cat grief

No Cute

cupcake butt
Aug 17, 2008
19,539
5
Poor Kitten is a mess. We adopted him two years ago, and he joined our older cat who was 10, or so we thought. She died last month. Kitten had gained weight, purrs almost never (and he was a purr machine), goes outside and hides (didn't come in for two days this last time), isn't grooming. He's totally grieving.

Any suggestions on how to help the little guy (love and hugging already supplied when he will allow)? He's pathetic.
 
Feb 20, 2008
1,784
3
I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry about your older cat :sad:

I wish I had an answer for you. Do you think he may want the company of another cat or do you think he just needs more time to adjust? Maybe your vet would have some ideas?
 

No Cute

cupcake butt
Aug 17, 2008
19,539
5
I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry about your older cat :sad:

I wish I had an answer for you. Do you think he may want the company of another cat or do you think he just needs more time to adjust? Maybe your vet would have some ideas?
I decided against another cat for now, but his pathetic-ness has me considering it. He's got a check up and blood work to be sure he's not physically ill. :sad: He is such a happy happy cat. Purrs LOUDLY and constantly. He's so sad.
 

Cindi

My baby, Bellis
O.G.
Aug 8, 2006
9,872
159
53
PA USA
Poor baby. If you are not ready for a friend for him maybe all he needs is some time. Give him all the extra love, attention and treats you can manage. His only friend is gone. It's going to take some time for him to acclimate to the new situation.
 

No Cute

cupcake butt
Aug 17, 2008
19,539
5
Poor baby. If you are not ready for a friend for him maybe all he needs is some time. Give him all the extra love, attention and treats you can manage. His only friend is gone. It's going to take some time for him to acclimate to the new situation.
Thank you. Ya. He tries to interact with the other pets, but she was the alpha, his mom when he moved in, his girlfriend (in his wildest dreams...she'd have none of that :lolots:smile: He slept on my bed all day, and when I got home, he took off. I want to keep him inside, but he potties like a dog, outside, so it's hard. Hope he doesn't try to sleep outside tonight. :sad: I could use some kitten cuddling, too.
 

km8282

Member
Jun 23, 2011
1,150
1
I am so sorry for the loss of your older cat, and free terrible for your poor baby now.

I agree with the others. He may just need time and love.
 

No Cute

cupcake butt
Aug 17, 2008
19,539
5
Thank you, Boxermom and km8282. When my older dog died, my younger dog fell apart like this, but he had health issues, so he died, too. I'm worried...it's not rational to be worried since Kitten has been incredibly healthy until now, but I'm remembering back to my younger dog not surviving his older friend's death. :sad:
 

sdkitty

O.G.
Jan 16, 2006
22,469
20,270
San Diego
so sorry for your loss and your kitty's loss
If it's been a month or so, hopefully he won't be depressed too much longer
Sorry I don't have advice....my cats have never bonded with each other
 
Dec 2, 2012
138
0
Hi,

First, I am so sorry about the loss of your older kitty.

I have always had my cats in multiples, usually a few years apart in age. One of them, Phantom, always mourned the loss of her companions, even when she didn't particularly care for them in life. She would wander around the house calling for her lost housemates and she was normally not a talky cat. She would also become more or less clingy (depending on what her proclivity was at the time.) This behavior lasted a few weeks to a month.

When Phantom herself passed on, my other two cats, Diablo and Moo, mourned her passing by calling out and looking for her around the house. They also had eating disturbances. This lasted a few weeks.

I understand the desire not to get a new cat right away. I usually wait 5 or 6 months after the death of a pet. It's a very personal thing. It just seems to be a good period for me and my surviving pets.

I second the idea of getting a checkup, if you haven't already done so, but after that, all I can suggest is to keep giving your surviving cat lots of love and attention and perhaps getting some cat stress relief products like Feliway.

I'm pretty sure that your cat will come around in his own time (grief is usually like that), but you might want to do some internet research on cat stress relief, particularly homeopathic or all natural remedies.

I wish you all the best.

MirielMichelle
 

pixiejenna

O.G.
Apr 5, 2009
10,419
6,637
Awww *hugs* for kitten, he's still morning the loss of his friend.

My CW passed a few months ago and his brother/litter mate Zorro was very distraught when it happened, still isn't 100% back to his normal self. He was the active one of the two (I call him my ADD kitty because nothing can hold his attention more than for 2-3 minutes tops). He became very anti-social, spending most of his days sleeping/hiding, I think he put on a pound or two, and he's a black & white cat and he started getting "grey" hairs in his black fur. He'd walk around the house crying for him, and Zorro was the quite one never made a peep, his big brother was the noisy one of the two. When he showed no interest in things he normally loved, like being toted around the house over your shoulder, licking my dads head/hair, ect it made us so sad and depressed. We also went threw cuddle withdrawals because both of them were big cuddlers. Keep giving him extra love and TLC when he lets you. After loosing two dogs so quickly I don't blame you for being extra anxious over this, I would be too.

If your not ready for a new kitten in the house I'd say hold off on it until you feel good about it. We got a new brother for Zorro and they started off really good until they were together 24/7. Zorro got super stressed out by the new guy, he'd rub up against him and purr on him and he didn't like it one bit. He would run away from the new guy! They are better now but they still get scrappy. Zorro is a lot better now, not 100% back to his usual personality but major shifts in the right direction. He's more snugly again, wanting to be carried around the house again, and licking my dad's head/hair. So that's another thing to consider before jumping into getting a new friend. They may not hit it off and it could cause more stress on your kitty.

I wish I could give you some better advice on how to help your kitty. Since you took him in for a check up recently, maybe you could call the vet and ask if they have any tips to help your grieving kitty. When we started looking for a new kitten, our vet gave us a ton of tips (several pages worth of info)on how to help introduce them to each other, along with shelters to check out.
 

madamefifi

cat hoarder
O.G.
Aug 23, 2006
5,813
734
virginia
I'm so sorry for your loss. It is hard to see our pets grieve for their companions, they don't understand why someone who has been in their lives for so long is suddenly gone. Hang in there, Kitten will recover. Just give him lots of love. I wouldn't add any more stressors to his life such as a new cat until he is back to his usual self.
 

hermes_lemming

my little etoupe
O.G.
May 5, 2006
11,456
1,562
My new dog is undergoing his own grieving. I took him home thinking I was doing the right thing and he has been downright miserable since day one. Completely depressed and despondent. Turns out he misses his littermate. They used to snuggle and do everything together. Of course I learn this too late. Poor fella. What's worse is that he is now howling with grief and I have no idea how to stop it. I tried everything - toys, treats, scraps, you name it. No dice. :sad:
 

No Cute

cupcake butt
Aug 17, 2008
19,539
5
I do miss Kitty a lot, but it's almost (not totally) more painful to watch Kitten suffer. He's a happy go lucky cat and miserable.

On a human note, my 7 yo got Build a Bear gift cards and used them this weekend and stuffed a cat...then named his cat "Death." Ummm...are you sure, child? Yes yes. Okaaaay...we all grieve in our own ways. I think my child is, in his way, honoring Kitty and processing.

Grief is so unique to the individual.
 

No Cute

cupcake butt
Aug 17, 2008
19,539
5
Kitten came in tonight, so we may be turning a corner. He is on the arm of the couch, his spot with his own towel, and as I work, I put my head on him. He started to purr like his old self and fell asleep. Hopeful that's letting us love on him now.
 
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