Coach for my 13 Y/O Neice?

  1. My neice is 13 and has already been bitten by the Coach bug. She has been saving her money to buy a pair of Coach tennis shoes, even though she'll just beat them up in no time.

    I have an older, but like new, large black leather Hamptons demi. I was going to eBay it, but they don't go for much. I'm considering wrapping it up and giving it to her for Christmas this year. Maybe even adding a Coach charm with her first initial.

    Here is my dilemma: I don't know what kind of message she might gleen from the gift. Her parents have no money and would never buy her such a thing, but wouldn't care if I did. I'm the cool aunt who wants to give her cute stuff. Maybe if I give it to her and explain that this one is on me, but she has to do well in school and work hard if she ever wants to get these things on her own. Or do you think this would just be spoiling her?

    Oh geez, I don't know:confused1:. Any suggestions?

  2. hmm that's hard to say. i got my first coach at age 11 but it was from my MOM. my mom has been buying me coach for years now, but then again, i am an A student and am able to appreciate what i have. if it's for christmas gift though, i don't see that it's a problem. `
  3. umm......tough call.....If she's a good kid and does well in school etc...I would spoil her and give her the bag for Christmas. If she isn't deserving of it, I wouldn't. I like to spoil my niece too. I have all boys and my niece is the ONLY girl in the family. Its so much fun to buy for her but I do have to watch that I don't go overboard. :whistle:
  4. Is she a good kid? Is she responsible? Those are all questions you need to ask yourself before you hand over a Coach bag.
    If she is all those things, I dont think it would be spoiling her at all. I think it would be more like rewarding her for her good behavior.
    Last year for Christmas I bought 2 of my nieces Coach, one was 11 at the time. But she is a straight A student and very, very responsible-so I thought she was deserving of it(and it wasnt anything too expensive, just a little bag).
    I really dont see a problem in giving her the bag, and tell her what you said above "If you want more you need to do well in school and work hard". It could teach her the value of money.
    Let us know what you decide.
  5. i c nothing at all wrong w it. my parents always gave my sis and i nice things, but understood the value of it. ie, we got mono speedys for our respective uni grads, but we appreciated them and we knew my mom didnt get her 1st LV til her 30th bday.
  6. It sounds like a great gift, I would just take into consideration what the others have said. Will she truly love it? Does she do well in school and take care of her things? Its hard to tell if someone so young will really appreciate it and I understand your point of not wanting to set her up to be a label enthusiast at such a young age. You sound like a wonderful auntie by the way!
  7. that's a toughie. i'd be afraid to sent my niece the wrong message. i'd probably not give the coach bag to her. i didn't get my first coach item (a wristlet off of eBay) until i was in high school and could afford it on my own because i worked part time after school. i really appreciated it more since i spent my own money on my first coach item. it has more meaning to me because i had to save up for it. so i'd probably say no. even if it was my own daughter, i wouldn't give her a coach purse. i'd want her to save up for her first coach item. but that's just my opinion.
  8. I agree....I didn't get my first coach until i was 17 and bought it off of ebay with money i used working.....maybe you should put it aside for her and wait, because you said she's gonna beat p the shoes, maybe it's alittle too young, and plus she might expect it in the parents don't have the money to buy me coach, so I have to buy it myself.M aybe the best thing to do would be to take her to an outlet or something and show her some when she's saved up enough money for a small bag, and show her what she's been saving money for, and then it will be even more special to her.
  9. I'm trying to think about how I would have reacted to a Coach bag at 13. I got my first nice bag at 18 from an older cousin who was like a brother. It was a D&B and I seriously loved it and it didn't make me feel spoiled, mostly I just felt grateful and excited. Would it have been different at 13? I don't think so, for me anyway. I'm sure she would appreciate it, especially if she is a good kid and does well in school.

    The only drawback is she will likely always expect these kind of presents from you. I know when Christmas or my Bday comes around, I kind of know I'm going to get a nice bag or shoes or other designer things from my cousin. And it doesn't mean I appreciate them less or anything, it's kind of just become standard.
  10. Aaah, all good advice. I adore her and want to spoil her, but I do have to be careful not to go overboard sometimes. I used to take her school clothes shopping every fall, but then her mother (my brother's wife - she's a piece of work) started just expecting me to do I stopped.

    She is not a very good student and her folks just let her get away with it because they are too lazy to fight the battle.

    Maybe I could give her this little bag and tell her that there MIGHT be more in the future if she brings her grades up. If she doesn't, she's on her own. Kind of a reward system, or bribe, if you will. Does that sound too harsh?

    Sorry if these are silly questions. I don't have any kids and can't even recall my thought processes as a 13 year old.
  11. I think reward systems are great for kids that age, actually. I'm not a mother so maybe someone else will have a more valid opinion. I know that when I was that age I was bad about getting cavities, and my parents promised that if I would cut back on candy and stop getting cavities, they would give me $50 per dentist visit! You better believe I did it!
  12. If your going to use the reward the kids the reward first. They will work harder to achieve that goal. If she wants the purse she will work harder to get it.
    Some kids though are just not straight A kids. But are good kids. I know kids that are very respectful and good but struggle in school.
    Personally, I would hang onto it and see how she does and give it to her for her middle school graduation instead of christmas. Maybe a charm for christmas then show her what she can have if she does good the rest of the year.
  13. Why do people assume kids that are straight A students always "good kids"? I get so tired of hearing "I'm a straight A student......". So what.

    Two of my three teen girls are straight A students and the other one is more of a "B" student. They also hang out with a bunch of "smart" kids and I can tell you this.....those straight A students can be really wild.

    Grades do not reflect behavior. They reflect how you can take a test.
  14. I know, for me and maybe not for the others, that I said "does well in school" meaning tries her hardest and isn't a slacker and generally puts forth an effort. Straight A students are just as likely to be wild as any other student. But they're also just as like to be "good kids". I don't think any of us were making assumptions that just because someone makes A's they are any better of a kid than someone who doesn't, we were just saying she knows her neice better than we do and it would depend on a lot of factors as to whether or not we would give her a Coach at 13.
  15. HAHAHAAHA that's for sure. I know a girl who is essentially a genius and was a National merit finalist who is a pot-head.

    But to use myself as an example, My mom reallyyyyyyyyy spoils my sister and me. She let us fly to other states just to see my favorite band, lets my sister and I plan vacations, and has been "rewarding me" with tons of Coach since 7th grade. BUT the thing is, I actually am a really good kid with high aspirations who has been taking AP classes since freshman year and my sis was valedictorian. I'm pretty sure if I failed all my classes she wouldn't "reward" me.

    Sooo yeah.. there's two ends of a spectrum.