Charity fatigue?

SJ of AZ

Wristlet junkie
Jul 7, 2008
711
0
Diamondbacks Country
First, let me explain that I was brought up to believe that giving to charitable causes is the right thing for me to do. If I have $100, and a good charity is asking for $10, I should give them the $10 if I do not need the entire hundred. This is what I was taught, and I still believe it. I don't think anyone else has to follow this code and I don't judge people who don't give to charity. I don't know their lives, and it's not my business how others spend their own money.

Lately, I am getting sick of charities asking me for money. The simple requests don't bother me as much, but when they send me a calendar, stationery, address labels or whatever, I get annoyed at the waste. I have no use for more calendars and I have more than enough address labels from one of my favorite charities, so I'm good. I have learned that I have to open all of those envelopes instead of shredding them directly from the mailbox, after almost killing my shredder with a nickel that some charity had glued to their 'give us money' form. For at least a week now, I have been receiving daily requests for contributions from different charities, some that I've never even heard of, and yesterday I received three. I am not opposed to learning about new charities, but I feel like lately I'm just getting inundated with requests.

I guess this was just a rant, and I apologize for the length of the post, but can anyone else relate to this? This may be getting to me a little more than usual because my husband and I just had to pay a pretty horrific mechanic's bill and I'm not feeling very generous at the moment. I love to give and I feel bad, but I am just not going to send cash to everyone who asks me to donate, and I'm sick of the amount of paper I'm shredding or just tossing directly into the recycling bin. I don't know where these requests are coming from. Is my name on some kind of list or something? :Push:
 

shanam

62 is the new 40 LOL
Aug 15, 2006
2,093
2
Connecticut
I can relate. I feel the way you do about donating to charity and I try to give generously of both time and money. But the charities are the ones that are near and dear to my heart. I don't like getting all the little freebies that come with a letter asking for a contribution. I feel guilty tearing them up but I can't give to every one that asks.
 

bisousx

O.G.
Jan 3, 2008
11,606
5,317
out of my suitcase
I only donate time and money to causes that I am absolutely certain where the money goes, and causes that I truly care about. I don't feel guilty for ignoring the others.
 

jan228

Member
May 3, 2008
1,506
14
My husband recently donated to a charity, and they called him weeks later asking for more. He told them that he just donated, but they kept calling back asking for money. Finally he said that he is glad to donate, but if they don't take his number off of their list, they'd never see another penny.

They stopped calling.
 

IntlSet

Bonjour!
Jan 29, 2006
12,532
48
Chicago
Um, do you get tired of Saks asking you for money? Or Shop Bop? Because that's what tons of emails into your Inbox are.

Sorry, but as someone who donates a lot of time AND money to charity, I find it absurd that anybody would be "annoyed" by individuals (and a charity is just a bunch of individuals) trying to raise money for important causes.

Be grateful you have anything to give and that you don't need to turn to a charity.

Honestly, I think a lot of perspective is needed. If this is your biggest complaint (and I assume if ranks among them since you bothered posting about it), you are a lucky, lucky woman.

I have tons of friends who are constantly asking me for money. I either am asked to buy $500 tickets to a benefit dinner, or invited and therefore expected to donate, or else I am asked to donate for a marathon run on behalf of lung cancer, etc. It has never once crossed my mind to be "fatigued" by this. I feel grateful as hell that I can give.
 

hiyall

Member
Jan 29, 2009
239
0
Um, do you get tired of Saks asking you for money? Or Shop Bop? Because that's what tons of emails into your Inbox are.

Sorry, but as someone who donates a lot of time AND money to charity, I find it absurd that anybody would be "annoyed" by individuals (and a charity is just a bunch of individuals) trying to raise money for important causes.

Be grateful you have anything to give and that you don't need to turn to a charity.

Honestly, I think a lot of perspective is needed. If this is your biggest complaint (and I assume if ranks among them since you bothered posting about it), you are a lucky, lucky woman.

