Boyfriend rant.. sigh.

dusty paws

8.11.2012
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Sep 20, 2006
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East Bay, CA
Alrighty. So my boyfriend and I just got back from a week's vacation in Maui and I had the time of my life. While I was there I got a henna plumeria on my foot, and last night I got that design tattoo'd on me to remind me of the fabulous vacation, happy memories, and everything else that Hawaii holds for me. Anyway.. I told him about said tattoo last night and he seemed fine, until today when he says that he's unhappy with me and he doesn't understand why every single 'good day i have i have to run out and get inked'. Hm. Lets see.. I have two other very small tattoos, both very special to me. All I'm asking is for him to be supportive even if he doesn't really understand why I wanted to get this last tattoo. So now I'm sad and feeling unhappy about myself. Talk about a self esteem deflater. Sigh. Thanks for letting me rant everyone. :heart:
 

madamefifi

cat hoarder
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Aug 23, 2006
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Oh dusty, don't feel bad! Your Bf's reaction is typical of people who don't have any tats. I would just ignore him since IMO he's just being petty and selfish. It's your body and you have every right to get a tattoo if you want to! It's on your foot---it's not like you got a full sleeve or anything. Just be happy with your beautiful new ink and your good memories of Hawaii. You shouldn't need his approval or "support" for such a personal thing.
 

Megs

I love bags
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Sep 13, 2005
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And the Hawaii tattoo is kind of about him too- your trip with him there this time. He may not get it, but try to explain it to him! Glad you enjoyed your trip!!
 

Nymph

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Jul 17, 2006
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Don't see why you should let him dictate what makes you feel happy. I say enjoy ya tattoo, and I'm sure he'll come around soon :yes:
 

alvie223

Member
Apr 24, 2006
3,131
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I agree with the boyfirend. then again I would never get a tatoo. I don't think he's going to understand it. So either don't bring them up, or find someone new. Perhaps in his mind their was a differnt way that you could have created a lasting momento of your trip together.
 

amanda

I Bleed Georgia Red
Oct 18, 2005
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Tell him it is a lot better than "every time I have a good day" you go out and get drunk and have sex with strangers.
haaaaaha, i love it.

i don't understand why some people get all up in arms over tattoos, particularly, small, innocuous, hidden ones that remind you of happy times. it's not like you got "I :heart: HAWAII" tattooed across your forehead. i just think that some men are uncomfortable with women doing expressive, individualistic things like getting a tattoo without their 'permission.' one of my ex's certainly did.
 

D & G rockstar

I'm a BAL-ler now
May 12, 2006
3,924
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NYC
ITA w/ the majority. he doesn't get it and he doesn't necessarily need to. what a buzzkill! you only have 3 tattoos. I'm sure you've had more than 3 good days.
 

south-of-france

Work hard, play hard
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May 4, 2006
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I don't like tattoos but the way you explained it made me get your point. Maybe you could explain it that way to him? Or ask him what about tattoos (or something else) made him angry? But please continue to enjoy the beautiful memories.
 

caitlin1214

tPF Bish
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Jul 7, 2006
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Maybe he's upset that you didn't discuss it with him first?

As much as you'd like to, no mudslinging! It's fun at the time but it's destructive and so NOT the direction you want to go right now.

Explain what your tattoos mean and explain what this one means. Point out that they're not blatantly obvious and that the plumeria one was to remind you of your special time together.
 

HauteMama

.
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Sep 22, 2006
11,463
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It would seem he has bigger issues than your new tattoo and he likely used the tattoo to pick an argument. Things like body modification often boil down to either control issues or issues about how he sees you and wants others to see you. Those are both ultimately issues of insecurity and need to be addressed. But in the end, it is his problem and not yours. You can be kind in trying to help him see things your way, but you cannot change how he feels or his deep-seated insecurities.
 

BalenciagaLove

Plisse Me!
Feb 4, 2006
5,181
8
SF Bay Area
^^^ I agree with Hautemama, but I also would give him the benefit of doubt and explain to him how you did to us here. He might simply not understand the sentiments behind the tattoo. Good luck and keep us posted!
 

Kimm992

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Jun 9, 2006
3,951
244
Toronto, Canada
What a bummer!!

I can totally understand your side of things. I have 3 tattoos and am getting another one next week.

My boyfriend doesn't have any and he has said to me that he doesn't understand why I feel the need to get more tattoos....he doesn't like them, etc, etc. but I just tell him he's gonna have to accept me how I am (tattoos and all) or I can show him the door.

You like tattoos, it's YOUR body and YOUR choice and if the b/f doesn't like it then pass him a tissue and tell him to get over it.

That's just my opinion though!!

Congrats on the new ink by the way!! :yes:
 

remonb

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Oct 14, 2006
603
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NC
Dusty, don't feel bad. It's your body, if you want to ink it up go right ahead. I have six tattoos and I'm planning on getting another one. My husband doesn't want me too but it is my decision and cash not his. If that tattoo is what makes you happy then you should be all for it.