Buyers Remorse or SNAD?

JuliJenn

Member
Jan 14, 2012
1,284
10
Boston, MA
Thank you very much! I am very grateful for your kind posts! :smile: I heard back from the buyer this morning. Here is her reply:

I understand all of what you're saying. I sell on ebay as well and even tho I list all the details and say no returns people still ask to return and I always say yes. In addition I give back return shipping cost. So when you receive please refund $97.50 (the $88 plus the $9.50 it cost to ship). the tracking number is xxx. Thanks.

I don't know what to do. I can't refund her more than the total she paid, right? It looks like she isn't asking for the shipping to her, just the shipping back to me. But the shipping to her I charged was only $6.95. I paid out of my own pocket for the difference, as it was like $10 or so to ship to her. So the amount I received from her was a few dollars less ($94.95 total) than what she paid and is asking me to give her back ($97.50). I hope I am making sense here. How would I even do that? I almost don't want to fight her over $10. She seems like a fiesty one. Can I please ask you all: What would you do? How would I even do what she is asking? Send a separate paypal for a few bucks? Thank you all again, very much!
 
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Oct 4, 2008
868
13
Philly
It seems like the buyer is trying to bully you into paying the return shipping - don't fall for it.

The shipping cost back to you is on her. If she doesn't like it, suggest that she sell the item herself. You can offer her the photos from your auction (they were good shots) to use.

You are being kind to accept the return and she is really pushing it asking for return shipping.
 

IrisCole

O.G.
Dec 28, 2007
9,289
45
Michigan
www.nikitajade.etsy.com
Thank you very much! I am very grateful for your kind posts! :smile: I heard back from the buyer this morning. Here is her reply:

I understand all of what you're saying. I sell on ebay as well and even tho I list all the details and say no returns people still ask to return and I always say yes. In addition I give back return shipping cost. So when you receive please refund $97.50 (the $88 plus the $9.50 it cost to ship). the tracking number is xxx. Thanks.

I don't know what to do. I can't refund her more than the total she paid, right? It looks like she isn't asking for the shipping to her, just the shipping back to me. But the shipping to her I charged was only $6.95. I paid out of my own pocket for the difference, as it was like $10 or so to ship to her. So the amount I received from her was a few dollars less ($94.95 total) than what she paid and is asking me to give her back ($97.50). I hope I am making sense here. How would I even do that? I almost don't want to fight her over $10. She seems like a fiesty one. Can I please ask you all: What would you do? How would I even do what she is asking? Send a separate paypal for a few bucks? Thank you all again, very much!
I agree that she's trying to bully you into paying something that it's not your responsibility to pay. I wouldn't respond to this at all. Just wait for the item to come back to you, and then refund her only what she paid for the item; you're not going to make her happy no matter what you do, and she's not returning the item due to an error on your part, so IMO you're under no obligation to pay shipping either way.
 

JuliJenn

Member
Jan 14, 2012
1,284
10
Boston, MA
It seems like the buyer is trying to bully you into paying the return shipping - don't fall for it.

The shipping cost back to you is on her. If she doesn't like it, suggest that she sell the item herself. You can offer her the photos from your auction (they were good shots) to use.

You are being kind to accept the return and she is really pushing it asking for return shipping.
Thank you, Jennie's Aunt. I think she has already shipped the dress. She sent me tracking,so I'm guessing its on its way. How would you reply to her message? I honestly don't even know how to handle this one! She is very demanding in her tone that I know I'm going to get a negative feedback if I don't do what she asks. And I like my 100%. How would you handle someone like this? Thank you again very much! I appreciate your posting and helping me!
 

BeenBurned

Coach, Dooney, Uggs
Authenticator
O.G.
Feb 25, 2007
44,635
10,285
East Coast, USA
I agree that she's trying to bully you into paying something that it's not your responsibility to pay. I wouldn't respond to this at all. Just wait for the item to come back to you, and then refund her only what she paid for the item; you're not going to make her happy no matter what you do, and she's not returning the item due to an error on your part, so IMO you're under no obligation to pay shipping either way.
ITA with this.

