Birth Order - this is funny for MOMS!


    Your Clothes:

    1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon
    as your OB/GYN
    confirms your pregnancy.

    2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as

    3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular
    Preparing for the Birth:

    1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

    2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that
    last time,
    breathing didn't do a thing.

    3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth
    The Layette:

    1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes,
    color-coordinate them, and
    fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

    2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are
    clean and discard
    only the ones with the darkest stains.

    3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

    1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a
    frown--you pick up
    the baby.

    2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten
    to wake your

    3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind
    the mechanical

    1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put
    it away until you
    can go home and wash and boil it.

    2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you
    squirt it off with
    some juice from the baby's bottle.

    3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it
    back in.

    1st baby: You change your ba by's diapers every hour,
    whether they need
    it or not.

    2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three
    hours, if needed.

    3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others
    start to complain
    about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

    1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics,
    Baby Swing, and Baby
    Story Hour.

    2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

    3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and
    the dry cleaner.
    Going Out:

    1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a
    sitter, you call
    home five times.

    2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you
    remember to leave a
    number where you can be reached.

    3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to
    call only if she sees
    At Home:

    1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just
    gazing at the baby.

    2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be
    sure your older
    child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

    3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding
    from the children.
    Swallowing Coins (a favorite):

    1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush
    the child to the
    hospital and demand x-rays.

    2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you
    carefully watch for
    the coin to pass.

    3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct
    it from his


    God's reward for allowing your children to live!
  2. :roflmfao::roflmfao::roflmfao::roflmfao::roflmfao:
  3. :lol: Too funny! Thanks for sharing! I've stopped at #2 but the #3 rules still apply..
  4. I've just had my second (21 days old), this made me laugh so much - it's so true!!!!!!
  5. That's so funny. It made my day reading this.. As many moms can understand.
  6. OMG Lucci! That is hilarious!:roflmfao: :roflmfao: :roflmfao:

    I'm so going to be like that with my #1. I have even thought about it.
  7. This is just too funny and so close to home, I can really relate!
  8. that was a good one :smile:
  9. Absolutely hilarious! It can't be any truer.
  10. hahahhaa! i can definitely relate to those.
  11. I am not a mother but I still thought this a freakin hilarious!
  12. That is soo funny ... I can totally relate, I have 3 little ones!
  13.'s so funny..
    I don't have a child yet, are they accurate??
  14. OMG I just loved this and it's sooo true. I see it on my sister ("children) and my best friend who'll have her 4th boy in November. I just have 1 boy but even I'm more relaxed now than I used to be.
    Ben actually had a hospital incident when he was about 6 months old:
    He was a very happy baby without screaming much but on this night he screamed the hell out of him and we couldn't calm him down so being a new mum I thought something must be really wrong with him. So we rushed to the hospital and the pediatrician made a very long examination Ben was still screaming and then he turned around to us and asked if we wanted to know which illness our little son had.
    Both hubby and me just nodded with tears in the eyes because I saw Ben in front of my inner eyes being attched to alot of injections, lying in ICU and being death near.
    So the doc presented us ben who still screamed and said: That is a very angry baby you can see it because he's crying without any tears. Congrats for having a strong willed son.
    We were so embarrassed but relieved, thanked the Doc for his help and patience and took the not screaming baby home.
  15. :lol: :lol: This is all soooo true!!:lol: :lol: I have three-very very funny! Thanks for making me laugh...