Dealing with complete mess. Need good thoughts,vibes,prayers etc

  1. My dearest TPFers,

    I've been missing around here lately cos i'm still sick. but also because i'm dealing with and facing another disaster sucky situation. I can't even write about what's going on but it's not good. Over the past few days, i've been crying half the time.

    I have to make BIG decisions i'm unprepared to make in the next 36 hours. i'm not ready to do what is logically the best move but a move I'm not convinced of. i feel i'm doing it to check the box. yet i don't have really other options. I'm so torn and lost and just about sick with life because the last year has been so crazy hard.

    So I need your good thoughts, good vibes, and good prayers because i've stopped believing in God (lets not go into any religious debate). So those of you who still do, send me good somethings.

    I'm dealing with a party who thinks i'm making up the whole thing about being sick and hence giving me a very hard time about the situation. here i am sick, can't breathe properly and completely exhausted and i'm being made to chase down doctors and get them to write letters. and this other party wants letters NOW. anyone who's worked with doctors knows these letters take some time to be written.

    I've spoken to some good friends over the last 2 days and no one can tell me what to do and after all the talking i still don't know what is the right thing to do and i still don't find comfort when i think about the decision i need to make.

    i may not be making sense so i'm going to stop but i just need all the support and good vibes right now.

    thanks Bubbles
  2. I'm sorry you're going through so much awful stuff and I'll be thinking about you.
  3. thank you zophie. i really need it. *hugs*
  4. OMG, Bubbles so sorry to hear things aren't getting any better, I will be praying for you.:heart: I'll PM you later. HUGS!!
  5. So sorry bubbles that you are having such a rough time. Not knowing the situation, I don't have any words of wisdom, but in general, I live by one mantra...What's for you won't go by you.

    Hope things get better soon.:yes:
  6. I hope you feel better and this person gets off your case! Your situation sounds really terrible :sad:
  7. bubbles... hugs! i am sorry they r so unreasonable. all i can say is: harrass your doc, tell them you are in a lot of trouble otherwise. i have found most docs to be very understanding.

    I can't believe it is so difficult.... i mean they are also people, they should understand. why would you make this up? it is so weird.

    this may not help but it has been this way for myself ever since I can think: nothing good ever came easy - whatever it has been, i had to fight for it like nothing. even now, when my PhD had been all decided there was some difficulty in my way. mastering these makes me feel though no one can take my triumph away. I do'nt trust anything that comes easy - there is always a catch. so maybe the rewards from your hard year may be so many fold. I also keep thinking that ultimately I am in a better situation than many people: i have the chance to fight for something, kwim? I saw my aunt battle through cancer and not once did she ever stop fighting - I gained a lot of strength from that.

    I hope everything gets worked out - don't give up, I know it is hard while you are in it but when you look back I am sure it will be worth it. I learned that just when I thought everything comes along nicely - some major punch in the stomach is right behind that. when you expect it, it isn't that hard anymore. get well - it is the most important thing right now!
  8. Sending you good wishes and speedy recovery.....and peace of mind to see you through the roller coaster...

    Hang in there....we are here for you!!!!!!!! *hugs*
  9. Hugs and prayers for you Bubbles.:heart:
  10. Hugs for you, bubblelicious. I hope you're staying strong. Good luck, you'll get through this.
  11. Hugs bubbles!!!! My thoughts are with you!
  12. I hope everything works out for you, and you have a speedy return to good health !!!!!!!!!
  13. Oh dear....something similar is happening to me now...hang in there.....:heart:
  14. all my thoughts are with you Bubbles, bless you & I wish all good things for you.
  15. my lovely TPFers, thanks so much for all your good wishes.

    i just checked back in and having been crying almost every hour - i could give some small drought stricken country the water they need right now! ;P

    those of you living in the US, you know how medical records are private and personal right? this high level person i'm dealing with wants a full history of my condition and has even called to talk to my doctor. I can refuse but then theyll think i'm really making it up. and so i'm letting my doctor disclose all this info that legally i'm not required to disclose just to prove that i'm really sick. :wtf:

    Lara, thankfully my doc is being a total sweetie and he and his nurses can't believe what's going on!! thanks for sharing your experience. i know i'm in a better position than alot of people but being in the middle of it all makes me unable to actually believe all these rational things i tell myself. i really don't know why they are making things so hard for me. Don't they understand that things happen and ppl fall sick at bad times?? shouldn't they try to work with you on it rather than tell you things like "i'm suspicious that you got sick at this time..." and then make u run around getting medical letters. They're treating me like i committed a crime and i'm asking for them to excuse me for shoplifting from LV!!

    High maintenance,
    I'm hope they're treating you better than these guys are treating me. hang in there and hugs to you too!