I have tons of friends who are constantly asking me for money. I either am asked to buy $500 tickets to a benefit dinner, or invited and therefore expected to donate, or else I am asked to donate for a marathon run on behalf of lung cancer, etc. It has never once crossed my mind to be "fatigued" by this. I feel grateful as hell that I can give.

ummmmm....:tup:
:supacool:
;)
:heart:
:queen:

:urock:

W*O*W (and Ouch/OWW)...You've (boldly) said a mouthful and all I can add (besides the smileys), is IF you keep up this way of thinking/believing/doing (about charity and giving and an "attitude" of gratitude like you've got), I know you will ALWAYS have plenty of $$$ and love/time to give and give and give some more! You GO girl!

 
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hiyall

Member
Jan 29, 2009
239
0
First, let me explain that I was brought up to believe that giving to charitable causes is the right thing for me to do. If I have $100, and a good charity is asking for $10, I should give them the $10 if I do not need the entire hundred. This is what I was taught, and I still believe it. I don't think anyone else has to follow this code and I don't judge people who don't give to charity. I don't know their lives, and it's not my business how others spend their own money.

Lately, I am getting sick of charities asking me for money. The simple requests don't bother me as much, but when they send me a calendar, stationery, address labels or whatever, I get annoyed at the waste. I have no use for more calendars and I have more than enough address labels from one of my favorite charities, so I'm good. I have learned that I have to open all of those envelopes instead of shredding them directly from the mailbox, after almost killing my shredder with a nickel that some charity had glued to their 'give us money' form. For at least a week now, I have been receiving daily requests for contributions from different charities, some that I've never even heard of, and yesterday I received three. I am not opposed to learning about new charities, but I feel like lately I'm just getting inundated with requests.

I guess this was just a rant, and I apologize for the length of the post, but can anyone else relate to this? This may be getting to me a little more than usual because my husband and I just had to pay a pretty horrific mechanic's bill and I'm not feeling very generous at the moment. I love to give and I feel bad, but I am just not going to send cash to everyone who asks me to donate, and I'm sick of the amount of paper I'm shredding or just tossing directly into the recycling bin. I don't know where these requests are coming from. Is my name on some kind of list or something? :Push:

Hey, I hear ya! Here's an article from The American Institute of Philanthropy that may be of some help! :yes:


http://www.charitywatch.org/articles/seventips.html
 

caitlin1214

tPF Bish
O.G.
Jul 7, 2006
29,122
771
40
Toronto
www.facebook.com
Tell the charities not to trade your name to other organizations.

Then tell them what (if any 'gifts' you want them to send you.)
It only costs a couple of cents to print up address labels but I would be iffy about them sending me a hat or a tote bag or something.

If I wanted that, I'd buy the bag with the money going to charity.



You can also tell them how often you want them to send you requests.
 

SJ of AZ

Wristlet junkie
Jul 7, 2008
711
0
Diamondbacks Country
Um, do you get tired of Saks asking you for money? Or Shop Bop? Because that's what tons of emails into your Inbox are.

Sorry, but as someone who donates a lot of time AND money to charity, I find it absurd that anybody would be "annoyed" by individuals (and a charity is just a bunch of individuals) trying to raise money for important causes.

Be grateful you have anything to give and that you don't need to turn to a charity.

Honestly, I think a lot of perspective is needed. If this is your biggest complaint (and I assume if ranks among them since you bothered posting about it), you are a lucky, lucky woman.

I have tons of friends who are constantly asking me for money. I either am asked to buy $500 tickets to a benefit dinner, or invited and therefore expected to donate, or else I am asked to donate for a marathon run on behalf of lung cancer, etc. It has never once crossed my mind to be "fatigued" by this. I feel grateful as hell that I can give.
Um, e-mail doesn't require cutting down trees for calendars, stationery, and other junk that I have to toss in the recycling bin. If I sign up with Saks or ShopBop to send me e-mail, it'd be pretty stupid to complain about that, wouldn't it? I didn't ask these charities to send me this stuff. How much money are they wasting on that crap? Did you somehow misread this and think that I'm someone who doesn't believe in giving to charity?

Frankly, I think you just read the subject line and from that alone decided to lecture me. :sad:

ETA: I appreciate the tips from other posters. It's nice to be able to figure out which charities are legit and which are a scam, too.
 

sweetneet

over the moon
Aug 8, 2007
6,119
13
TX
Um, do you get tired of Saks asking you for money? Or Shop Bop? Because that's what tons of emails into your Inbox are.

