I do. I cant go out or live life because its not "what we do"
^ hm, do you mean the culture you live in or the culture you come from?
I will move to a very new culture, and I think in some ways it is restrictive. some tell me it is very restrictive, but then they haven't lived there so don't know. What i want to do is in line with the culture so I obviously don't care.
I can only advise this: people will say to not care, go against it, etc etc and surely this has been done plenty of times because otherwise there wouldn't have been changes in societies. if you are the confrontational type - great! go ahead and advance the limits. but everyone will realise eventually that some rules/ restrictions are there to stay, no matter changes. like, we all believe thou shall not cheat to be a good rule, even though we don't all follow, kwim? so personally I take culture like a set of rules I manage within. how I manage is my business but I observe the most important rules of that society, kwim? i try to make it work to my advantage as well, but it is difficult to explain. it doesn't work for everything either of course. this is just my general philosophy (I used to be a full-on fighter but i found other ways of managing now)
I refuse to be constricted by anything! I do as I please, and I could care less what others think as long as I'm happy. Granted, I live in the US, where this is the norm, but I know other places are different. I'm not saying to be disrespectful to others, but you should go out and live life, because you only get one chance!
I'm not constricted to my culture. I have a big respect for my culture and people, but I don't limit myself.
I am Asian (Malaysian/Chinese to be specific). But just because I'm Malaysian and Chinese doesn't mean I'm going to do what they do in Malaysia or China. I'm in Canada so I do what makes me happy. And I'm so blessed to have parents that strongly believe that as well.
I've probably done everything that a traditional Malaysian/Chinese girl wouldn't do. Haha!
Nope, I do exactly what I want within reason.Lol! Do you know why? Because over the years things change, so why do things because its the done thing and in years to come it becomes the norm, typical thing is now people are having babies younger and younger - 15 years ago, it was such a no no, now its not too much of a problem. I just think you should do what you want as long as it does not hurt anyone. interesting question.x
I feel like culture has always come between me and my mom.
She is Korean and was raised in Korea.
My dad is half-American, half-French (yes, I'm a mutt lol) and was raised in the Air Force, so he spent a lot of time traveling with my grandparents to different places.
When I was born, I was raised in America, in American culture, and am an American citizen.
My mother came over to the US for a while but she never really adapted to American culture like others do. After my parents divorced, she moved back to South Korean and remarried.
Since Korean and American culture is different, we never really stood eye to eye on things and I think she never really could understand me.
Children in South Korea have a very high standard set for them in academics, artistic abilities (instrument playing, etc.), and attitude toward their elders. As anyone who has been exposed to both cultures (and I have to say that I have only been exposed to the South Korean culture only a little since I've only visited there 2 times for a few weeks each and the 2 visits were set years apart) would know, the American standard for kids is well, lower (I'm not saying that in a bad way).
After my mother moved back to SK, I was relieved. I still communicate with her through e-mail and phone and she once or twice a year comes and visits me here in the US but I think that our relationship is better long distant.
just curious, what culture do you speak of and do you live in the US? and very sorry you feel constricted. thats sad.
Having a baby as a teenager isn't living your life, it's ruining your life (and the baby's life,too). Some things shouldn't change, and there should still be some shame in having a baby while you are but a baby yourself. And in the circles I travel in, it's still a no-no.
oh boy here we go. I think this depends on your lifestyle and where you live, your maturity level, etc. Afterall, my grandmother was married at 13 and started having kids right away. She had 8 altogether, her life was not ruined and they were a very loving, wonderful family that all stayed together thru thick and thin. Sure it was a different time but human beings are human beings and it can be done. Never say never I always say....
I can completely relate to you. My mother is Korean and was raised in South Korea. When she came to the US to study for med school she met my father who is British. Somehow my very strict () Korean grandparents allowed their marriage, although they would have preferred my mother to marry another Korean man. When I grew up my parents had many discrepancies on how to raise me. My mother had higher expectations than my father, not that he didn't have high expectations already. She just wanted me to play piano, take art lessons, etc. My dad respected that but also convinced my mother to let me have a say in what I wanted to participate in. Thankfully I could voice my opinion and I only took piano lessons. It would have been crazy with art lessons and other activities. I was so busy!
Not saying that respect isn't taught in American culture, however it is much more emphasized in Korean culture usually, IMHO.
Anyway, I feel very lucky to be able to experience two different cultures. I think it's quite funny hearing my parents talk to each other. One speaking with a heavy Korean accent and one speaking with a heavy British accent.
Ouch. That's harsh.
Ok, I will make it clearer what I am saying -
15 years ago, it was not unheard of for families to hide their children away if they had a baby - due to the "shame" it brought to their family and name. (I am not agreeing with this by the way, just telling it how I see it) NOW, where I live if a girl has a baby at 15 - 20 it is not too much of a big deal, it is still frowned upon but not to the extent it was 15 years ago, I had a friend that has a baby at 15 and the baby thinks his mother is his sister.
Anyway, I think quite a few young mother would disagree with it ruining their lives and quite a few would agree with you. Society changes, so why follow the path, if it is not for you?
In my circles, having a baby is a no no, BUT who am I to judge what someone decides to do.
In the UK, you have a baby at a young age, you get a flat given to you, so people choose this route. Just like in the UK, you do not work, you can end up earning more than someone that works 5 days a week.
I 100% agree, I would rather be born into a family where my mother was 18, than be born into a family where I was just part of the grand plan.
Either which way, back to the original point, I came from a strict family, dating outside my race was a no no, well I am marrying someone outside of my race, my same family are actually happy for me, a bit disappointed but happy because I am. Now, if I had married someone they wanted, would I be happy???
most asians that i know are either doctors, engineers or lawyers. hence, I was forced to do one of the three professions in college. I feel like if I had not done any of those three professions, I was not worhty to be asian.
silly really.... but oh well, I survived.
I don't let myself feel constricted. I basically grew up in the United States and I am used to nearly everything being open 24/7, speaking up when there is a problem, being polite when I bump into somebody and say 'I'm sorry'...Things are pretty different here in Germany, or at least where I live. People are pretty passive here and refuse to say anything if something is wrong. Our butcher once gave us ground pork instead of ground beef, and everybody was like "Well, they just made a mistake"...But it wasn't the first time, and I did go in there and explain what happened and that I'd like my money back or that they give me ground beef.
I live my life as an American. I was looked down upon by a few people by having a child out of wedlock because that wasn't the moral and good-catholic girl thing to do. I try not to care what other people think and just go on with my life.