Bruised, Battered, but Back/with Tods treats for you!

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SoyBean001

Member
Dec 8, 2005
493
0
#1
Hi guys,

Sorry to those whom I haven't answered for awhile following the comments I've posted....I appreciate them, but amazing enough, I haven't been obsessing over bags for a bit. Here's my story I thought I'd share....hope to gain some sympathy from fellow bag lovers here

I recently traveled around the globe to meet my future mother in law and family. Of course during my travel, I packed along a few of my goodies (bags of course) to match with my various outfits. Anyways, she (mother in law) heavily criticized me and judged me to be completely superficial upon seeing the bags....and subsequently continued to judge my actions in a bias light to reaffirm this opinion of hers. I felt very sad :sad2: cause I never thought this would happen...I later tucked away the rest of my bags and hide them in my suitcase for the rest of my stay. Anyways, this was a horrible experience...I am now back and slowing being lured out of my bag battered induced coma.

The happy sight of Tods new line for the season has brought some smiles to my face. I called the store and they sent me some beautiful pictures I thought you guys might enjoy seeing as well. I know some of these have been displayed on some threads, BUT these pictures are stunning! I personally like the Tods Carey Sacca Media in red (otherwise known as the bag in the smack center of the three shelves pic, but in red) what a charmer:love: . Hope you like them....glad to be back:biggrin:

ok, just realized I couldn't attach these pics:sad:...attachment is too big for the allowed filetype here on the forum....sorry, I'm not computer savvy, can I email these pics. to anyways who can reduce them and post them up for me and the rest of us? They are worth the viewing....
 

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#4
Hey Soy, welcome back..

Mother-in-laws can be ecessively critical, probably has nothing to do with your bags maybe just her nerves meeting her future daughter-in-law. Over the years I've learned that mother-in-law criticism is mostly over having to share their son with someone else, or something else that really doesn't reflect a flaw you have but a flaw of their own. Just smile and be polite, I'd suggest, I'm sure you dealt well with it while you were there.

Can't wait to see the new line of bags!
 
#5
i'm sorry your future mother in law was so horrible to you. i don't understand why some women do that. they want their sons to be happy, don't they?
i hope you'll feel better soon.
 
#6
i'm sorry too about your mother in law but hopefully things will get better with time......

i remember when i first met my boyfriend's family years ago they were horrible to me.......mean to my face and outright rude for no reason.....the parents would be like we don't want you bringing this girl over to our place.....we refuse to acknowledge her as your girlfriend.......and since the parents disliked me, his older sister (who is way older so also kind of like a mother to him) hated me too and would be mean to me and they'd make snide comments in chinese about me (since i don't speak it)........i think it wasn't about me (since they didn't know me at all) and more about the fact that they didn't want to lose their son........

but now they've realized what a wonderul person i am :nuts: and they love me.......seriously......they take me out to dinner every weekend, buy me diamond rings.....hug me and hit me (affectionately of course) and it's like i'm one of them.....they make me food i like and even though there's a language barrier we get each other.....there's nothing about me that changed, they just saw that i'm a good person, i make their son happy, and i'm not going anywhere soon.......so don't let it get u too down....sometimes things just take time
 
#7
I'm sorry to read about your experience, and hope that you get out of your funk soon. It's too bad that they seemingly judged you in a superficial way. Hopefully, with time, they will get to see the real you and appreciate you for who you are.

I'm really excited to see the Tod's bags....
 
#8
wow you guys,

thanks so much for your comments....they are really nice and caring. I'm feeling a bit better now.... I agree the handbag issue probably wasn't at the core of the problem....rather, it was the issue of letting her son go. It was probably just a easy target to start picking at...anyways, she was rude to my face, and made unfriendly comments to me when no one was around....like a big baby, I kinda broke down one night in frustration after trying my best to be liked....including making the family a special meal (I enjoy gourmet cooking), and asked why she diskliked me so....I got this response..."in the end, it doesn't matter if I like you, you have the final power over him! My fiance thought this was a neutral statement, but sorry, in my book, its not! I never thought gaining a fiance would equate to a power struggle for dictatorship! Anyways, thanks again so much for listening and sympathezing....you great purse people:love:

Vlad, post those pictures soon!!!! These Tods are soooo dreamy....For Valentines, I'd like an arrow with a big red tods at the end to strike me...:biggrin:
 
#10
Wow, she sounds awful. My ex-boyfriend's mother was like that - criticized everything I did, accused me of "stealing" her son from her, called me insecure and made me cry all the time. I finally realized that if HE did not stand up to her our relationship could not continue (in the end we broke up for a number of reasons; we were horribly mismatched). Point being, there cannot be three of you in the relationship and she needs to recognize that. THat may be a message that needs to come from HIM. If she truly loves her son then she will want him to he happy; what she wants is control. Some parents are seriously messed up and mix up control with love.

I commend you for your restraint; I probably would have just told her off.
 
#11
Fendi, I hear you! I got into a big fuss coming home telling my fiance HE needed to say something!!! In fact, one of those rude comments was actually in front of him (the rare instance). He said he was too shocked at the time, and felt he shouldn't hurt her by speaking up when she was "sorry"later....I disagree....how about me!!! Anyways, we are miles away in NY from England now, but.....I don't know if I can deal with somewhat who won't stick up for me....he believes that she made all the comments I said she did... but he thinks I simply misinterpreted her good intentions! I am soooo frustrated....trust me, I KNOW (like anyone else would) when someone is simply not being nice to me! She's saying opposite things to make me sound so bad....like "oh, I like her, its just that she acts like she doesn't like me....."aghhhhhh!!!!

Anyways, about telling her off, I think this would of been difficult seen she was housing me for two and a half weeks in England away from NY, and I wasn't leaving anytime soon (oh, plus I became bloody sick and was bedridden for a bit)....in fact, I think if i did, she might have used it to show how "bad" i am.....no one else in the family heard 99.9% of those snide comments she made to me.


FendiBagLady said:
Wow, she sounds awful. My ex-boyfriend's mother was like that - criticized everything I did, accused me of "stealing" her son from her, called me insecure and made me cry all the time. I finally realized that if HE did not stand up to her our relationship could not continue (in the end we broke up for a number of reasons; we were horribly mismatched). Point being, there cannot be three of you in the relationship and she needs to recognize that. THat may be a message that needs to come from HIM. If she truly loves her son then she will want him to he happy; what she wants is control. Some parents are seriously messed up and mix up control with love.

I commend you for your restraint; I probably would have just told her off.
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#12
My mother in law had been horrible to me for 25 years and now she is just comming around. Since I hate drama I just let her be the way she wanted to be. She now wants a relationship with us and I think its so sad that she missed all of those years when her grandchildren were growing up. I can't say I want a "relationship" with her. I wouldn't invite her to shop or just go out to lunch and chat but I am glad she is waking up for the sake of her son and my daughters.

I hope it doesn't take your mother in law that long.
 
#13
Wow. I can't believe it...25 years! I commend you for dealing with this for so long. I pray this will not be the case here...after two and a half weeks, I was ready to take a swim across the ocean back to NY with fever, flu and all. I hope my situation will be more like JC229's post. I am really the laid back non drama type too....I can't deal with petty catty behavior. Admittedly, I am still sad...I guess I had high hopes for us.... if you don't mind me asking....how did your husband deal with the situation? Did he say anything to his mother?



serendipity3kb said:
My mother in law had been horrible to me for 25 years and now she is just comming around. Since I hate drama I just let her be the way she wanted to be. She now wants a relationship with us and I think its so sad that she missed all of those years when her grandchildren were growing up. I can't say I want a "relationship" with her. I wouldn't invite her to shop or just go out to lunch and chat but I am glad she is waking up for the sake of her son and my daughters.

I hope it doesn't take your mother in law that long.
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#14
Amazing, what a turn around! I could sure use some of your magic! I'm glad to hear things improved so well....I guess the dreaded mother in law scenarios are as classic as some handbags....they never seem to fade.


jc2239 said:
i'm sorry too about your mother in law but hopefully things will get better with time......

i remember when i first met my boyfriend's family years ago they were horrible to me.......mean to my face and outright rude for no reason.....the parents would be like we don't want you bringing this girl over to our place.....we refuse to acknowledge her as your girlfriend.......and since the parents disliked me, his older sister (who is way older so also kind of like a mother to him) hated me too and would be mean to me and they'd make snide comments in chinese about me (since i don't speak it)........i think it wasn't about me (since they didn't know me at all) and more about the fact that they didn't want to lose their son........

but now they've realized what a wonderul person i am :nuts: and they love me.......seriously......they take me out to dinner every weekend, buy me diamond rings.....hug me and hit me (affectionately of course) and it's like i'm one of them.....they make me food i like and even though there's a language barrier we get each other.....there's nothing about me that changed, they just saw that i'm a good person, i make their son happy, and i'm not going anywhere soon.......so don't let it get u too down....sometimes things just take time
Click to expand...
 
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