Are you also friends with your SO's friends?

IntlSet

IntlSet

Bonjour!
Jan 29, 2006
12,369
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#1
I've just noticed a trend throughout my relationships: I've never been able to feel close (or even very friendly) with my boyfriends' friends. I'm not sure why this is -- I certainly don't blame any of them, especially since this is a constant reoccurance with every relationship! I've tried to pick my brain over why this is. I'm trying hard not to be standoffish, but I just can't feel that natural chemistry with them that seems like the stuff friendship is made of! It always feels forced, with each group of diverse individuals, so I know the problem is all me!

Are you friends with your boyfriend's or husband's friends? I feel like that's the norm and I'm just odd!
 
#2
Most of my bf's friends are in NY so its hard to be good friends, although some of them are my friends on facebook lol. He likes all my friends though and they like him so we don't have a problem all hanging out. It hasn't gotten to the point where they hang out without me though.

In most of my past relationships I've been able to be super close with my bf's friends, which is really helpful in a lot of ways. I just found a common interest, and have always been somewhat of a people person. There were of course the ones who just wouldnt have it, but in my mind it was like screw them. Not my loss.

Do you have anything in common with his friends? Its hard when there is no natural chemistry. But I dont think its impossible :smile:
 
#3
I'm good friends with my boyfriends guy friends. I use to be a tomboy and i'm really outgoing and friendly so it's easy to get along with guys. They usually just take it or leave it kind of thing. They don't pitter patter on what someone's intentions are. "why is she being so nice" kind of thing.

However, i've made threads before, about my boyfriends close girl friend. He doesn't have very many but she has been good friends with him since early high school. She thinks she has the right to ask "so, how is your relationship going" and give her insight when it isn't asked.

I am nice to her, but I don't like her one bit. :smile:
 
#5
I don't think you're odd at all! It really depends though..I just mainly hang out with them when we all have dinners but other than that..not really...so yeah..I'm not really friends with them either.
 
#6
It's gonna sound weird, but my BF doesn't really have any friends. He has people that he socializes with at work and so forth, and he has positive relationships with the guys at the ballpark and so forth, but as far as hanging out with the guys and doing guy stuff, or gathering together with the guys to watch a game or play cards, or just go out or something, he doesn't really do that type of thing. In three years he's had ONE friend come over to the house, and that was a former roommate and coworker from a few years ago. So he doesn't have anyone for me to try to get along with. I'm pretty much the same way. He and I keep to ourselves a lot. If we go out to eat, or to the movies, or to a club, or whatever, for the past three years or so we've only done that with each other.
 
#7
I have no BF now but when I was with my ex I was friends with his friends. That's part of what made it so hard to break up with him. I was actually friends with him before we were bf/gf and so we had a lot of friends in common.
 
#8
Even after over five and a half years of dating, there is not one I can confidently call my own friend. There are some I like and enjoy the company of, there are some that I don't mind, and there are some that I sincerely dislike. Occasionally it bothers me that I'm not really close with any of them, but I get over it fairly quickly. I wish I could relate to some of them better, but I can't, and I can't force it. I'm pleasant around them though... don't know what else I'd do.
 
#11
In most of my relationships, I have always tried to make friends with my SO's friends. Sometimes, it happens, other times, it does not. With my DH, we have the same group of friends that we hang out with all the time here in New Orleans. A lot of his friends have moved out of the city or state so I don't see them as much. But when they do come into town, we all get along. It is actually really nice. My group of friends has really grown since I met my DH.
 
#12
I'm friends with my SO's friends. Of course their first allegiance is to the BF but we still talk via email or phone a little bit outside of the BF's presence.
 
#13
I wouldn't say I was ever friends with any of my ex's friends. I never called them up to hang out or anything... so no, they weren't really friends. Sure, we'd all hang out and whatnot... but as far as just me calling up one of them.. nope.
 
#15
I'm pretty good friends with my SO's friends. I get a long well with them and hang out with them when he's around. I don't normally talk to them otherwise.

On the other hand, my SO doesn't relate well with my friends at all.
 
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