Understand that she may neg you for it but she might do that anyway as well as ding your DSRs.

If you do choose to reimburse her return shipping, you would do it as a separate transaction and would "send money." Don't send as personal or gift because in doing so, I think she won't be hit with a fee. If you do reimburse, do so in a way that results in a fee hit for her! I do NOT recommend doing reimbursing her; just telling you how to do it!

Please out this PITA bully so I can add her to my BBL.
 

JuliJenn

Member
Jan 14, 2012
1,284
10
Boston, MA
I agree that she's trying to bully you into paying something that it's not your responsibility to pay. I wouldn't respond to this at all. Just wait for the item to come back to you, and then refund her only what she paid for the item; you're not going to make her happy no matter what you do, and she's not returning the item due to an error on your part, so IMO you're under no obligation to pay shipping either way.
Thank you, IrisCole! So just wait for the dress and refund as per usual? And then just take her negative?

I honestly don't appreciate her bulling me, but I just didn't know the best way to handle this situation either. I've never had anyone be so demanding for shipping fees before. I think her take on it is that its an SNAD. If it were an SNAD, honestly, I would have no issue paying her shipping. If its my fault, I am not one to put up a fight. I would happily pay shipping both ways if I was remiss in my description.

But I tried to make sure the details were all there. I want her to be happy and I would not make her keep the dress, even though its no returns, but she is trying to make this a SNAD on me and I don't like her tactics. Oh goodness. People can be so tough sometimes. I really appreciate your guidance on this. I think no reply right now is the best response. Thank you so much!
 

JuliJenn

Member
Jan 14, 2012
1,284
10
Boston, MA
ITA with this.

Understand that she may neg you for it but she might do that anyway as well as ding your DSRs.

If you do choose to reimburse her return shipping, you would do it as a separate transaction and would "send money." Don't send as personal or gift because in doing so, I think she won't be hit with a fee. If you do reimburse, do so in a way that results in a fee hit for her! I do NOT recommend doing reimbursing her; just telling you how to do it!

Please out this PITA bully so I can add her to my BBL.
Thank you very much, BeenBurned! I like what you and Iris Cole have advised too. I appreciate the "how to" as well for the return shipping. I don't know what I'll end up doing with that. Part of me wants to let her know what she is doing is not okay and just take what she dishes out, but the other part doesn't want to ruin my feedback reputation over $10. I'm torn.

I don't like her way of going about things. I think it is sneaky and wrong, and rather inconsiderate. Its too bad she is abusing her power as a buyer. And there is nothing I can do if she negs me. It is what it is.

Right now, I am not responding to her message as suggested. I'll wait for the dress and then figure out how much I'll give her back. I will be happy to out her. Good riddance when this is over! Is it okay to post her ID here or should I do that privately to you?
 
Apr 15, 2007
62,906
6,280
I agree that she's trying to bully you into paying something that it's not your responsibility to pay. I wouldn't respond to this at all. Just wait for the item to come back to you, and then refund her only what she paid for the item; you're not going to make her happy no matter what you do, and she's not returning the item due to an error on your part, so IMO you're under no obligation to pay shipping either way.

Agree she is trying to bully you big time... I would not answer her e-mail.

You have already agreed to the return.. Just refund her the amount of the
item.

Be prepared to perhaps receive a neutral feedback & possible dinging
of your DSR's

Just put it in perspective... the buyer made an error & this has nothing
to do with you.. Your pics & dscription were clear very clear for that matter.
This is on your buyer for sure whether she likes it or not
 

BeenBurned

Coach, Dooney, Uggs
Authenticator
O.G.
Feb 25, 2007
44,635
10,285
East Coast, USA
Thank you very much, BeenBurned! I like what you and Iris Cole have advised too. I appreciate the "how to" as well for the return shipping. I don't know what I'll end up doing with that. Part of me wants to let her know what she is doing is not okay and just take what she dishes out, but the other part doesn't want to ruin my feedback reputation over $10. I'm torn.

