Dealing with an imitator...single white female type...

KrissieNO.5

Member
Dec 16, 2010
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NYC
I figured a lot of fabulous ladies on here could relate to this thread so here goes...

Have you ever had another woman imitate you to the point where it becomes unflattering and actually annoying, insulting and borderline psychotic?

I have this one girl (I don't dare to call her a woman because of the lack of maturity) that has been imitating me since 2006!! At first I thought it was a passing thing but she has always been pretty blatant about it. Years ago I did some modeling and had a pretty strong Internet following and she used to email me telling me how great I was etc. I thought it was sweet albeit a tad weird being that I knew her from around. Then she began to imitate my photo shoots and started to do her hair like mine, then style and on and on.

Chance would have it that she got a job doing makeup at the same cosmetics brand as me and was very clingy. It was also weird when people would comment on how we had the same haircut. I quit because I finished college and was going on to my career.

this continued on for years...if I posted a picture on Facebook she was the first to like and comment (I was always nice to her btw) and shortly after came the imitation. She even began to copy my mannerisms. The final straw was when I started a blog of my writing and she copied my style of writing and actually was stealing themes from my stories. I decided it was time to block her from all social networking sites. I was beginning to become not only freaked out but extremely annoyed.

Blocking her didnt stop her. It only became worse, not only was she copying everything I did (even going as far as buying a really bad birkin copy that looks like it it has pimples...it supposed to be ostrich, it doesn't have a heat stamp and it's a bad copy just like her and lying that it cost her 100k) but she was copying my tweets. Even the most trivial things like I'm a vegetarian she's a vegetarian, I do yoga she does yoga, I took my dog for a walk, she did the same (you get the point) nail color, lip color, hair color all copied.it eventually came to the point where people are telling me she is straight up ripping me off. People have called her out and she will just say yeah okay she wishes she was me blah blah. I had to say something to her and she went off on me "you are acting crazy, you are just jealous bc I am so beautiful etc"

There is so much more to the story but I won't get into every detail I am just giving you ladies the gist...

I figured it's better to just let it go and suffer silently because saying anything to her only fuels the fire. In a way I feel sorry for her because this is clearly not normal or acceptable behavior and I do believe she needs help. Is it odd though that it depresses me. I am actually afraid to let my personality shine through for fear that it will replicated. I can never post anything I like (books, designers, clothes etc.) or like to do because she will be right there saying the same thing. I dont like to post about my job ( I work for a very prominent designer) because she will actually pretend like she works in fashion. She hasn't only tried to steal my style but also my personality. My fiancé tells me to ignore her and I do but we have mutual friends and it's pretty hard to do so. She is a life plagarizer and a thief. If you have ever seen the movie single white female this is a similar scenario, minus the murderous tendencies ( lets hope lol)

I just need some input, advice, similar stories etc. because I don't know what to do anymore besides delete my whole Internet existence (which isn't fair and I need for my job) but that's the only answer. It isn't fair.

:wacko::tdown:

ETA: sometimes I will purposely put that I LOVE something just to see if she will start wearing it or liking it and like clock work she does.
 
Last edited:

redney

Lovin' Life!
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Apr 21, 2006
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Isn't it odd when people do this? Thing is, you can't change other people, you can only change your reaction to them. I agree with your fiance to ignore her. If her blatant copying is so obvious to you, it's obvious to everyone who knows you two, KWIM? As hard as it sounds, don't let her get under your skin. Sooner or later, she'll find someone new to latch onto and will drop you like a hot potato.

You're not alone. There have been a number of threads like this. Here are a few if you want to read about others' situations and the advice given to them.

http://forum.purseblog.com/relation...e-friend-who-copies-me-how-handle-684984.html

http://forum.purseblog.com/relation...sister-copies-everything-about-me-592740.html

Good luck!
 

Hatfield1313

Member
Jan 17, 2013
1,646
2,320
California
Wow, imitating someone is one thing but she's going above and beyond, it's quite scary!

