Are You Ready For........ Extreme Dating ?

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  1. Always have more than one man on the go. Never do the chasing. Welcome to the ruthless world of romance - New York-style.

    Though I haven't had as much sex as Carrie Bradshaw and I'm definitely not as thin, I have been dating Manhattan-style for most of my adult life.

    I am a 35-year-old showbusiness columnist and an American who lives in London. I have tried out my methods extensively on British men, with great results.

    Manhattan is the Olympics of dating. It's a city where men are famously unwilling to commit and people juggle multiple dating partners. The women who manage to thrive have learned important lessons that I can share with you.

    [​IMG] It's time to date the Manhattan way

    As a nation where dating is often forgotten in the desperate rush to get someone to commit to you as your boyfriend, the Brits just don't know how to keep things casual without turning into a crazed stalker or feeling like a tart.

    Follow my advice and you'll learn how to win at the dating game.

    British dilemma: How do I get his attention and what do I do once I've got it?
    Manhattan rule: Go get him, but make him think he got you

    It's not hard to get someone's attention - making a fool of yourself is easy, and he will certainly notice that. The important thing is getting the right kind of attention.

    The more attractive a man is, the less available you ought to be. Rule of thumb: the office geek - smile, be accessible and send all kinds of positive signals, including broad suggestions about meeting up some time after work.

    Male model type: never make the first move or give signals other than politeness. He will assume you like him, no matter what you do. Be casual and let him work.

    My friend Amanda, a 28-year-old TV producer, has a great technique. She was at a big charity event in New York when she spotted a man who was just her type.

    She tried to make eye contact, without success. At one point, she overheard someone call him Paul. As the night wore on, she was determined to meet him, but reluctant to make the first move (which, by the way, almost never works with men - they like to believe they are in control).

    Instead, she took a big breath and approached him smiling. "Paul, right? How are you?" He looked her up and down and grinned, though he looked confused. "Hey, how are you?"

    "Fabulous," she replied. "Listen, I have to confess, I have no idea how I know you."

    He laughed. "Me neither. I am racking my brain, but you do look familiar" (never underestimate the power of suggestion).
    After chatting for an hour, they left the party together. He began calling her and asked her out. They dated for a few months and over a boozy dinner she confessed she had pretended to know him. He was flattered and delighted.
    [​IMG] Ashley Pearson

    You don't have to be as aggressive as this. Sometimes it's just about making eye contact and smiling broadly.

    British men need more encouragement than New Yorkers and are often afraid to approach women. As an American with an open face and big grin, men constantly tell me they felt safe coming up to me - and that's why it happened.

    Give the guys a break - it's not easy making the first move.

    So now you have his attention, how do you keep his interest? It's an unfortunate truth that men love it if you can cook for them.

    NYC girls don't cook - most, like me, use their ovens for extra shoe storage. In Manhattan, you can order virtually any dish and have it delivered in time to appear as if you cooked it.

    In Britain, it's not always that easy. So, it's essential that you learn to cook one or two things, especially meat. Steak, shepherd's pie, roast lamb. He'll love you for it - and you can get takeaways the rest of the week.

    Also go Brazilian. Waxing is the only way to go and you'll never regret it. Men love it and so will you.

    If you are concerned about pain, take two shots of vodka and a Nurofen beforehand. That's been the secret of Manhattan girls for years. It certainly takes the edge off.

    British dilemma: What do I do on the date? Manhattan rule: Let a man be a man
  2. Manhattan rule: Nothing good comes easy, so why should you?

    When a man cancels a date, let him make it up to you. And it is not acceptable, unless he is in hospital or trapped under something heavy, to cancel a date via text.

    Under no circumstances track him down to set up the next date. Remember, you are not chasing him.

    Don't tie yourself down to one man until you are sure you really like him. In the meantime, date often and date around - don't go exclusive until you're ready, and don't let him have all your evenings.

    Keep an air of mystery. You are busy, you have your own life - let him fit into yours.

    By following this technique, I landed a date with an underwear model. It was a Tuesday when I walked into the green room for the TV show This Morning and someone special caught my eye.

    Actually, he'd caught the eye of every woman in the building. He was one of the best-looking men I'd ever seen - dark hair, dark eyes, great smile, 6 foot body cut out of marble.

    His name was Jack and he wasn't wearing a wedding ring. We spoke briefly, he seemed shy - as, surprisingly, most great-looking men are.

    I felt sure he wasn't the type of man, even if he did like me, to hit on a stranger while sitting on a blue flannel couch at 10.30am, flanked by a child psychology expert and a mum who knitted to relieve tension.

    However, I discovered from one of the producers that he would be on the show all week - I was due back in the studio on Wednesday.

    As I said goodbye, I was breezy, distant even - there was no lingering making small talk hoping he'd ask for my number. I knew something he didn't - we'd be seeing each other again the next day.

    On our second meeting, he asked for my number. He texted two hours later, suggesting several places to meet up, that night or one of the following three nights.

    I said no to all of them, explaining I was busy. I suggested we meet up a week later as it was the first night I had free. He seemed surprised and a little frustrated, but agreed.

    The thing was I really did fancy him, but if I had jumped at a date with him - especially as he must have had a queue of women far sexier than me at his beck and call - what message would that send?

    I know I was taking a risk that by the next week he would have lost interest and lined up a date with a 20-year old glamour model, but would I really want a man who can't sustain interest in me for more than 24 hours without constant reassurance?

    I had desperately wanted to give him my phone number in case he was too shy or hesitant to ask me for it, but I have learned the hard way that a man is far more likely to call if he asks for your number.

    Being unavailable, especially at first, almost always works - in my case, it certainly did. Jack had plenty of women throwing themselves at him, but with me he had to work for it - which is what men, and women, want.
    British dilemma: Is he the man for me?
    Manhattan rule: Know what you're looking for

    There are three levels of problems in a relationship: glitch, core challenge and dealbreaker.

    A glitch is a minor annoyance - snoring, nose hair, loves South Park.

    A core challenge is a tough problem, but you can deal with it - for me, a man who loves camping, smokes or wants me to go running with him on Saturday morning.

    A deal-breaker is that's it, over and out. (Bisexual, secret drug addiction, or doesn't like to eat.)

    The key is to find out what yours are, so you know what you can and can't live with.

    Is smoking a deal-breaker or a glitch? Better to know before you fall in love with the guy buying cigarettes next to you in the queue at the newsagent.

    Dating's seven deadly sins

    Do not constantly ask what he did last night - it sounds needy. He'll tell you if he wants to.
    Stop calling him all the time. Women love the phone; men do not.
    Don't dig into his dating past. If he says something good about his ex, you'll hate it; if he slags them off, you'll worry he'll say the same about you.
    Don't give up your life or your friends. You had a life when you met and he liked that.
    Limit your Defining The Relationship conversations. Every man lives in dread of hearing "Where are we going?"
    Don't ask if you look fat, are pretty, if he loves you or any other question where there is only one possible answer. If he is consistently selfish, inconsiderate or mean, this is who he is. Stop making excuses for him.

  3. I just want to know where all the good looking single men are. They definitely aren't in New Orleans.
  4. The rest of the article was hit or miss, but these points....yes. Read and learn.