Anyone... had a baby "alone"? Or know someone who did?

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  1. I was talking with my friend the other day... and we discussed the things we absolutely want in our lives. For her... it was a career. And, possibly marriage. But, she wants the career more.

    For me, it was children. And, again... possibly marriage. But, I want the children more. We discussed the idea of, "What if we never get married?" I decided that I could NOT go without children just because I never find that special someone. We talked about going it alone. In other words, artificial insemination.

    Now, don't get me wrong... I'm 22, and I'm in a relationship. I'm young and I'm not even graduated from college yet. But, for the forseeable future... there is no engagement ring coming by way. I KNOW I have LOTS of time... but, of course... the thought still enters my mind.

    Has anyone had a baby alone? Or known someone who has? If so, what are your thoughts? And... if not... I'd love to hear your thoughts on this anyway!
     
  2. I am a mom in a marriage and let me tell you even with there being 2 of us I feel overwhelmed sometimes. Single mothers are AMAZING! I don't know how they do it.
     
  3. i'm going to be a single mother. the father just decided he doesn't want anything to do with the baby last week. i'm hoping he will change his mind.
    i graduated from college 4 years ago, working full time and will soon be a single mother. now my suggestion is to graduation from college, focus on your career and then decide if you still want to be a baby...
     
  4. You're 22, don't think about this yet. Finish school, get settled in your career, go travel and just let life take it's natural course as designed for you. Go shopping!
     
  5. Oh boy you should have been around here when I was pregnant. I did it all alone, every ob/gyn visit, labor and delivery, everything. You can do it if you set your mind to it. But whether you decided to do it alone or it was out of your control, emotions of "aloneness" do come.
     
  6. My mother :smile: She had me when she was my age now, and raised me by herself because she left my father when I was a baby. I think she did a great job, but please make sure you have everything settled and straight before having a baby. It can be hard, esp. financially!
     
  7. I'm a single mom and have a circle of wonderful friends who help me out with babysitting when I need a break. Motherhood is hard PERIOD but I'm doing it pretty well on my own. Kayla is my little me and my heart, I cannot imagine my life without her. I felt like you, that I had to be a mother although Kayla was not conceived by ai. I just think GOD make the best (Kayla) out of a bad situation (my prior relationship). She was a beautiful, beautiful surprise and gift from God and I am forever grateful.

    Let me tell you something, I know a lot of my friends who are SINGLE MOMS and are married, their partners do not help out or do anything. YOU CAN do anything. Good luck, whatever you decide.
     
  8. I agree, when I found out I was pregnant with Kayla I did the math several times and was grateful that I could afford a baby on my own.

    Now I'm 37 and make pretty good money but if I was 20 this would be SO MUCH HARDER.
     
  9. I remember how hard things were for you with your ex, my relationship had already ended and since he didn't support my having Kayla it was an easy break for me. I did not have that stress and my pregnancy was a very happy time although I did not have a "partner" in a traditional sense.

    My 2 best friends acted as my partner in terms of some doctor's visits, there in labor and delivery with me. I think you are very strong to do it totally alone. :hugs:
     

  10. Just another thought, sometimes things don't go in perfect order.

    Fall in love with the right man, have a baby, live happily every after.

    I am seriously dating (we're talking marriage) a single dad of 2 who I met on a christian dating site. We have so much in common, it's scary. His children's mother left him when they were in diapers. I feel like the man of my dreams CAME AFTER Kayla. Don't be despaired, women do have a biological clock unfortunately and we can't just wait forever to have children. I know a single mom who adopted her kids after she waited too long, you can be a mom either naturally or through adoption.

    Let me tell you Kayla is my greatest joy in life
     
  11. Wow, you have truly amazing friends! :tup::tup:
     
  12. I agree that 22 is too young to even be considering becoming a single mother. Yikes, you have years before you need to worry about your "biological clock"! I am a mother of three, but I am married to a very helpful husband. Personally, I cannot IMAGINE doing it alone. My dh travels sometimes, and that is hard enough. But like pps have said, I suppose you do what you have to do.

    Most single mothers do an exceptional job and are fantastic parents, but the majority of them did not choose to become mothers alone. They didn't plan to have a child without a partner. I don't think you should be planning that, either. Cross that bridge when (IF) you come to it, maybe when you are in your late 30's without a serious relationship. It is likely that you will find a wonderful partner in the intervening years instead, though.
     
  13. Yes, I do, they are truly a blessing to me. All of my family is in New York so my friends in California are my 2nd family.
     
  14. My mom was a single mom when my Dad died when I was 9 because she never remarried. You never know how strong you will have to be, the human spirit is capable of so much.
     
  15. Thank you so much for the stories, ladies. We truly have some amazing people here.

    I know I have plenty of time... but, sometimes things don't go like the poem, "first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage."

    As women, sometimes we have to go out and get what we want. And, I know that I won't be able to reproduce forever.