I want so bad to be a nurse. I love people, especially working with the elderly i volunteered with them for church for years visitin them in the nursing homes and running them errands. I enjoyed my last semester of school so much working in the extended care facility with the elderly, I enjoyed taking care of them, my teacher was so nice and taught me alot. But this semester I am in the hospital and I love the patients but my instructor has been very stern. Not once did she ever tell me anything I ever did right, she wrote paragraphs and paragraphs about what I was doing wrong, and anytime I would ask her a question she would roll her eyes at me and say "you should have already learned that". Before doing a procedue she would give me no instructions, and if I made a mistake often laugh at me in front of my other classmates or let me fumble around in front of the patient until I figured it out myself. I would say I do not know how to do this and she would say "you should know" and "if i tell you you will never remember". So I tred to read up and practice many skills on my own in the lab but inevitably becasue of my anxiety I got more and more nervous and I asked my classmates for their advise. THe two girls told me that they thought that I got "picked on more" because I was the "weakest" skillwise and because I had a "problem with my attidude" and "bad listening skills". So after that conversation we went upstairs and the same girl that was telling me I was so terrible did not know what size needle to use and I could not help it I smiled. After she figrued it out and everyone left I told her i was very sorry I did not find it funny I did not mean it, and she turned on me and shoved me into the wall. After that I started crying and went in the bathroom, I just could not take anymore, here I was and I was so anxious and my depression was getting worse and worse by the day, so I went to my instructor. I told her that I had problems with anxiety that she made me nervous when she put me on the spot in front of the patient by not showing me how to do something, that humiliating me in front of my classmates was causing us problems, and that I thought I was failing. She said I was passing a good nurse but she just told me i needed to learn to be less anxious and said "go off your anxiety and depression pills you dont need them". Then she called a group meeting and I told the other girls how much what they said hurt me, and the one girl screamed at me in my face and my teacher did notthing. So i felt she would not care about the girl shoving me either so I thought about just letting it go, but i have been getting more and more depressed by the day. So i went to the department head about all of this. I dont know if I want to follow though with anything I am scared of the reprecussions of filing a complaint. So her I am my mind so boggled at this desk. Thank you all for reading, what do you think?