Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders: Making The Team

  1. I am not a regular viewer of the Country Music Channel, in fact, I don't think I even knew of its existence until this afternoon, when I accidentally stumbled upon what I believe is the most mournful reality show I have seen, and I have seen what I, at least, consider a respectable number of them.

    The show is called Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders Making The Team, or something similar. The genre is your basic dozens of poor hamsters all competing for a coveted and small number of places at the prize table, the prize in this case being a slot in the roster of Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders, which I would assume comes with some sort of honorarium in the form of a regular paycheck.

    The girls are led by two hollow-cheeked, unsmiling Belles who faded before they bloomed. Anyone who has ever spent any time, especially high school, in the US Deep South will recognize these peculiar creatures. American Gothic in crinoline. Or in these modern times, spandex.

    They gaze out upon a simple world with earnest, vacant eyes. Humorless and righteous of mien, as the hamsters pace through their antics, they intone stern orders to smile. Apparently smiling is considered an important cheerleading activity, though inappropriate in all other situations. For cheerleaders, even former cheerleaders, they are incongruously unperky. Even anti-perky.

    Several of the waif-thin girls are reprimanded for not being skeletal enough for the uniform, described by the Belles as "unforgiving." It consists of a tie-bosom top and a pair of hip-hugger shorts.

    More than one poor hamster is sent home for being insufficiently emaciated, and those who escape with a warning vow to work harder, to rise at 4:30 to participate in boot camp and eliminate all body fat.

    One girl is called out especially, not for curve possession, but for lack of graciousness, after she declined to participate in a line dance or get in the pool with the other girls when they were all out for an ostensible night off. There are no nights off for Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders, however, and this particular girl had apparently also been ungracious enough to mention that she was uncomfortable in the heat.

    One of the Faded Belles instructs her to read a book about Jackie O and report back with two things she will have learned from the book, specifically two things she never knew about social graces, because the Faded Belle does not believe that were this poor hamster to be given a uniform tonight, that she could be trusted to be honorable.

    I found myself hoping that she does not come back and say she learned anything about smiling. While it may be a basic element of cheerleading dances, it is clearly not among the social graces recognized by the Faded Belles. They might even consider the practice, when not dancing, to be dishonorable.

    Five or six episodes into this bleak little show, and no exaggeration - not one smile from either Faded Belle.

    The girl, Meagan, is shown in a poignant video diary, sadly recounting how she has been accused of two incidents of ungratefulness, and earnestly insisting that she is indeed very grateful for everything anyone has ever done for her.

    Indeed, all the hamsters seem grateful for this magnificent opportunity, to be upbraided and picked apart by the Faded Belles, eager to don the holy habit of the Dallas Cowboy cheerleader.

    A torn extensor cuff, explains one of the Belles, can be worked around. These girls need to have motivation.

    The camera follows one victim of this particular injury into the hospital for an MRI. She is told to "be light" with it. It is with great relief that she informs the Belles of the verdict, before returning to the dance floor to perform her splits and high kicks.

    Meagan, the allegedly ungracious, having dutifully read, probably one word at a time, stumbles through her impression of a third grade book report, graciously comparing one of the Faded Belles to Jackie.

    As she fumbles awkwardly with names of author and subject, I see the blonder Belle look over at her companion, and for the first time, we see her smile. It is that same smile that they will have exchanged in a high school classroom, when some unfortunate pupil, red-faced and mortified, was obliged to stand before the class and mumble some words about a book they read, one word at a time. This Faded Belle's version of the smile is about 80% gum, and I find myself wondering why she has not had this surgically corrected, at the same time I wonder if this is why she has chosen a profession in which smiling, even with the eyes, is apparently taboo.

    The Belle stares dolefully into the camera with her vacant eyes and explains that Meagan needs polish in many areas, including her verbal skills, however there is no indication that the Belles are ever aware that Meagan believes herself to be accused of being ungrateful.

    By pure coincidence, Meagan happens to be among the handful of girls blessed with that classic beauty that will not fade, even unto birthdays of three digits.

    The new boots arrive from Capezio! This news draws a whisper of something like pleasure even from the mournful Belles.

    One girl cannot get hers on, so she removes her socks and wears them on her bare feet. They are snug, she says, but they are on, and off she goes to dance in them.

    Who among these wearers of new white Capezio boots, the Belles ask, is Game-Ready? This is the Big Time. The fans expect to see the Sexy Walk.

    They confer, what shall we do with them? It is decided that the girls will be permitted to have a little water while the Belles discuss what they call The Strugglers.

    The less blond of the Belles calls in Candice, a graceful dancer with a background in classical ballet. Resting a longish bosom on her clipboard, the Belle informs Candice that she needs more power. Candice is dismissed. Better on a small stage, conclude the Belles, and summon the rest of the girls to assemble on the dance floor, where they are informed that upon them all is now bestowed the coveted mantle of Dalls Cowboy cheerleader.

    The poor hamsters weep with joy, and then it's off to a Retreat. The purpose of the Retreat, the Belles tell us, is for Bonding.

    At the Bonding Retreat, the girls listen to speeches made by former Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders and have their butts sketched by an artist.

    These activities, described by the hamsters as awesome and emotional, are followed by a different kind of bonding as the girls are packed off to the dentist, followed by spray tans, so that they will be Game-Ready.

