my parents, mainly my MOM totally loves to brag about my sister, she's the only one in the family thruout that's went to an IVY league school. and my cousin is trying to become a doctor but so far isn't getting very far with applications. so there's a lot of dirt going on in my family about who's kids is doin what and who's got a promotion etc. very very competitive. my mom has been bugging me to either go back to school and get more degrees or find another job with a better "title" because my job just isn't making her happy enough to brag about. nice huh? well sorry if i actually like my job and i like my life the way it is. she sees it as being complacent and lazy. hate asian families.
Asian parents
- Thread starter Blair Waldorf
- Start date
I'm not Asian and I certainly don't want to offend and sterotype a people, so my comments are NOT generalized. But, there was an Asian girl in my small high school who irked me to no end. We wouldn't be two seconds out of an exam and she's all "So what do you think you got?!"
Her mom was always in my and my family's business, trying to keep up with what clubs I was in, etc. I always felt a little bad for her because she didn't seem to have any sort of social life. And as into my books as I was, I definitely had a rockin' good time in high school 
. I just never saw the need for all the competition, clearly the world is so designed that we could both do well, I ended up going to Harvard for college and she Stanford 
. I wonder how she's doing, I hope the poor girl didn't get burnt out.I think its part of the Asian culture of family pride. Your accomplishments reflect on the family as a whole not just you as an individual. Especially, with immigrant parents given the difficulty in language and culture to succeed, so to speak, in American society. Their children are the first markers to show others especially other immigrants how far they have come in their new country.
I think my Korean parents are a bit atypical in this area. They'll be honest when people ask but they don't advertise it around. Some of my parents' close Korean friends who are like aunts/uncles to me have even come to my graduations. However, in terms of matchmaking/relationships I've seen parents including my mom be a bit snobby. My cousin(the son of my mom's twin sister) and my brother are both orthopedic surgeons with girlfriends that are a med student and event planner respectively. Boy, do the comments fly when they and their friends talk about my cousin having a "good match" and my brother having a not so good match. . .
I think my Korean parents are a bit atypical in this area. They'll be honest when people ask but they don't advertise it around. Some of my parents' close Korean friends who are like aunts/uncles to me have even come to my graduations. However, in terms of matchmaking/relationships I've seen parents including my mom be a bit snobby. My cousin(the son of my mom's twin sister) and my brother are both orthopedic surgeons with girlfriends that are a med student and event planner respectively. Boy, do the comments fly when they and their friends talk about my cousin having a "good match" and my brother having a not so good match. . .
tpa does she still go to Stanford? I wonder if I know her haha. That'd be interesting. And yuck...I don't even want to get into the matchmaker stuff.
my 2 cents:
my parents learnt early on never to brag about my brother or i... the asian community in the town i grew up in was very small - i mean very small... my parents were probably 1 of 3 chinese families that lived there... but as the years rolled on more and more asians moved into my hometown and suddenly people started being nosey etc.. GOSSIP GOSSIP thats what started to happen frequently... My Mum esp. became quite tight lipped about what my brother and i got up too... she said, "look don't worry about what everyone else is saying... your dad and i know you're both good kids"... so everytime someone asked my mum or my dad about us, they would have their standard answers, "yup the kids are good" "oh they're doing something at university - but not too sure what, but they're happy" "oh helen is doing good thanks for asking" blah blah... its quite funny but all they wanted to do is get goss and say their kids are better etc...
I never graduated from University with a degree but my brother did, my parents are sad that i never got my degree but they're way too happy now 'coz they can see what i'm doing is great... teaching kids to sell drugs WOOP WOOP PHARMACY!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
my parents learnt early on never to brag about my brother or i... the asian community in the town i grew up in was very small - i mean very small... my parents were probably 1 of 3 chinese families that lived there... but as the years rolled on more and more asians moved into my hometown and suddenly people started being nosey etc.. GOSSIP GOSSIP thats what started to happen frequently... My Mum esp. became quite tight lipped about what my brother and i got up too... she said, "look don't worry about what everyone else is saying... your dad and i know you're both good kids"... so everytime someone asked my mum or my dad about us, they would have their standard answers, "yup the kids are good" "oh they're doing something at university - but not too sure what, but they're happy" "oh helen is doing good thanks for asking" blah blah... its quite funny but all they wanted to do is get goss and say their kids are better etc...
I never graduated from University with a degree but my brother did, my parents are sad that i never got my degree but they're way too happy now 'coz they can see what i'm doing is great... teaching kids to sell drugs WOOP WOOP PHARMACY!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Ha ha, I graduated college in 2003, so I'm assuming she did too.
It's funny, even though some people can be on the extreme side, this thread has made me think about and appreciate how many Asian parents really value education whereas some of us other lugs take it for granted sometimes
ush: The fellow who does my tailoring is Korean and he's always beaming about what a "smart girl" I am and trying to give me little free stuff (like a t shirt or something), it's the cutest thing 
.
Asian here!
As for me, my parents are non-traditional.I dont think I ever remember my parents yelling at my bro and I to do our hw or finish our stuff before we can play. My parents never spanked us---which is pretty rare for Asian parents NOT to dO!!!----My parents mostly asked us what we REALLY wanted to do and told us to go for it. IT was never pressure or any super strict rules. We still had curfew n stuff like that but they were the kind of parents who LISTNED to their kids more then tell us what we DON'T watn to do.
My brother & I now are under 25, and are completely independant.
Did I go off topic? lol
As for me, my parents are non-traditional.I dont think I ever remember my parents yelling at my bro and I to do our hw or finish our stuff before we can play. My parents never spanked us---which is pretty rare for Asian parents NOT to dO!!!----My parents mostly asked us what we REALLY wanted to do and told us to go for it. IT was never pressure or any super strict rules. We still had curfew n stuff like that but they were the kind of parents who LISTNED to their kids more then tell us what we DON'T watn to do.
My brother & I now are under 25, and are completely independant.
Did I go off topic? lol
Where are all the crazy-ass parents at? I know they're around, maybe their kids are too busy studying to care about purses. Just thought of a story - this girl my family knows messed something up and didn't get into Harvard or something like that. Her mom threw a fit and ultimately DISFIGURED her own daughter. The parents are now divorced (thank goodness, I have to say) and the daughter just got into Harvard law. Smart on her own and I doubt her psycho mom helped her in any way.
She threw something at her face and she had to go to ER and everything. I forget what it was. Something glass I think.
that is wrong!!! feel sorry for the girl..I know a lot of Asian parents are very strict with kids' education..btw, I'm Malaysian but ethnically Chinese...my parents were more relaxed...they never forced us to study in fact it was I who was just competitive on my own...I remember I will try to lock myself in room to study and mom will say "COme outside to watch TV!" HAHA funny huh?
Hmm..
I'm not asian but thought I'd add something my son told me about his friend who is Korean.
My son and his friend both get very good grades, and both are in GATE. (Btw my sons in 7th gr.) Neway...he told me his friends parents are very strict with his grades. That if his friend gets below an A on his report card that he's restricted from no TV, etc. Even for a B.
If he does something bad, that his parents make him hold a bucket of water over his head for a long time my son says.
When my son tells me these things I feel sorry for his friend. He is such a good kid.
I remember when I enrolled my son at the middle school this yr. His friend was there alone trying to register. Everyone else had a parent there with them. There were a bunch of papers the parent had to fill out, etc. My sons friend seemed to be confused as to what lines to get into for all the different things you had to do to get enrolled. We walked up to him and he was in the wrong line. Poor kid.
I then told him what he had to do and where to go.
I'm not asian but thought I'd add something my son told me about his friend who is Korean.
My son and his friend both get very good grades, and both are in GATE. (Btw my sons in 7th gr.) Neway...he told me his friends parents are very strict with his grades. That if his friend gets below an A on his report card that he's restricted from no TV, etc. Even for a B.
If he does something bad, that his parents make him hold a bucket of water over his head for a long time my son says.
When my son tells me these things I feel sorry for his friend. He is such a good kid.
I remember when I enrolled my son at the middle school this yr. His friend was there alone trying to register. Everyone else had a parent there with them. There were a bunch of papers the parent had to fill out, etc. My sons friend seemed to be confused as to what lines to get into for all the different things you had to do to get enrolled. We walked up to him and he was in the wrong line. Poor kid. I then told him what he had to do and where to go.
Okay the parental pressure is pretty bad but I'm convinced this is untrue:
If most A, B, C students have these good jobs, then only people who fail mostly end up with crappy jobs?
What are the crappy jobs?
Jobs parents don't want their kids to do.
(also non-jobs like Drug dealing, prostitution)
Sorry if I offended anyone by saying "crappy jobs". I meant that from your list, the A, B, And C students all have jobs that parents are usually proud of.
(also non-jobs like Drug dealing, prostitution)
Sorry if I offended anyone by saying "crappy jobs". I meant that from your list, the A, B, And C students all have jobs that parents are usually proud of.
What are the crappy jobs?