I don't like her way of going about things. I think it is sneaky and wrong, and rather inconsiderate. Its too bad she is abusing her power as a buyer. And there is nothing I can do if she negs me. It is what it is.

Right now, I am not responding to her message as suggested. I'll wait for the dress and then figure out how much I'll give her back. I will be happy to out her. Good riddance when this is over! Is it okay to post her ID here or should I do that privately to you?
The thing is that she can still neg or neutral you and ding your stars even if you do exactly as she demands. (Buyers like that do that just because they can!)

My feeling is that giving in just reinforces (in her mind) that she can pull that crap and get away with it and she'll continue to bully and strongarm other sellers to get her way.
 

JuliJenn

Member
Jan 14, 2012
1,284
10
Boston, MA
The thing is that she can still neg or neutral you and ding your stars even if you do exactly as she demands. (Buyers like that do that just because they can!)

My feeling is that giving in just reinforces (in her mind) that she can pull that crap and get away with it and she'll continue to bully and strongarm other sellers to get her way.
I know you're right. Ugh. I'm like the worst at confrontations. :panic:

But I know that its not okay to be a pushover either, especially as its going to make her think that she can treat all other sellers this way. Would you include a note to her when refunding only the $88 paid for the dress? Is there a nice way to let her know why I am only refunding the price paid for the dress and that I did take a return for her when the policy was no returns? Something maybe like:

Thank you very much for the prompt return of the dress. I am sorry that it was not to your liking. I have refunded the purchase price paid. I can appreciate your policy with your buyers, but please understand that I am not able to recoup shipping fees for returns as that money is paid to USPS. I undercharge my buyers for shipping and do not charge any handling fees of any kind. I try to save my buyers money in that way, so for that reason I am not able to refund the shipping. I am happy to accept a return, however if a buyer is not 100% happy despite my no returns policy. I hope you can understand and respect that I am doing my best to make this a pleasant transaction for you. Thank you again very much. I wish you all the best, and hope you have a lovely day. Kind regards, xxx

Or something along these lines...I am open to any suggestions! Thank you again so much, BB! I appreciate your stay strong advice! :flowers:
 
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BeenBurned

Coach, Dooney, Uggs
Authenticator
O.G.
Feb 25, 2007
44,635
10,285
East Coast, USA
I think your message will be fine. You needn't add more, however if you'd like, you might say that "as promised, I've refunded your full purchase price. The dress was accurately described and pictured so as a goodwill gesture, I'm accepting the return because I don't want you to feel "stuck" with a dress you aren't happy with."

And just leave it at that.

She should be ashamed of herself since being a seller, she has walked in your shoes!
 

JuliJenn

Member
Jan 14, 2012
1,284
10
Boston, MA
I think your message will be fine. You needn't add more, however if you'd like, you might say that "as promised, I've refunded your full purchase price. The dress was accurately described and pictured so as a goodwill gesture, I'm accepting the return because I don't want you to feel "stuck" with a dress you aren't happy with."

And just leave it at that.

She should be ashamed of herself since being a seller, she has walked in your shoes!
Thank you! I like that better. More to the point. Thank you so much, BB!

See, I can be totally too wordy! ;)
 
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Portoar

Member
Dec 30, 2010
126
27
I think your message will be fine. You needn't add more, however if you'd like, you might say that "as promised, I've refunded your full purchase price. The dress was accurately described and pictured so as a goodwill gesture, I'm accepting the return because I don't want you to feel "stuck" with a dress you aren't happy with."

And just leave it at that.

She should be ashamed of herself since being a seller, she has walked in your shoes!
+1 I like this reply better. I would not get into any wordy responses, because that tells the buyer that you're worried and on the defensive. Be short and to the point. Say that you agreed to refund her the purchase price and did not agree to refund the shipping. Period.
 
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