Sorry, but as someone who donates a lot of time AND money to charity, I find it absurd that anybody would be "annoyed" by individuals (and a charity is just a bunch of individuals) trying to raise money for important causes.

Be grateful you have anything to give and that you don't need to turn to a charity.

Honestly, I think a lot of perspective is needed. If this is your biggest complaint (and I assume if ranks among them since you bothered posting about it), you are a lucky, lucky woman.

I have tons of friends who are constantly asking me for money. I either am asked to buy $500 tickets to a benefit dinner, or invited and therefore expected to donate, or else I am asked to donate for a marathon run on behalf of lung cancer, etc. It has never once crossed my mind to be "fatigued" by this. I feel grateful as hell that I can give.
whoa...

first of all, i don't understand how you came to the assumption that this is "her biggest complaint". Everyday people on here post threads ranting about random, trivial things (from a stain on a bag to a comment said by a stranger on the street), yet I don't think there is really a need to take such a condescending/lecture tone, dismissing other's complaints as "absurd" just because you personally don't agree.

and FWIW, i also have donated both time and money to various charities..and i feel lucky that i can give...yet I can understand where she's coming from. Like she said, her main issue was not with GIVING to charities per se, but with the issue of constantly being inundated with material things like address labels, post-its, calendars, etc that she does not need or want. I totally get that..because I too would feel bad if you're constantly getting things that you will not use and that it will just end up in the recycle bin..it feels like a waste.

and bisousx made a good point. not all charities" are legit, not all charities may support your personal beliefs. so if you happened to be constantly getting stuff from an organization that you do not personally support that i can see that being a nuisance.
 

Tangerine

Layered.Like nachos.
O.G.
Jan 16, 2007
4,211
0
35
California
In these current times, I can barely afford simple things for myself.. I have some cc debt, and I drastically cut my phone plan, canceled Netflix, brought so much back to Costco - books and Dvds, even old ones, just to ease the financial burden of so many things happening at once. I cannot afford to buy anything for myself, let alone to give to charities. Though I think this is understood. If I tell them that I really really can't spare anything now, they get it.

I don't blame them for trying. While I am struggling I'm SURE everyone else is too. They need it more than ever probably, but unfortunately, people can't really spare now either..
 

SJ of AZ

Wristlet junkie
Jul 7, 2008
711
0
Diamondbacks Country
Thanks, sweetneet. When I read your post, I felt like you got what I was trying to say. :hugs: Tangerine makes a good point about some people being stretched thin these days. That's why I don't judge people who don't give. Like I said, I don't know their life! Most would give if they had it, but they don't because they're trying to support themselves or a struggling relative. I'd rather send money to help my starving college student cousin every month than send it to a charity that is not in line with my beliefs or that is a scam.

IntlSet, perhaps the difference between you and me is that my family actually did need charity when a health disaster and resulting job loss struck. Have you ever needed it? Can you say from personal experience what it is like to be broke, and teased by the other kids because you're wearing hand-me-downs that don't fit? You probably have no idea how humiliating it can be to receive charity. None. I suspect that some people, perhaps you're one of them, don't always give out of the goodness of their heart and empathy for their fellow man, but to assuage their guilt for the (perhaps unearned and undeserved) abundance in their own lives, and to keep up appearances in their social and professional circles. Most people who can spend over a thousand dollars on a purse know jack squat about what it's like to have empty cupboards and to count pennies for gas money, well, until the car is repossessed and bicycles and feet become the mode of transportation, anyway. I do know what it's like. I've lived it. I haven't had to live that way for a very long time, so you bet your ass I'm thankful for what I have!
 
Me too :yes:

OP, have you registered on the national do not mail list? It takes a bit but may hopefully slow the deluge of solicitations. Here's a link: https://www.directmail.com/directory/mail_preference/
Thank you for sharing this! It's like the National Do Not Call List.

I also think it's a waste when I get all this stuff in the mail. I think it's a waste of valuable money and materials that should be going towards a better use.