Being bullied by a buyer and I'm not sure what to do. Help!!

  1. I have been an Ebay member since 1999 and have 100% positive feedback. I sold a bag last month to a buyer (who also has 100% feedback, with one neutral for being "very difficult") who became extremely rude and abrasive before the item ever arrived. Even though I sent the bag before the estimated shipping date--the day following payment clearing-- she sent "where is it? I need a tracking number. I'm losing patience" emails when I had in fact emailed her the number 3 days prior. She also added that the cost of the bag was "no small change" or her (?? I'd never said it was...?) and that she was sorry I had a job but she was busy too (?) Then she emailed back asking "what gives" for my shipping cost. Again, this was all after the auction was over and she was waiting for the bag. I should have known what was coming.

    The next email that arrives is that the bag is "filthy" and "seen it's day." Okay, I have pictures that say otherwise. I never have and never would sell a bag like that. She's threatening negative feedback now and I'm wondering if I should just take it rather than giving her a refund (my policy states that refunds are only given for authenticity.) She also said something about my saying I'd been "delivered the bag from someone else" (??) but I'd ONLY ever said that I bought it at Saks, because that's the truth! She has been so nasty and in a way I think she just has buyer's remorse. I've never had someone be like this before... I feel like she's trying to bully me. Please advise because I don't know what to do here. Thanks :sad:

    ETA: I have happily in the past given full refunds (plus shipping) when people weren't completely happy, even if it had nothing to do with my item (example, once a buyer said they lost their job. I let them out of the sale. One time a bag didn't match a girl's shoes. I let her return the bag. I hate people spending money and not being happy, but I also have to remember I'm not a store! :shrugs: )
  2. I know exactly what you mean as I have had a similar experience. My thought on the matter- it's not worth my time in this rather difficult world to spend energy on the negatives- I just ended my transaction quickly and moved on.. by giving her her money back after I recieved the merchandise back and said cio baby!!. Go pick on someone else!!
    KinkyCurlyMe likes this.
  3. I don't think a single negative will matter one way or another. If it were me, I would not let her extort me just because she's holding feedback over my head. I too want people to be happy if I sell them something, but I also want to be happy and there are limits. You have paid selling fees, listing fees and paypal fees probably to sell the item. Within a certain time limit, you can get the paypal fees back, but you are out time and some ebay fees. There is also the issue of having to re-sell the bag. People notice when bags are re-listed (I've noticed this in another discussion board) and then the question arises whether there is something wrong with the bag and I get the impression it becomes harder to sell it. I would invite her to resell it herself and if you haven't watermarked your photos, I would offer her the option to use your photos and leave it at that.
  4. Thanks both of you for the advice. Susan-eric you make a great point about the time and money reselling factor. I'm really irked because there's been times I'm not 1000% happy with ebay purchases, but you know what, I got a bargain and I deal with it. I just feel like this person is trying to take advantage of me, and told her as much... she replied with "this is about doing what is right" and that she's busy which is why she's been so rude and abrasive.

    This totally turns me off to Ebay. I take these things very personally when I know I shouldn't... I need to just suck it up and take the negative with pride. This woman is just a :censor:
  5. Don't be threatened by neg feedback, she's just using that to try and get you to back down.

    Sounds like a classic case of buyers remorse....and to put it quite simply, she is nothing but a bully.

    She says she has no time and is too busy to be chasing this up, well, she seems to be doing ok with messaging you and making rude remarks!!:rant: So she can't be that busy...

    If i were in your shoes, i'd stand my ground - you know what you sold, she knows what she bought, which was the item, as described, in the pictures.

    IMO, she's merely trying to twist things around now AFTER the sale has gone through (which is a legally binding contract!) The question is - why? Maybe she gets off on being an 'after sale bully'!!:sad:

    Report her to Ebay for sending harrassing messages and see what happens. Good luck:flowers:
    rickipt likes this.
  6. Chicky--where does that quote come from in your post? I like it a lot!
  7. I feel your pain. It happened to me last year. I sold a brand new pair of shoes and then received an email 3 weeks later saying they were worn and not a described!
    I saved the email responses and here's what I said:
    "I am very thorough with all of my items and please do not try to insinuate that they look like they have been worn. When I purchased these they had never even been tried on. I believe you have buyers remorse, if there had truly been something wrong you would have contacted me immediately. Again I will not issue a refund and apologize if this does not suit your needs, but that is my policy."
    She then said she was going to report me to ebay and here's how I responded.
    "Feel free to report me, you have no case. The shoes were absolutely flawless and you know it, you just regret spending the money and need an excuse to get it back. I will not play along and accusing me of fraud is absolutely ridiculous. I waited days before you paid and had to send several invoices. Please do not keep wasting my valuable time and get over it. We have all made purchases we regret, but please accept the responsibility as your own and stop trying to blame someone else."
    She did not leave feedback for me and then was no longer a registered user. However, a week or two later I noticed my picture in a listing and she had re-registered under a new name and was selling them as brand new, never worn, perfect, etc and using my pictures!!!!! I knew it was her as they were both in Jamaica, NY and her new user name contained her first name.
    The worst part of all was having to read her emails, her spelling and grammar were just awful.
    Anhyow that was my worst experience on ebay. It such a shame that there are buyers who basically want something for nothing.
    I almost forgot to mention I sold a gorgeous MJ bag (retail $975) for $400. I then received an email saying I had not mentioned the dot on the suede of the inside of the interior zipper pocket in the listing! She saved $600 and was complaining about a :censor: dot. I was so frustrated I told her to send it back and that I would issue a refund. Of course she did not want to send the bag back, but a discount! I said no way and to send the bag back as the discount was the $575 + tax she had already saved!
    I received + feedback the next day, I reluctantly left + feedback too!

    Anyhow keep us posted on what happens!
  8. Take care, sorry she's being so difficult. I'd just let the idle threat of the negative's a threat to you AND to her, because you're obviously going to give her neg feedback if she gives you neg feedback. And my guess is that if she's got 100% positive feedback, she won't want that to happen. Tell her the bag was as described or offer her a slight discount if you want, then be done with it whatever she decides to do.
  9. I know it's hard but please don't let the buyer bully you. Be true to your convictions if you do not feel she deserves to be offered a refund than do not. 1 negative is not going to ruin your life, just make sure ANY feedback you leave is professional and you'll come out as the better person.
    Also, save all your correspondance with her.
  10. I tell you, it doesn't matter how long you've been selling on eBay or how many positive experiences you've had...all it takes is ONE buyer to do something like this and it knocks you for a loop! Don't let her win....don't be a victim of bullying. Cowards tend to hide behind their threatening emails, and I honestly believe that there are vindictive people that purposely purchase items specifically from sellers that value their 100% positive feedback history...only to try and pull something like this, knowing that the seller will more than likely break down to their demands just to maintain their positive selling history.

    Like was stated know exactly what you sold her and the condition it was in. It's infuriating, but not uncommon unfortunately, as I have had a similar eBay experience myself. I have three high end bags right now that I would love to list on eBay but I'm leaning more toward consigning them just so I don't have to deal with people like that! :hysteric:

    Be strong and don't back down! And remember, even if she leaves a negative, you can post a counter-comment about that negative for everyone to read. Whenever I'm considering purchasing an item from a seller that has an occasional negative but otherwise postive feedback history, and they've made the effort to explain the situation in their counter-comment, I tend to believe the seller...not the buyer who more than likely has buyers remorse or is just a bully. :yes:
    Good luck and let us know what happens!
  11. Thanks everyone for taking the time to respond... it makes me feel a lot better.

    Here's some new fun correspondence from this lovely lady:

    "Forgot to add, I am a very busy person as I know you are as well. I cannot take so much time in spending time on E Bay and the time in response. I am quick and to the point. I don't like to chit chat. I thought one of the e mails you sent said you had received this from someone. Whatever the case, that does not constitute you not trying to work everything out. As you know being a teacher, sometimes it is over reaction to the typed word on this web site (E Bay) ...
    Sorry for your miss-reading and misinterpreting messages written by me in a hurry."

    So I'm the one "overreacting." Unbelievable. I'm so glad I saved all the correspondence.
  12. UGH...I would probably tell her to refund and she can eat the shipping both ways which is paypal & ebay's policy.
    Unfortunately....and seller can refund for whatever reason they want and will probably win in a dispute.
  13. TTucker - this lady is weird. whatever you decide to do to resolve the situation, i hope you'll feel better about it in the end.
  14. TTucker, I have no doubts on your impeccable service and friendly correspondance. This lady sounds like a nutter.

    Personally, I'd rather give her a refund and write off the transaction because I would'nt put up with her behaviour. That way, she'd have nothing to complain about.

    I know it looks like I'm backing down, but I'd rather sell the bag to someone who appreciates the bag and my services.
  15. I got sent it in an email a little while ago - it's great, isn't it?:graucho:

    TTucker, i think your buyer is a touch on the loopy side.:upsidedown:
    I still wouldn't refund her though, personally.

    She knew what she was buying before she hit 'Buy it now' so it's her problem, not yours.
    You can report her for not holding up her end of the deal.

    I hope you find a solution soon!:flowers: