Bag guilt if hubby/SO brings home most of the income?

  1. Hi there! I own 9 high-end designer bags and although I adore them, sometimes I feel guilty for having them. Why? I feel like I'm taking advantage of DH's earning power to spoil myself with these silly, extraneous, luxurious handbags. I work too, but I literally make 3% of what he does!

    Now, if I earned more and was able to contribute more to the family pot, I might not feel so bad. But as it is, I feel like I'm "taking" from DH, KWIM? He doesn't begrudge me anything (although he does caution me against going crazy with the bag-buying) and our family's finances are in good shape, but still.....

    Sigh. I guess I have issues. :rolleyes:

    Anyone else feel this way? :smile:
  2. Most women, in my area, anyway, make well below what their husbands make. I make about 30% of what he makes, but I pay for our health insurance. I never feel guilty when I want to make a big purchase. I just know our budget.
  3. I think I might have Midwestern guilt or something! Luxury items were NEVER part of my family growing up...although we were middle-class, we were thrifty and scrimped and saved everything. My entire wardrobe came from KMart (got teased for it a lot) and I even wore tons of hand-me-downs from the 1960s. Now that I'm an adult and have the financial means to buy little luxuries, I feel a little weird about it. I guess maybe growing up in a frugal family has something to do with it.
  4. I very much agree that the way a person was raised can have a lot to do with how you feel about luxury purchases. I didn't grow up with luxuries and it has taken me a while - step by step - to admit to myself that we can afford some extras now.

    As long as your finances are in order and your family is cared for, you have nothing to feel guilty about. There is such a thing as being "too responsible" and not enjoying life enough! So enjoy your bags!
  5. I agree, Kristy, the way we were brought up will always influence the way we feel about money and spending it...I think you should try to stop drawing the line between his earnings and yours and look upon it as "ours", which at the end of the day it is (even in the eyes of the law..:smile:) If your finances are healthy and your husband doesn't mind your purchases (if you keep it under control), maybe it's time to quit feeling guilty and enjoy the fact that you can afford some of the luxuries you didn't have growing up!
  6. I know what you mean, although our incomes aren't quite that far apart- of our household income, he makes about 60%, I make 40%. But we contribute 50/50 to the bills/mortgage, etc. I wanted it that way. I don't feel too guily as long as I only buy myself something expensive once in a long while, not often at all.
  7. I'm engaged but my fiance takes me on trips and pays for most of our entertainment. When we get married we're going to have a joint account with equal separate accounts for fun money. I guess I don't have any guilt about it - as a friend said it will be 'our' money, not his money. Then again I think a budget is good in these cases, as long as you're in the budget why stress?

    Besides I might be making more than my fiance one day...then he will just be my hot houseboy, okay well hot house attorney didn't sound as good!
  8. I can totally sympathize with your feelings. Although, I make MORE than my husband and control our finances pretty much 100%. I also grew up in the family that would NEVER spend money on such things, not even close. We'd go on great vacations and I was never denied anything BUT spending money on designer bags and shoes, PLEASE, absolutely NOT! So, I don't so much feel guilty about spending my husband's money, but I have that guilty feeling about owning nice things when I wasn't brought up that way.
  9. I'm a stay at home mom and I can relate to how you feel. When I had a corporate job and was single, I didn't think twice about my shopping. I never went crazy but nevertheless, I did buy a lot of designer handbags. I also saved a ton of money at the same time.

    Then I got married and had kids and the situation changed. I didn't buy any more bags, mainly b/c my lifestyle didn't warrant it. I did end up buying a few "designer" diaper bags.

    I recently started writing for an online site and also got a part time work from home job, so I am bringing in some money....but it's all going to buying bags! Ever since I found this site, I have gone a little nuts buying bags but I have finally reached the level of contentment. Also, I have sold a few of my other bags that I no longer use.

    I also tell myself I don't get paid for staying at home and raising my kids. There was a study that came out last year that projected the income of a SAHM to something like $146,000.

    I think, like anything in life, there should be a balance. When I was making 6 figures and wearing Prada and Gucci, I also did a lot of volunteer work. Now I give back to my community by striving to raise decent children, I volunteer for the local mother's organization, I write articles pro bono, I donate to the local charities.

    Do what feels right for you.
  10. ugh I feel the same way but my stiutation is different. I make all the money while he stays home with our children. Its only because I had the better job at the time and daycare is so expensive where I live.
    I only feel guilty because I spent so much money on something for myself and he didnt get to. I always try splurge on something for him because he doesn't have his own money. I'll have to agree with everyone else here about "our money" not just your or his.
  11. I have major guilt since I've become a SAHM, but I actually squabble about it with him since a) we're in pretty good shape fiscally and b) he travels at least 3-4 days a week and I'm pretty much a single parent, except on the weekends. I need to watch myself, because this blog gets my shopping urges whipped up and I hate to cause hassles in an otherwise very happy marriage.
  12. I am a student, and my DBF is the sole provider for both of us. Any bags I get are presents from him. He doesn't mind buying me the stuff, because he buys himself plenty of pricey toys (stereo stuff, computer stuff, flat screen TVs, gadgets, etc). Needless to say, I don't feel a whole lot of guilt.
  13. You totally deserve nice bags :smile:
  14. I kinda feel this way. I felt SO guilty when he bought me and extra special christmas gift :sad:
  15. i think that every person needs to look at what their financial situation is...if you're in debt up to your eyeballs and you can't afford it, then you don't get the bag (do as i say...not as i DO!) but, if you can afford them by doing what you do as a wife mother and everything else, go for it!