I had a friend that did this from when I was about 19-23. Not to the extent this girl is, but close enough. The thing is everything I liked about her as a friend was then ruined because she was trying to be something she wasn't. She started becoming friends with my friends and then monopolizing the friendships. The final straw was when I saw her making out with a close guy friend of mine whom she knew I liked (and she ended up liking too *shocker*). I haven't spoken to her since. The only thing I could do was cut her off and ignore her. I deleted and blocked her from facebook (she remained blocked up until a year or so ago when I figured I could trust that she discovered herself and wouldn't try to find me). She had another mutual friend try to intervene and say I was being a horrible person and immature, blah blah blah and that in turn ruined my friendship with that guy. It was ridiculous. You just have to cut toxic people like that out of your life completely, ignore anything they try and continue doing, and move on. Whatever friends/coworkers/acquaintances that come out of it WITH you and not against you, they know who you really are and what she is not.

Did any of that make sense? I'm so tired I don't even know...
 

KrissieNO.5

Member
Dec 16, 2010
2,207
13
NYC
Ignore her. Plain and simple.

And try not to even think about it.
I have tried this option with no luck. I guess I have to stop looking at her stuff when someone retweets her or when a friend tells me too look bc she's copying. It will be hard.


Isn't it odd when people do this? Thing is, you can't change other people, you can only change your reaction to them. I agree with your fiance to ignore her. If her blatant copying is so obvious to you, it's obvious to everyone who knows you two, KWIM? As hard as it sounds, don't let her get under your skin. Sooner or later, she'll find someone new to latch onto and will drop you like a hot potato.

You're not alone. There have been a number of threads like this. Here are a few if you want to read about others' situations and the advice given to them.

http://forum.purseblog.com/relation...e-friend-who-copies-me-how-handle-684984.html

http://forum.purseblog.com/relation...sister-copies-everything-about-me-592740.html

Good luck!
Thank you so much!! I have been taking the high road for a long time and hoping she will find someone else. Every now and then she changes her personality and will be like a pinup or a model or a singer but she always comes back to copying me. Thanks for the links! Such similar scenarios. It's so weird.


Wow, imitating someone is one thing but she's going above and beyond, it's quite scary!

I had a friend that did this from when I was about 19-23. Not to the extent this girl is, but close enough. The thing is everything I liked about her as a friend was then ruined because she was trying to be something she wasn't. She started becoming friends with my friends and then monopolizing the friendships. The final straw was when I saw her making out with a close guy friend of mine whom she knew I liked (and she ended up liking too *shocker*). I haven't spoken to her since. The only thing I could do was cut her off and ignore her. I deleted and blocked her from facebook (she remained blocked up until a year or so ago when I figured I could trust that she discovered herself and wouldn't try to find me). She had another mutual friend try to intervene and say I was being a horrible person and immature, blah blah blah and that in turn ruined my friendship with that guy. It was ridiculous. You just have to cut toxic people like that out of your life completely, ignore anything they try and continue doing, and move on. Whatever friends/coworkers/acquaintances that come out of it WITH you and not against you, they know who you really are and what she is not.

Did any of that make sense? I'm so tired I don't even know...
Made perfect sense. You said she got another friend to intervene and make you out to be immature etc. she has done that to me. So irritating. It's so hard to ignore. It's like I know I shouldn't look at her stuff but I can't help it because I know what's waiting for me as soon as I click and see.
 

Hatfield1313

Member
Jan 17, 2013
1,646
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California
Made perfect sense. You said she got another friend to intervene and make you out to be immature etc. she has done that to me. So irritating. It's so hard to ignore. It's like I know I shouldn't look at her stuff but I can't help it because I know what's waiting for me as soon as I click and see.
Yup.. It's SOOOOO hard but you have to remember that this is HER problem with HER insecurities that she's not happy with herself and has to be someone else. Stop looking at her stuff! I know, so much easier said than done. That's why I block people, that way even if I search them they don't show up and looking doesn't become an option. Takes a lot of willpower though.

Of course you could always get even and throw her off. Be like "Oh, I TOTTALLLY love *insert so and so hideous designer of your choosing*" and watch her take off on that. But that's mean and I'm a get even type lol.
 

KrissieNO.5

Member
Dec 16, 2010
2,207
13
NYC
Yup.. It's SOOOOO hard but you have to remember that this is HER problem with HER insecurities that she's not happy with herself and has to be someone else. Stop looking at her stuff! I know, so much easier said than done. That's why I block people, that way even if I search them they don't show up and looking doesn't become an option. Takes a lot of willpower though.

