Dating work colleagues

kimmy

kimmy

@LV Princess@
O.G.
Dec 10, 2005
1,935
8
#1
OMG I have started my new job and I and blown away by this guy 'Charlie' I work with - he is good-looking , really really funny, messes around with me all day , we just flirt all day - throug emails, over the phone, when we aree in each others company -- it just fun - and I have made it obvious how much I like him BUT OMG I have a BF :sad: who I have been with for years . I feel really bad and love him but I cant get this new guy out my head. But I don't want to end things with my BF right now either -- he has just moved to where I live and we are just comfortable... but it not the same feelings as I get with Charlie:wacko:This is the first job I have been at ever .. I have just finished uni ... and Charlie is just the sort of guy I want ...

But also what happens withthe fact we work together .... He has been at the job for 5 years he is 23 and I have only been their for 5 weeks. - is it bad news to date an employee... oh my life is such a mess :shame:

Opinions..
 
#2
You know.. I think you should hold off a little bit before you do ANYTHING. Sometimes we get obsessed with things when we get into a new environment and imagine things that aren't really there. This could turn into a potential mess :-X If you really care about this job and it's important to you, I think you should take it REAL easy and not do something you might regret later..

About the BF, you need to figure out if you want to be with him or not.. IMO you should do that before doing anything with "Charlie" or anyone else.

Whatever happens, we're here for you :love:
 
#3
Swedie said:
You know.. I think you should hold off a little bit before you do ANYTHING. Sometimes we get obsessed with things hen we get into a new environment and imagine things that aren't really there. This could turn into a potential mess :-X If you really care about this job and it's important to you, I think you should take it REAL easy and not do something you might regret later..

About the BF, you need to figure out if you want to be with him or not.. IMO you should do that before doing anything with "Charlie" or anyone else.

Whatever happens, we're here for you :love:
Click to expand...

i agree with Swedie

everything works out, but just wait for a bit! :amuse:
 
#4
^^I agree. Don't string the BF along. If you have feelings for someone else, then maybe it's time to end the relationship. I know it feels safe - but in my own personal experience, it's not healthy down the road. That's the first thing I would do.
 
#5
Swedie said:
You know.. I think you should hold off a little bit before you do ANYTHING. Sometimes we get obsessed with things hen we get into a new environment and imagine things that aren't really there. This could turn into a potential mess :-X If you really care about this job and it's important to you, I think you should take it REAL easy and not do something you might regret later..

About the BF, you need to figure out if you want to be with him or not.. IMO you should do that before doing anything with "Charlie" or anyone else.

Whatever happens, we're here for you :love:
Click to expand...

Thankyou -
Thats it you see, Charlie has just come out of a long-term realtionship 5 years with his x gf - who he broke up with in Sept. He knows I have a bf ... so is playing it cool --- and I dont want to turn around it stick it out there and him not feel the same etc ... because it would cause a bad atmosphere .... but I can't stop thinking about him --- he gives me butterfly's -- he is a real jack the lad character..
 
#6
addicted said:
^^I agree. Don't string the BF along. If you have feelings for someone else, then maybe it's time to end the relationship. I know it feels safe - but in my own personal experience, it's not healthy down the road. That's the first thing I would do.
Click to expand...

We have been together for six years , I would not know how to end it if I tried -- he has moved away from everything he knows to be with me ... he moved jobs, and area just before xmas...
 
#7
Also what happens if this 'thing with Charlie ends up as being nothing :sad: iI would have lost my BF who I dearly care about and do love
 
#8
Swedie said:
You know.. I think you should hold off a little bit before you do ANYTHING. Sometimes we get obsessed with things hen we get into a new environment and imagine things that aren't really there. This could turn into a potential mess :-X If you really care about this job and it's important to you, I think you should take it REAL easy and not do something you might regret later..

About the BF, you need to figure out if you want to be with him or not.. IMO you should do that before doing anything with "Charlie" or anyone else.

Whatever happens, we're here for you :love:
Click to expand...

