About a month ago I accidently stumbled on my boyfriends email account, he did not sign out and it went into it. I know I shouldn't have but I looked at it and he had emails between him and another girl, very flirtatious and talking about meeting for a date on a thursday. There were about 5 emails between them, and from what I gathered from the emails they went on that one date and then she said "I know I mentioned to you that I have a boyfriend, I don't feel comfortable seeing you again" to which he replied "i know u do, which is why i didn't try kissing you, i understand but heres my cell # in case u want to call me again". I was LIVID and told him what I think of him, that I don't trust him anymore and never want to see him again. We are about to get engaged, so we are in a very serious relationship - it's not a causal bf/gf thing.
His explanation was first that he never even went on the date, it was his friend that went on the date because they know her and her bf, and wanted to get her 'caught' cause they don't like her. Then he changed it to that he DID go on the date with her to 'test' himself but nothing happened, and that it isn't cheating b/c nothing happened. Well, I know nothing happened from the emails but intimate emailing and going on even one date in my eyes is cheating. But anyway, I slowly forgave him after a few days of roses, 'im sorry' signs' and begging that he loved me etc.
It is still really hard for me to forget though, and as much as I tried not to, I checked his email again today :shame:. I was out of town a couple of weeks ago and came back last saturday. That night he came over to my house, then said he was going home to get changed and sleep over at mine. On that saturday night he never came over because he said he "helping out my friend who got robbed, and went to the precinct with him since my cousin is a sergeant there". He texted me from his house at 4am that ngiht saying he just home home from the the precinct. That night also one of his female friends (and briefly his ex-gf) was throwing a big party. Anyway today I saw pics on my computer from the party and saw that he was there! After not seeing me for a week he ends up going to her party instead (and knowing that he won't be able to see me on sunday cause I work the whole day). and he lied and had initially told me the party was cancelled due to her mom being sick so that I guess I prob wouldnt even suspect that he may be going to that instead.
his explanation is that he went just to give her a present and left, and he did help out his friend who got robbed. He says that he didn't lie, just left things out. Well, you did lie if you said the party was cancelled!! I know they are just friends but wtf does he have to lie?
I really don't know what to think? The sad thing is, I am not even surprised that he lied - I would be more surprised if I saw the photos and he WASNT there. I feel like I trust him less and less, but it will be so hard for me to end this relationship. We are already considered by our families engaged to be married, we are supposed to 'officially' get engaged in the next months. Also, I spend most of my free time with him and we are always together so I will be soo lonely without. Not to mention that I work for his brother so that will be really awkward and we live within 10 blocks of each other.
I am sorry this is so long but I really need some advice. I am afraid the advice I will get will be to end the relationship but I feel like that is something I am emotionally not capable of doing :cry:. Someone once told me that no man is able to stay with just one woman his whole life and although at the time I told that guy off, now I am starting to believe that he was right. :sad2:
His explanation was first that he never even went on the date, it was his friend that went on the date because they know her and her bf, and wanted to get her 'caught' cause they don't like her. Then he changed it to that he DID go on the date with her to 'test' himself but nothing happened, and that it isn't cheating b/c nothing happened. Well, I know nothing happened from the emails but intimate emailing and going on even one date in my eyes is cheating. But anyway, I slowly forgave him after a few days of roses, 'im sorry' signs' and begging that he loved me etc.
It is still really hard for me to forget though, and as much as I tried not to, I checked his email again today :shame:. I was out of town a couple of weeks ago and came back last saturday. That night he came over to my house, then said he was going home to get changed and sleep over at mine. On that saturday night he never came over because he said he "helping out my friend who got robbed, and went to the precinct with him since my cousin is a sergeant there". He texted me from his house at 4am that ngiht saying he just home home from the the precinct. That night also one of his female friends (and briefly his ex-gf) was throwing a big party. Anyway today I saw pics on my computer from the party and saw that he was there! After not seeing me for a week he ends up going to her party instead (and knowing that he won't be able to see me on sunday cause I work the whole day). and he lied and had initially told me the party was cancelled due to her mom being sick so that I guess I prob wouldnt even suspect that he may be going to that instead.
his explanation is that he went just to give her a present and left, and he did help out his friend who got robbed. He says that he didn't lie, just left things out. Well, you did lie if you said the party was cancelled!! I know they are just friends but wtf does he have to lie?
I really don't know what to think? The sad thing is, I am not even surprised that he lied - I would be more surprised if I saw the photos and he WASNT there. I feel like I trust him less and less, but it will be so hard for me to end this relationship. We are already considered by our families engaged to be married, we are supposed to 'officially' get engaged in the next months. Also, I spend most of my free time with him and we are always together so I will be soo lonely without. Not to mention that I work for his brother so that will be really awkward and we live within 10 blocks of each other.
I am sorry this is so long but I really need some advice. I am afraid the advice I will get will be to end the relationship but I feel like that is something I am emotionally not capable of doing :cry:. Someone once told me that no man is able to stay with just one woman his whole life and although at the time I told that guy off, now I am starting to believe that he was right. :sad2: