Christmas Dilemma:I want the bag I'm in love with but ....

klb4556

klb4556

O.G.
May 18, 2009
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118
#1
I don't want to seem greedy or anything like that but I would love to have a christmas surprise.

For the past, probably 6 or so years I have picked out what I wanted, and most of the time it's been a handbag, so I usually end up buying it myself, and if I can get a discount somehow, I do, and then if one of my parents wants to know what to get me, they will sometimes give me the money for that and we'll wrap it and I'll act surprised

This year, I'm wanting a bag really badly, and I would just get it for myself for christmas, but I really can't afford to.

My parents ask what I want every year, usually, but they really don't understand why I love bags so much, and therefore don't want to get it. They were planning on spending the same amount or more on something, yet they won't hear it if it's anything to do with a bag:lecture:

. It's also not too high end, it's only $198, so I don't feel like I'm asking too much.


Question: does anyone else have this problem? Family not understanding your love for bags
 
#2
I've been in your situation plenty of times and honestly I don't expect other people to get it anymore. As I get older I feel I'm better off asking for cash or just receive whatever my parents, husband or other people want to get me. If its something I really want, save my money myself. The surprise gift just doesn't really happen anymore, now that I'm a working adult.
 
#3
Of course! My family never offered me a bag, probably because they thought that once I would have it I would look for another one....People want their present to be unique and last.....:wondering
 
#6
Get used to it. I am 50 and my friends are still this way about my bags. They don't say it. They just make subtle digs about 'Your wallet cost more than I have in my purse' and things like that. It isn't going to change ever.
 
#7
Be careful what you wish for LOL!

I've never yet had a 'surprise' that was in any way close to my taste or useful to me.

Example even if someone chooses a bag for you as a surprise, it probably won't work for your needs - I once had a gift of a handbag that was just a half inch too short for my wallet so in order to use it I had to go out and buy a new wallet.
 
#8
I'd say, just mention your interest in the particular bag without really asking for it. If your parents decide that's what they want to get for you, that's great. If not, enjoy whatever they lovingly picked for you and start saving up for what you want. The only person I blatantly tell exactly what I want "no holds barred" is the hubby and he never gets it right anyway. ;)
 
#10
My husband (a devout Christian) refuses to buy anyone (including me) a Christmas present!

Reason is that 30 years ago he spent a lot of time and effort and money (that he couldn't afford at the time) to buy a Christmas gift 'he' thought a relative would like and then found out she sold it at a garage sale.

So I get anything I want for my birthday and our anniversary, but I know better than to ask for a Christmas present.

My take on this is not "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" but "do unto others as THEY would have you do unto them".

So if you want a $200 bag and they are willing to spend $200 on anything else (that you'd probably never use) WHY can't they buy you what you want?

On my designated non-Christmas gift occasions, I scout out what I want and he buys it for me no questions asked.
 
#11
klb4556 said:
I don't want to seem greedy or anything like that but I would love to have a christmas surprise.

For the past, probably 6 or so years I have picked out what I wanted, and most of the time it's been a handbag, so I usually end up buying it myself, and if I can get a discount somehow, I do, and then if one of my parents wants to know what to get me, they will sometimes give me the money for that and we'll wrap it and I'll act surprised

This year, I'm wanting a bag really badly, and I would just get it for myself for christmas, but I really can't afford to.

My parents ask what I want every year, usually, but they really don't understand why I love bags so much, and therefore don't want to get it. They were planning on spending the same amount or more on something, yet they won't hear it if it's anything to do with a bag:lecture:

. It's also not too high end, it's only $198, so I don't feel like I'm asking too much.


Question: does anyone else have this problem? Family not understanding your love for bags
Click to expand...
Honestly at tpf $198 for a bag seems inexpensive but in many society some people wouldn't even dream to spend more than $50 for a purse. If it's something u want i think it'll be best to save. $198 seems quite manageable for u :smile:

My friends and family know i love bags but i don't ask as a gift anymore from dh because sometimes when i sold it down the road i feel guilty :sweatdrop:

Xmas should be a time for family. If they feel it's better to gift u another item it's their choice if u have already told them what u preferred but they decided against it.
 
#12
There are 2 primary issues here:
1) your parents viewpoint on how frivolous handbag collecting is & 2) respecting the gift giver.

I think you need to respect your parents. If you expect a certain gift then you've missed the point of gift giving. On handbag collecting, once you're financially capable you can buy whatever you want without their interference.
 
#13
roanth said:
There are 2 primary issues here:
1) your parents viewpoint on how frivolous handbag collecting is & 2) respecting the gift giver.

I think you need to respect your parents. If you expect a certain gift then you've missed the point of gift giving. On handbag collecting, once you're financially capable you can buy whatever you want without their interference.
Click to expand...
I agree with roanth. I think it stinks that they're doing this, but roanth is ultimately right.

That said, save up for something HUGE and wear it in front of them all the time. ;)
 
#14
Thinking outside the box for a solution - is there something you need (new cellphone, specific item of clothing, kitchen appliance, etc.) that you could ask them for (since they are willing to buy you anything you want except a bag) and then you would save the money you would have had to spend on that item to pay for your bag?
 
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