Always have more than one man on the go. Never do the chasing. Welcome to the ruthless world of romance - New York-style.
Though I haven't had as much sex as Carrie Bradshaw and I'm definitely not as thin, I have been dating Manhattan-style for most of my adult life.
I am a 35-year-old showbusiness columnist and an American who lives in London. I have tried out my methods extensively on British men, with great results.
Manhattan is the Olympics of dating. It's a city where men are famously unwilling to commit and people juggle multiple dating partners. The women who manage to thrive have learned important lessons that I can share with you.
It's time to date the Manhattan way
As a nation where dating is often forgotten in the desperate rush to get someone to commit to you as your boyfriend, the Brits just don't know how to keep things casual without turning into a crazed stalker or feeling like a tart.
Follow my advice and you'll learn how to win at the dating game.
British dilemma: How do I get his attention and what do I do once I've got it?
Manhattan rule: Go get him, but make him think he got you
It's not hard to get someone's attention - making a fool of yourself is easy, and he will certainly notice that. The important thing is getting the right kind of attention.
The more attractive a man is, the less available you ought to be. Rule of thumb: the office geek - smile, be accessible and send all kinds of positive signals, including broad suggestions about meeting up some time after work.
Male model type: never make the first move or give signals other than politeness. He will assume you like him, no matter what you do. Be casual and let him work.
My friend Amanda, a 28-year-old TV producer, has a great technique. She was at a big charity event in New York when she spotted a man who was just her type.
She tried to make eye contact, without success. At one point, she overheard someone call him Paul. As the night wore on, she was determined to meet him, but reluctant to make the first move (which, by the way, almost never works with men - they like to believe they are in control).
Instead, she took a big breath and approached him smiling. "Paul, right? How are you?" He looked her up and down and grinned, though he looked confused. "Hey, how are you?"
"Fabulous," she replied. "Listen, I have to confess, I have no idea how I know you."
He laughed. "Me neither. I am racking my brain, but you do look familiar" (never underestimate the power of suggestion).
After chatting for an hour, they left the party together. He began calling her and asked her out. They dated for a few months and over a boozy dinner she confessed she had pretended to know him. He was flattered and delighted.
Ashley Pearson
You don't have to be as aggressive as this. Sometimes it's just about making eye contact and smiling broadly.
British men need more encouragement than New Yorkers and are often afraid to approach women. As an American with an open face and big grin, men constantly tell me they felt safe coming up to me - and that's why it happened.
Give the guys a break - it's not easy making the first move.
So now you have his attention, how do you keep his interest? It's an unfortunate truth that men love it if you can cook for them.
NYC girls don't cook - most, like me, use their ovens for extra shoe storage. In Manhattan, you can order virtually any dish and have it delivered in time to appear as if you cooked it.
In Britain, it's not always that easy. So, it's essential that you learn to cook one or two things, especially meat. Steak, shepherd's pie, roast lamb. He'll love you for it - and you can get takeaways the rest of the week.
Also go Brazilian. Waxing is the only way to go and you'll never regret it. Men love it and so will you.
If you are concerned about pain, take two shots of vodka and a Nurofen beforehand. That's been the secret of Manhattan girls for years. It certainly takes the edge off.
British dilemma: What do I do on the date? Manhattan rule: Let a man be a man
Though I haven't had as much sex as Carrie Bradshaw and I'm definitely not as thin, I have been dating Manhattan-style for most of my adult life.
I am a 35-year-old showbusiness columnist and an American who lives in London. I have tried out my methods extensively on British men, with great results.
Manhattan is the Olympics of dating. It's a city where men are famously unwilling to commit and people juggle multiple dating partners. The women who manage to thrive have learned important lessons that I can share with you.
As a nation where dating is often forgotten in the desperate rush to get someone to commit to you as your boyfriend, the Brits just don't know how to keep things casual without turning into a crazed stalker or feeling like a tart.
Follow my advice and you'll learn how to win at the dating game.
British dilemma: How do I get his attention and what do I do once I've got it?
Manhattan rule: Go get him, but make him think he got you
It's not hard to get someone's attention - making a fool of yourself is easy, and he will certainly notice that. The important thing is getting the right kind of attention.
The more attractive a man is, the less available you ought to be. Rule of thumb: the office geek - smile, be accessible and send all kinds of positive signals, including broad suggestions about meeting up some time after work.
Male model type: never make the first move or give signals other than politeness. He will assume you like him, no matter what you do. Be casual and let him work.
My friend Amanda, a 28-year-old TV producer, has a great technique. She was at a big charity event in New York when she spotted a man who was just her type.
She tried to make eye contact, without success. At one point, she overheard someone call him Paul. As the night wore on, she was determined to meet him, but reluctant to make the first move (which, by the way, almost never works with men - they like to believe they are in control).
Instead, she took a big breath and approached him smiling. "Paul, right? How are you?" He looked her up and down and grinned, though he looked confused. "Hey, how are you?"
"Fabulous," she replied. "Listen, I have to confess, I have no idea how I know you."
He laughed. "Me neither. I am racking my brain, but you do look familiar" (never underestimate the power of suggestion).
After chatting for an hour, they left the party together. He began calling her and asked her out. They dated for a few months and over a boozy dinner she confessed she had pretended to know him. He was flattered and delighted.
You don't have to be as aggressive as this. Sometimes it's just about making eye contact and smiling broadly.
British men need more encouragement than New Yorkers and are often afraid to approach women. As an American with an open face and big grin, men constantly tell me they felt safe coming up to me - and that's why it happened.
Give the guys a break - it's not easy making the first move.
So now you have his attention, how do you keep his interest? It's an unfortunate truth that men love it if you can cook for them.
NYC girls don't cook - most, like me, use their ovens for extra shoe storage. In Manhattan, you can order virtually any dish and have it delivered in time to appear as if you cooked it.
In Britain, it's not always that easy. So, it's essential that you learn to cook one or two things, especially meat. Steak, shepherd's pie, roast lamb. He'll love you for it - and you can get takeaways the rest of the week.
Also go Brazilian. Waxing is the only way to go and you'll never regret it. Men love it and so will you.
If you are concerned about pain, take two shots of vodka and a Nurofen beforehand. That's been the secret of Manhattan girls for years. It certainly takes the edge off.
British dilemma: What do I do on the date? Manhattan rule: Let a man be a man
