Sounds like you would have been great to hang out with!!!
Its astounding I've lived to tell about it...
Bill Cosby
- Thread starter Swanky
- Start date
Its astounding I've lived to tell about it...
Not quite sure where you assumed that (bolded)! I don't think anyone has said that here ..
I'm not saying that Bill Cosby is guilty. But keeping silent and not responding to the allegations says a lot to me.
Also, some of the most upstanding citizens that are considered role models in their public life can do some of the most vile things behind closed doors. Even the person's own family may not know what's going on.
And I'm not saying that just because Bill Cosby had an affair that he also was capable of committing sexual assault. But I do look at one's content of character. And he lost my respect years and years ago.
I'm still grateful for the positive images he created for black people on TV.
Look at my post about Anjelica Huston's comments about director Roman Polanski. She seems to have the same opinion as so many people in Hollywood do. They tend to turn a blind eye to the fact that Polanski was accused of drugging and sexually assaulting a 13-year-old girl. And so many people in Hollywood have been fighting for Polanski to be able to return to the U.S. without being taken into custody.
And look at how Woody Allen is revered, despite the allegations that he had inappropriate contact with his adopted daughter Dylan, and then married Mia Farrow's older adopted daughter Soon Yi Previn.
It's a shame.
And look at how Woody Allen is revered, despite the allegations that he had inappropriate contact with his adopted daughter Dylan, and then married Mia Farrow's older adopted daughter Soon Yi Previn.
It's a shame.
^I agree. They choose certain women for a reason too, and often "groom" them prior.
I feel like there's some victim shaming going on and it's sad
Yes.
It's a catch 22. You have people saying "Well, why didn't you get a rape kit?", essentially perpetuating the idea that the victim did something wrong, which in turn means it's less likely for someone to report rape cause they don't want to deal with the stigma.
Reporting rape has absolutely no bearing on whether a rape actually occurred. Why didn't these women report it? Doesn't friggin matter.
I don't know about the other posters here, but I get what you're saying...and I still think YOU'RE missing the point.
How many women, if you ask them right now, "Would you put yourself in a situation that could lead to rape" would say "Sure!!". I'm thinking very few. I'm pretty sure that the vast majrity of women know these "warnings" you're giving. The issue is that it's not black and white. While YOU might have seen a situation in a certain way, it doesn't mean that every situation is exactly like that and that every woman thinks the way you do. So yes, when you say "Well duh...why were you there to begin with" it IS victim blaming and doesn't help things at all. It perpetuates the idea that the woman did something wrong and that she was partly responsible for what happened. Instead, all that needs to be said is "How can I help". If you want to encourage women to come forward, that's the type of response that will work. Support, not veiled accusations.
Just to make things clear, that comment was made by Whoopie Goldberg, not someone here. I merely said that it was a good question. Bottom line, there are opposing views here (obviously), so why don't we all get off this aspect and have a truce.
That's what I'm talking about, with great emphasis on the entertainment industry. It's not as structured as a suit and tie corporate atmosphere and has an abundance of sharks and the old boys network running things.
No veiling going on here. Just telling it like it is to anyone who wants to venture into that industry. I am not trying to get anyone to come forward that's a whole other issue. What I am trying to do is wave a huge red flag about the entertainment industry and those who run it. I am trying to empower young women who want to get into it to recognize what could be in store for them. I liken it to sending someone into a jungle and letting them know there are vipers in there and how to avoid them. I'm trying to teach some common sense to those who don't understand the nature of that beast.
I said at least a couple of times already that I don't blame these girls especially at the time it happened. I already said more than once these guys are to blame, not the girls. But I won't take back that people lie. I won't take back that I don't blindly believe everything I read. Please read everything in every post I write and not twist my words into saying something I am not saying.
And yes why the hell was she in his hotel room? My mom would have asked me the same thing when I was 17. You would ask your daughter too. It's to highlight to others not to do things like that. Does that mean they deserve to be raped if they do? OF COURSE NOT! But if I can help a young girl lessen their odds I am going to do so.
