heels he borrowed for a campaign shoot).

Those are just 2 examples. I get comments, looks, stares and sniggers about what I choose to wear almost everyday (good and bad). The alternative of being the world's most boring person would kill me.

If you felt belittled and discriminated against then please write to TB. Just remember that there may be very sever consequences for that person, even for their future career, so you may want to address it to a company policy and not against just the individual. IMO, this is a company-wide matter and a staff-training issue. Then you will have done every future customer a service (as well as help educate HR/company) rather than let them scape-goat one person. At the end of the day they should not care who they sell what to, so long as they sell.

BTW, I regularly wear men's shoes (in fact my most expensive shoes were adapted from the mens line - there are very few women's bespoke shoemakers).

You do YOU XXX

 

[dude4u]

Those shoes look pretty gender-neutral to me

 

[redwings]

Oh ok yeah I probably won't complain about her, yeah I will try and report the staff thanks and yeah he was sounding a bit rude and he definitely was being rude when saying if I'm here for my wife, I got these boots (this is me wearing them the day I got them) and they are called the tory burch brooke knee high View attachment 5632388

Looks like you are about to go horse riding . Only missing a horse.

 

[millivanilli]

Earlier this week I went to my local tory burch store to see if they had any knee high riding style boots as I really wanted a pair and as soon as I got there a staff member asked if I was here for my wife which they never normally do, when I asked to try on one of the knee high boots in my size, I was told men probably shouldn't wear these and womens shoes on men isn't great (I was also wear black revas at the time) and whilst trying them on had a women who was also shopping for these boots say I'm a disgrace of a man for trying them on.
What should I do about this, should I complain to tory burch about this?

hell YES!

 

[Christofle]

I’m not too surprised as I had a similar experience many years ago at Burberry when I bought these. (circa 2009 or 10).

The SA kept telling me they were for women but they just look like a riding boot to me.

Also when I pick up bags, I nearly always hear the SA say: she will love it. “The mysterious she strikes again”.

 

[Kevinaxx]

I’m appalled that the SA had the gall to speak that way.

Years ago, when I worked retail, a coworker of mine would wear women’s jeans because they fit better. I would buy men’s clothes (and bags) because I like oversized fit sometimes and the classic structure/line of men’s bag/accessories better.

I’m sorry you had that experience. And the boots look great on you!

 

[mzbaglady1]

Oh my goodness. I cannot believe how ignorant some people are. I was just telling a good friend of mine that I purchased these men swim trunks that I plan on wearing as a pair of shorts with a t-shirt or tank top. This IDIOT I have to use capitol letters to emphasize how ridiculous her comment was to me. She said that I should be careful that dressing this way I could be signaling to be hit on my another female because I'm a lesbian. I had to ask this imbecile there's a lot of clothing today that's gender neutral or unisex what type of signal are you sending out now? I had to remind the idiot it's not the clothing that could sometimes gives off a mixed signal. @feminineguy27 I am sorry you experienced such rudeness at that store location. File your complaint as other posters have mentioned. You look fabulous in your new boots. But seriously when I hear such ignorance this is my expression.

 

[fendigal]

Since obviously, I am a huge SATC fan...I will quote Samantha: "If I worried what every b--tch in New York was saying about me, I'd never leave the house."
This is sometimes hard to do, but I think it is a good policy to keep in mind.

 

[TitaniaWilliams]

This thread reminded me of an episode with my brother many years ago...
At the time we used wired headphones, and he always broke them.
One time we went to a store to buy a pair of headphones and he decided to buy the cheapest ones.
The cheapest ones in this particular store were some Hello Kitty pink headphones (in-ear) and the lady didn't want to sell him those headphones because they were for girls!
At the end he got them, but they're just pink headphones and can be used by everyone if he/she likes or needs them!
Binarism is a good marketing strategy... but it doesn't work everytime and it's working less and less...

 

[skyqueen]

Oh ok yeah I probably won't complain about her, yeah I will try and report the staff thanks and yeah he was sounding a bit rude and he definitely was being rude when saying if I'm here for my wife, I got these boots (this is me wearing them the day I got them) and they are called the tory burch brooke knee high View attachment 5632388

Love them...perfect! I wore riding boots for years, same boot for both men and women. HELLO...unisex!
Obviously, someone didn't get the memo...variety is the spice of life!

 

[livethelake]

You know what? Sometimes people offend you, sometimes you offend others. It's called life. Move on and don't
let it consume you.

 

[baglover57]

Always keep in mind that we the customers have the money that many of the SA's may not to spend on the luxury goods they are selling. Some don't have class nor common sense. Whether it is Tory Burch or Hermes you may run into a snooty, ignorant SA. Disregard stupid people's comments, buy what you want and remember to hold your head high always.

 

[feminineguy27]

Hiya today I went to my local mall to go shoe shopping and saw the mall had a new shoe store so I went to have a look and saw an amazing pair of ballet flats and really liked them and went to try them on and as soon as I put the first shoe on a female staff member said I would be better off going to the men's section of the store and taking the ballet flats off, I at first ignored her and continued to try the shoes on until she said I either have to leave or go snd try mens shoes instead. What should I do about this?

 

[A1aGypsy]

Hiya today I went to my local mall to go shoe shopping and saw the mall had a new shoe store so I went to have a look and saw an amazing pair of ballet flats and really liked them and went to try them on and as soon as I put the first shoe on a female staff member said I would be better off going to the men's section of the store and taking the ballet flats off, I at first ignored her and continued to try the shoes on until she said I either have to leave or go snd try mens shoes instead. What should I do about this?

I think you got some great advice the first time this happened to you. I would re-read this thread and decide on your comfort level with respect to a response. Lots of places to buy shoes. I don’t know where you live but I hope there is a place that would treat you kindly. Sorry people are jerks.

 

[Kevinaxx]

Hiya today I went to my local mall to go shoe shopping and saw the mall had a new shoe store so I went to have a look and saw an amazing pair of ballet flats and really liked them and went to try them on and as soon as I put the first shoe on a female staff member said I would be better off going to the men's section of the store and taking the ballet flats off, I at first ignored her and continued to try the shoes on until she said I either have to leave or go snd try mens shoes instead. What should I do about this?

I’m generally non-confrontational until I feel there’s a real sense of injustice and even then, I would use logic at the perpetrator—they usually resort to blubbering like an idiot or maybe even start cussing or personally attacking (if they lack class) or they’d smarten up and shut up.

Replies:
- why would I be better off at the men’s section? Do they have this exact style in men’s?
- there are conversion charts specifically to help either women or men find the other’s equivalent so what is the issue again? Why are you telling me to go elsewhere?
- you’re not in charge, if the manager/owner has this “treatment” as part of your training, then I’d like to confirm myself. Please give me their contact information.


I would take down her name, the date, the time and I would forward it along with my experience to appropriate folks at that store. If there isn’t at least an apology, i’d let folks know what went down and then never go back.

Plenty of places to shop and honestly plenty of designers/brands that would want your $.