Of course you could always get even and throw her off. Be like "Oh, I TOTTALLLY love *insert so and so hideous designer of your choosing*" and watch her take off on that. But that's mean and I'm a get even type lol.
I did block her but she still comes up if someone retweets her and I click I can see her whole twitter, even in the search option. It's weird. I have done that before on numerous occasions and had a laugh.

I bought a pair of Dita sunglasses and posted them on my blog and a few days later she has a pair of cheap sunglasses and is all like "hey guys look at my Dita Von teese sunglasses" I laughed so hard because the two have ZERO to do with one another. She basically bought any Pair of glasses and lied, completely. Hilarious. I also tweet and blog about very obscure designers and she will be like "oh my gawwwwdddd, I love (insert obscure designer here)" it's so funny the way she speaks too like someone from the jersey shore, it's so plain to see that she is not educated and not worldly. Definitely not well spoken or well bred, unlike myself.
 

Charles

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Jan 5, 2007
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I have tried this option with no luck. I guess I have to stop looking at her stuff when someone retweets her or when a friend tells me too look bc she's copying. It will be hard.
Exactly. Tell you friends to stop showing her stuff to you, and/or you stop looking at it. When you think about it, you're the only one who controls how people affect you. Don't let her get under your skin and I promise, a few months from now you won't even care.
 

KrissieNO.5

Member
Dec 16, 2010
2,207
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NYC
Exactly. Tell you friends to stop showing her stuff to you, and/or you stop looking at it. When you think about it, you're the only one who controls how people affect you. Don't let her get under your skin and I promise, a few months from now you won't even care.
I am going to try...I am going to stop looking regardless of the situation.
 

pmburk

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Just my opinion, but it sounds like a good reason to stop posting on Facebook & Twitter for her to copy.
 

KrissieNO.5

Member
Dec 16, 2010
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NYC
Just my opinion, but it sounds like a good reason to stop posting on Facebook & Twitter for her to copy.
That's exactly what I feel like doing. It's come to a point where I have to give up social networking bc she is so out of control.
 

pmburk

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Jul 10, 2008
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That's exactly what I feel like doing. It's come to a point where I have to give up social networking bc she is so out of control.
Is there any way to somehow block her on those sites, or make your stuff "private" so only certain people can view it? I avoid social media so I honestly don't know.
 

KrissieNO.5

Member
Dec 16, 2010
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Is there any way to somehow block her on those sites, or make your stuff "private" so only certain people can view it? I avoid social media so I honestly don't know.
I have blocked her on every social network...I even deleted Facebook. She must make fake accounts to see what I am up to bc she sees everything. It's very bizarre. it's everyday even multiple times a day that she copies me. It's exhausting me and depressing me as odd as that sounds.
 

Andrew0220

Member
Feb 14, 2013
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Phoenix, AZ
Hang in there,
There are only a few reasons why people do this. And the main one is that she is jealous of something you have or what you look like. I would tell you to take it as a grain of sand.
You may want to bring it up with her calmly,and with no attitude. Because you have to let her know somehow that this is not appropriate behavior.
And if that doesn't work you could always get a restraining order on her if you wanted to be evil.
 

KrissieNO.5

Member
Dec 16, 2010
2,207
13
NYC
Hang in there,
There are only a few reasons why people do this. And the main one is that she is jealous of something you have or what you look like. I would tell you to take it as a grain of sand.
You may want to bring it up with her calmly,and with no attitude. Because you have to let her know somehow that this is not appropriate behavior.
And if that doesn't work you could always get a restraining order on her if you wanted to be evil.
I cannot understand why anyone could be jealous of another, I am just not like that. I applaud other women for their style, accomplishments, beauty etc. but she does come across as a very vile and jealous person. Honestly, she has an air of cockiness (for things she didn't achieve nonetheless) but I think it's a defense mechanism. I think she knows she is an uncreative, copycat. I have tried to approach her but she gets all crazy and a restraining order sounds like a good idea but I don't even want to give her satisfaction. For the most part I ignore her. I never allude to the fact that she is getting to me in hopes that she will think she has lost my attention and move on.