Well said :biggrin: I would wait, since you are new and like Swedie said, it's a new environment, you have to settle in and see how things go before making any rash decisions.

I met my boyfriend at work, but we were co-workers for 6 months before we started dating.

Wait and see how things develop, and see how things go with your boyfriend, especially since he just moved closer to you.
 
#10
Ouch, that's a tough situation.. Do you think that because everything feels so SAFE, and he is so THERE, you don't see it as a challenge anymore.. The excitement is gone, so you're looking for it elsewhere.

I've had crushes before when I've been in long term relationships. I got all the butterflies and I was soooo obsessed, but I didn't act on it. A while later, the butterflies were GONE and I thanked my lucky star I didn't act on it. In fact I was wondering what the heck I had been thinking.. Sometimes I think we just really love the idea of a crush, and to feel appreciated. That said, who knows!?!? Maybe Charlie really is the one, it's impossible for anyone of us to know :P

The only advice I can give you is to GO SLOW! And try to picture what everyday life with Charley would be like.. what it would be like if it didn't work out, etc. What if he's an emotional mess after just coming out of a long term relationship?..
 
#11
Swedie said:
Ouch, that's a tough situation.. Do you think that because everything feels so SAFE, and he is so THERE, you don't see it as a challenge anymore.. The excitement is gone, so you're looking for it elsewhere.

I've had crushes before when I've been in long term relationships. I got all the butterflies and I was soooo obsessed, but I didn't act on it. A while later, the butterflies were GONE and I thanked my lucky star I didn't act on it. In fact I was wondering what the heck I had been thinking.. Sometimes I think we just really love the idea of a crush, and to feel appreciated. That said, who knows!?!? Maybe Charlie really is the one, it's impossible for anyone of us to know :P

The only advice I can give you is to GO SLOW! And try to picture what everyday life with Charley would be like.. what it would be like if it didn't work out, etc. What if he's an emotional mess after just coming out of a long term relationship?..
Click to expand...

ditto

It probably the feeling of something new , thats got u :love: for charlie....I wouldnt just act on this right now....You and your BF should have a talk . To see where things are between you two b4 you doing anything else
 
#12
I wouldn't start a relationship with someone at work because when you breakup it's very awkward. Especially if your in the same dept. Also, he could make it difficult for you to advance if he tells anything intimate to management.

Be careful what you say in emails. The email admins can read all your emails without your knowledge.
 
#13
I agree that you should wait a bit before doing anything major. So true about the emails as well, they never truly go away. And if you're going to leave your BF leave him for yourself not for someone else ;)
 
#14
BagLovingMom said:
I agree that you should wait a bit before doing anything major. So true about the emails as well, they never truly go away. And if you're going to leave your BF leave him for yourself not for someone else ;)
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I argee with BagLovingMom and the other posters. Don't do anything rash. It could just be a "crush" because he is someone new, but not necessarily something that could be sustainable. I think workplace relationships are very tricky - if it doesn't work out, you'd need to be able to work with them EVERYDAY.

I can sympathize with your situation - everyone in my office is near the same age (mid to late 20s) and almost everyone is single and very passionate about what we do. What I am trying to say is that I wouldn't be surprised if people were interested in each other at my workplace since most of us have similar interests and beliefs, and thankfully, we ALL get along well. I think if people were dating each other in my office, it could potentially upset the balance/environment that we have. I dunno....just my two cents.
 
#15
that's really hard...from my experience, tho...i wouldn't advise getting involved with someone at work. my bf and i broke up in august...in october there was this resident at work who was interested in me and everyone was trying to set us up. so i said why not and we went out a few times. then i went to the philippines in december and when i came back, my boyfriend and i got back together. i kinda blew the resident off. now i see him almost every day i'm working because he comes to our floor a lot. i feel like i have to run and hide when i see him coz i feel so awkward and he's still trying to ask me out (even though i told him my bf and i got back together). it's just a weird situation. i wish i had never gone out w/ him.
 
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