Being competitive

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  1. I was reading another thread and it got me thinking me. Is it good quality or a bad quality to be competitive?

    I struggle with if I like this quality or not. I'm very competitive. There's a lot of stupid little things I've done just to "out do" someone or I've done things I've had NO interest in just to compete with someone I dislike. Looking back, that seems like a waste of time, but oddly enough I think my competitive nature has given me good work ethic and most of the time thought me how to make good decisions with limited time and under pressure.

    Are you competitive? Do you like or dislike this quality about yourself?

    On a side note, this will be the longest and best thread ever. JK ;)
  2. i personally think that if you're competitive with yourself, it's a great quality. but when you're competitive with others—not just in sports—it can become problematic.

    i know with myself, when i played rugby in college and then tennis, i was ridiculous i was so competitive. i have broken two tennis rackets (both cost more than $300) because i would get so angry i would smash them on the court. well, that was before my daughter was born.

    after she was born, i realized that life is too short and too precious to get upset over a stupid tennis match—especially at the end of the day, when i will not be holding that 7-figure check and huge trophy over my head. it's just a local league match.

    ever since, i play with a lot more passion than obsession. i love it, but i am much more humble now when i lose.

    i know with some people, being competitive is what drives them to succeed in their career—which is wonderful, but again, when you become so competitive it clouds your judgment overall, that can interfere with all aspects of your life as a result.
  3. Yes I'm competitive with the silliest things. I don't know if it is good or bad. I know it leads me to obsessive behavior and it is very time consuming, on the other hand it rocks when you are the best in a group. I just love the feeling when other ppl eat my dust.
  4. The weirdest thing is, in my case, I don't like always being the best. As another poster said, they played sports and wanted to win. If I play a game,sport, ect with friends, I don't mind losing. However, I'll learn a sport just to beat someone who I dislike. It's very strange.
  5. Oh I dislike everyone playing a game or a sport, or doing whatever I'm doing and want to beat them all. Whatever a group activity I'm in , I am in war mode. I can't explain it.
  6. I'm competitive to a degree, mostly in sports & academics (when I was in school). I find that now that I'm older I'm still competitive but not as obsessive/hardcore as I used to be if that makes sense.
  7. It does to me. I think when I was younger, I was more competitive. Until I was in high school and had a talk about it with a friend and realized not everyone is as competitve as I can get. :sad: Since then I think I over think abut it. Also, again might just be me, I think since I've been working full time I've meet a lot less people than I did when I was in school. It's kind of hard to be as competitive when you know less people. While I want to say I want to change, I think I've gain too much being competitive than my friends who can be down right lazy.
  8. I'm not competitive, but I am very much into personal challenge.
  9. I'm very much like lily. I've described myself as hyper-competitive. I always want to be #1. I used to compete with people in school for grades. I may not have let them know I was trying to beat them, but I was.

    I've noticed as I've become older I've learned to control it in a bit. I can talk myself down and pull back the competitiveness and let others win, kind of like picking my battles. But the drive to be the best is always there. I'm just managing it.
  10. As a fencer, I am very competitive. Sometimes I love it because it pushes me to better myself, and it teaches me discipline and respect. Other times I hate it because I end up focusing on the end goal (winning) and not the next step that will take me to that goal.
  11. I notice this, too. I wish at times I was less goal orientated. That I could enjoy the journey more. I don't know if this happens to anyone else, but I sometimes find myself "winning" at things and thinking I went through all the trouble for this. :nuts:
  12. Competitive is fine.

    Overly competitive isn't.

    The balance is different for everyone and if you don't find yours, you'll be in for trouble.
  13. Nothing wrong with being competitive with others, even extremely so, unless it interferes with your other goals and obligations. Competitiveness can provide tremendous amount of growth in addition to just markers for where you stand among others. It is everywhere. People have opinions on how good or bad something or someone is based upon previous observations whether they mean to or not, and this can stem competition.
  14. I'm not, and I wish I was. I have confidence in my abilities but have no desire to prove anything to other people. I feel like I'm missing something crucial in my life that I don't care. All the most successful people I know have extremely competitive tendencies.

    NagaJolokia - totally agree with your post. And I've seen people go through major and positive personality changes by nurturing their competitive spirit.
  15. #15 Oct 14, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2010
    the only person I compete with is myself. the goals I set, the things I want to accomplish are to improve myself as a person and as a contributing member of society. its not about being better than anyone. its about helping others raise themselves up through my example. when I compete with someone, that person is only setting the bar higher for me - its not about "beating" them. I have learned something valuable from everyone who has been better than me at something. And my wish is to pass on to others what I have learned from these people.
    Theres just something unappealing to me about wanting to "beat" someone just for the sake of being superior to them. Its just so self serving and not my style at all.