    In every scene now, the girls look a little more alike. Finally, the Big Day arrives, and individual differences in appearance now minimized to the satisfaction of the Belles, a now homogenous-looking gaggle of hamsters Sexy Walks out onto the field.

    And the crowd roars.

    Note: I believe there is a sequel, Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders 2 or some such, that is on now. Guess it is Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader marathon day over at the country channel...
  2. Oh, I actually kinda like this show. But as a cheerleader, I'm biased. Those girls go through hell and they work hard. I feel sorry for them at times. And the judging is even tougher. You have to have some pretty thick skin.
  3. HAHA I got sucked into a marathon of this show one day along with the Coyote Ugly show. I love it! I love how they pull a girl out of the room and are like ummm you gotta go. I also like how it shows that the Vets do not have a secure spot as well. Honestly... The Dallas girls have lost their lustre havent they? They used to be the hottest in the league and now theyre kind of um not that great.
  4. I found myself feeling extremely sorry for them. I think this may be because unlike other reality show poor hamsters, whose dreams and goals may be just as sincere, as is often noted right here, elimination, for many, will do them more good than "winning."

    In the case of this show, however, the girls' goal is very singular: They wish to be a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader. And while there may be many roads to a career as a model, singer, actress, etc, there is only one team of Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders, and if they are not chosen for it, then that dream is deferred.

    It is not a dream that I can pretend to relate to or understand, in fact, the more of this show I watched, the more I had that feeling of watching something on the Discovery channel about some tribe whose way of life, indeed of thought, is so far from my own that I am left with no cultural hook on which to hang it, and I will therefore loudly disclaim that my comments are not intended to be culturally insensitive, though I confess being considerably culturally bewildered.

    Another reason I felt so much sympathy for these girls I think has to do with the fact that the Belles (who did, to give credit where it is due, seem to be making a concerted effort, in the second season, to adopt more pleasant facial expressions, including smiles, and even attempting the odd social grace here and there) keep issuing these bids for my sympathy, how hard it is for them to have to break these girls hearts, while the girls ask for nothing save the opportunity to go out and dance on a football field.

    Maybe I would make more of an attempt at empathy with the Belles if they did not make it so plain that no matter how well a girl dances, if she does not conform to their standard of beauty and thinness, she simply does not stand a chance.

    So I am more likely to feel for them or anyone else having to tell someone, in those first open auditions, someone who sincerely does not realize that her innate dancing ability is near my own, for example, that her talents lie decidedly elsewhere.
    The sad irony, from my perspective, is that they could be. In the early stages, we see so much diversity of style, of looks, personality, but that is all erased to produce the dancer equivalent of processed cheese slices, and after one season on the field, they learn to speak of "the organization" and all have the same smile, kind of like CNN anchors (remember that rumor of the Secret CNN Tooth Template?)

    My favorite scene from the second season was when the girls are given a break from their military training to attend a class in eating with knives and forks.

    They did this in American Princess, too. Apparently there are those who feel that Americans are unfamiliar with eating utensils. I had not really noticed a problem...
  5. Oh Gosh,..... I got sucked in to watching this one day too. Being born and raised in Dallas, I always kinda wanted to try out. I never did though. Although I've known a few of them from school.
  6. A little OT, or maybe a lot, but.....

    What was the name of that adorable Dallas Cheerleader who died in a car accident, on the Katy Freeway in Houston?

    She was on Mtv's Road Rules, several years back.....Anyone remember?
  7. ^^^I concur^^^^^^^:yes: Haven't seen this show. Now you have my curiousity.
  8. So, do they get paid or what? I know they receive tons of press and are world famous, but show me the $$$ for all that crying and carrying on. They did perform at the Pep Rally Nordstrom had for us before we opened at Northpark Center, though.

    Shimma, you are RIGHT ON about the 2 hags who tear them down. They remind me of Linda Evans and Joan Collins from Dynasty.

  9. To the best of my knowledge they get paid just hourly for games... and it's not much! The real money they make is in the endorsements. You'll notice most of them are students, dance teachers, mom's and housewives just doing it for fun and the celebrity status. The girls that I knew on the squad still lived with their parents at the time and were in college. One of them also taught at small dance studio in Dallas.
  10. This show is one of my guilty pleasures.
  11. I like this show, I've watched both seasons!
  12. I guess I'm a little biased to b/c I was a cheerleader. Those ladies work hella hard and don't get paid too much for it. (My aunts friend was a DC cheerleader for 2 yrs).

    I loved the show. It seemed like the judges were hard on the girls but that even happens in NCAA tryouts. Trust me, it it not easy, so it any of these girls on this show have ever tried out for college cheerleading, they know first hand how hard the tryouts can be.
  13. I also want to add that another reason these girls go through all that **** is because being a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader is still considered quite prestigious. It's hard to become one, only a select few do become one, and for some the title is worth it. I kind of compare it to being a Playmate, once you're a DCC you're sort of always one.. I guess it becomes a little part of you. Now, this is just all assumption so don't quote me on this. I don't have any aspiration to become a DCC whatsoever :lol:
  14. That's true. It's a TITLE. But, I can't name one of them. I don't even remember their faces after the last show. I do know that the girl who played 'Toni' on Girlfriends was one, though.