Just to make things clear, that comment was made by Whoopie Goldberg, not someone here. I merely said that it was a good question. Bottom line, there are opposing views here (obviously), so why don't we all get off this aspect and have a truce.
I'm aware of who said what.
These are your words...and they are veiled victim blaming.
Also, I'm not going to get off this subject cause it's important to discuss any time rape is mentioned. I know you've clarified and said you didn't intend to imply whatever, but the fact is, your words say what they say. If you didn't intend them that way, then choose them better. And I'm not trying to be a dick about it, just matter of fact. I've said the same things before and I've also said "I'd def not blaming the victim...sorry if it came off like that" but after some very insightful women explained what I was saying, it became rather clear.
Again, there's ZERO need to question why these women didn't do what you feel they should have done when this all happened. The focus needs to be on verifying what happened, prosecuting if possible, and supporting the victims by not questioning their handling of a situation that's clearly emotionally taxing.
And again...the entertainment industry and its pitfalls have been around for YEARS. Women know what's up, but you can give warnings til your blue in the face. It won't matter. It's a hindsight thing. You admit this yourself. I'm sure you put yourself in situations that were dangerous and looking back on it, you realized you made a mistake. When it was all happening, your logical side wasn't taking control. And that's fine. That's my point. We have the best of intentions, but when the $hit hits the fan, those intentions fly right out the window. There's no need to warn or question...all that needs to happen is support. "Hey, this is a $hitty situation and I'm sorry it happened to you" is much more positive than "Well, why were you there to begin with?" One is accusatory and one is supportive. One doesn't blame and one does. If you truly want more women to feel empowered and strong enough to report things like this, the questioning of why she was where she was has to stop.
Look it is perfectly okay for me to be not only frustrated but downright angry with someone who after something bad happens, goes back for more. And more. And you are dead wrong, too many young women DO NOT know what goes on in that industry. It needs to be said. It needs to be said over and over again not only till I'm blue in the face but till I stop breathing. With your logic, we don't need to tell women the warning signs of an abusive man because afterall its all hindsight in the end, right? We just need to bandage them up afterwards. No need to warn? Are you crazy???? Not only do I believe in offering support but when your troops keep falling over and over again you damn well are going to arm them to be pre-emptive and not take any more sh*t. This is stuff that happened 30 years ago yes and I KNOW why they were scared to say anything. This is 2014. Not only do they not need to be scared anymore but they need to realize they are no longer powerless against it if they know what to look out for. Is everyone going to take heed? No. But maybe a few just might after reading.
I'm aware of who said what.
These are your words...and they are veiled victim blaming.
Also, I'm not going to get off this subject cause it's important to discuss any time rape is mentioned. I know you've clarified and said you didn't intend to imply whatever, but the fact is, your words say what they say. If you didn't intend them that way, then choose them better. And I'm not trying to be a dick about it, just matter of fact. I've said the same things before and I've also said "I'd def not blaming the victim...sorry if it came off like that" but after some very insightful women explained what I was saying, it became rather clear.
Again, there's ZERO need to question why these women didn't do what you feel they should have done when this all happened. The focus needs to be on verifying what happened, prosecuting if possible, and supporting the victims by not questioning their handling of a situation that's clearly emotionally taxing.
NO .. you misread what I said. I said that Whoopie Goldberg said the words "why wouldn't someone ..." NOT ME! I merely said that was a good question.
As I said before, I have been a victim of an attack as well (and no, I'm not going to get into specifics). I made my choice as to what I wanted to do, and yes .. others can make their own choices. I refuse to be vilified by anyone in this group; I agree with those that have simply said that they want to know all the facts before ANYONE gets charged. I'm in that camp ..
If you don't like what I have to say or others for that matter, then simply use the IGNORE button. There is no need to harass other folks on this forum because of different viewpoints.