so this might be long, lol, just as a warning. i'm giving my whole background story. i have a lot to get off of my chest, and i'm looking for answers. so i've been overweight since i was about 14. i used to get a good amount of exercise walking around the neighborhood with my friends. i met my boyfriend then, who is now my fiance and he was a couple of years older and had a car so my exercise went out the window. my parents also seperated around the same time, and i started eating out all the time which developed through the years into just a huge amount of overeating. i'm not diagnosed with any eating disorder like binge eating disorder or anything, but its pretty much me. when i was 14 before i gained weight i was an inch shorter (5'6) than i am now (5'7) and weighed 155 which was a pretty good weight for my height. throughout the years my weight creeped up to 200 in high school then i lost about 10 lbs and plateaued at 190 for years. if i would gain a little weight, just with cutting down on some food and eating a little healthier i could easily lose 5-10 lbs which i'm sure was mostly water weight, but it dropped off pretty fast. when i started college i went to a community college for 2 years, in which one summer i went on a horrible "diet" where i only ate one meal a day and lost a little weight but it all came back of course. then i transferred to a university in fall of '06. it all went downhill when i transferred schools. my stress level sky rocketed and i started eating like crazy. i would eat out almost every day for lunch in between classes. and i wouldnt just order a meal, i would order a meal plus a couple other things on the menu too. i ate alone in my car most of the time because i didnt want people to see how i ate. i would even throw away the bags from food places to no one would see them in my car when i got home. well, my weight went up to 210 the first year at the university. i did weight watchers in spring of 07 and found losing the weight to be harder than usual. in the past, when i would eat just as healthy, i would lose weight so much faster. this time it took me longer to lose 10 lbs and i gained it right back. i dont know if i wasnt prepared to make the changes i needed, but because of school i just had a horrible time trying to not binge. i stuck with ww until a few months ago, why i even stayed that long i'm not sure since i really stopped making progress month and months ago. i've learned so much about the right and wrong ways of losing weight over the past couple of years, through my own research online and other sources. i know so much about what to do and how to do it, and how not to do it that i can dish out tons of advice for other people and tell them things about eating right that they never knew, yet i cant seem to do those things myself. i have a huge habit of binging in the afternoon. since i've been on winter break. i'll eat something, then i'll make myself something else until i've had about 3 or 4 things and i'm stuffed. then a few hours later its dinner time and i have to make dinner for me and my fiance and of course i cant stay away from that so i'll eat it too. i'm not one of those people who can just cut out all those typical foods. i cant live on grilled chicken breast and broccoli. i do like those things but i grow bored with them so fast that i just give up. weight watchers seemed like a good idea for me because my idea of weight loss is eating what i want just normal portions, not 4. i just couldnt seem to stick with weight watchers. so i'm trying to just keep my portion sizes normal and still eat what i want, just not a lot of it. lately i've been trying to cut down on how much i eat and i feel like i'm doing pretty well. i'm not counting calories like i used to but i dont think i'm eating any more than i did back in high school and i've added exercising in recently. but i havent seen the scale budge and i feel like i cant lose weight like i used to. have i ruined my metabolism? is there any way to get it back to normal? i dont know what i'm looking for other than maybe people who have been through the same thing. and maybe any answer to why it used to be easier to jumpstart my weight loss. i'm really not looking to do anything unhealthy and i hope everything i said makes sense. i hope i didnt com across as naive or ignorant because i really do feel like i know whats right and wrong when it comes to losing weight i guess i've just yo yo'd my body so much that i'm just ready for something permanent. i'm not looking to diet, i'm just looking to eat like a normal person. and if there is maybe something that i thought i knew that i didnt, please tell me. if i've been doing something wrong or had the wrong idea about things i'd really like to know. thanks for reading. i said it would be long!