Crazy Bride's Maid!!!!!

#46
katheryn said:
While you make some good points, wordbox, most people would never equate a short haircut with a tatoo necklace and a chest piercing. I wouldn't mind a bride's maid with short hair, but I would not like tatoos and piercings in my photos. I see nothing wrong with asking her to use a shawl or cover them with makeup for the photos. My sister had a bride's maid with tatoos, and they just posed her so that the tatoos were facing away from the camera. She didn't mind at all.
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I don't think it's all that different, given the context of why it would upset the bride. Sure, it's just hair, but it's also just skin and jewelry. My sister was ready to try to control the the way I looked to fit her image of a bridesmaid.

It would have hurt me if she had tried to prevent me from getting my tattoo as well. I had a tattoo that showed in my dress, and while I would have been a little annoyed to cover it, I would have done it if she asked me to. But to face a certain way during pictures to hide me would have made me pretty sad.

To each their own, I suppose. Everyone has different ideas of what their wedding should be and what standards they will hold their wedding party to.
 
#48
I don't know as someone who is married, I think the world doesn't revolve around you even on your day. You chose that person because you want her (tatoos and all) to be a part of your special day. But I don't think you should over extend your reach.
 
#49
^^^ well, she didn't have all of that stuff when I asked her, but I dunno. I guess I would rather keep contact with her than make a big deal out if it.

I am really sorry if I offended anyone with this thread.
 
#50
Don't be sorry! I/some might argue with what you said, but it's still a good topic to discuss. It's something many people will have to deal with, and it's important to see all the sides to it. Don't feel bad for bringing it up.
 
#52
I suppose everyone is different, but if a bride told me not to cut my hair I would be upset. If she asked me to cover a tatoo or remove a piercing, I would understand. I don't think you are coming across as superficial or offensive, but rather concerned. It seems like you are trying to avoid hurting your cousin's feelings, which is very nice of you. You shouldn't feel bad.
 
#55
Bah. Nobody should be offended by your comments. I don't blame you for being surprised/annoyed that she did it so close to your wedding day. If she had had these for years, there would have been no surprises and you wouldn't think twice about it. I think it's therapeutic to talk things over with people who have no personal relationship to you; you get so many varied opinions and can make a much more informed decision.

I hope you have a lovely wedding. :flowers:
 
#56
I can understand why you're upset, but I don't think that this is really THAT big of a deal.

You can ask her nicely to put some makeup over her tattoo so that it won't be as noticeable or look funny, but as for the piercing, there's not much you can really do about it.

What's more important? Her looking perfect on your wedding day, or you having a nice wedding and not having to fight with family members?
 
#59
I don't think your cousin's piercings and tattoo's are that big of a deal. When you asked her to be in your wedding, did you ask her based on her appearance, or because she's special to you and you want her by your side? What she chooses to do with her body is her choice, she shouldn't have waited until after your wedding to do it, and your family shouldn't be mad either. While your wedding is the center of your life right now, you've also got to realize it isn't the center of hers.
I'm getting married in 3 months, and my girls are wearing the same dresses, but they are having their hair styled whichever way they want. I also let them choose their own shoes. I would rather have their own individual style come out, instead of having them be little Stepford-type clones of each other. That makes for boring pictures! I want them to be represented in my photo album the way they are, not the way I want them to be.
It will not ruin your wedding. I'm sure it will be the very last thing that you will be thinking of on that day. The focus will be on you, your the bride! Don't worry!:smile:
 
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