anybody with kids who have long age gaps (7 years or more)?

  1. hi everyone!
    i usually just post on the bags and shoes boards (haha!) but now i have reason to post here. i have a 7 year old daughter (she turned 7 last sept) and my husband and i thought we would only have 1 child. we haven't gotten pregnant despite the lack of birth control so we just assumed we wouldn't get pregnant anymore. well, guess what? i am pregnant! while i am elated, i am just concerned about the huge age gap that my kids will have. my daughter will be almost 8 by the time she becomes a big sister. anybody in a similar situation? would love to hear some words of encouragement.
  2. makeupmama,

    Congratulations to you, what a wonderful news..i think your elder girl's gonna be so excited.

    btw, i also had my baby #2 and he's almost 4 months old.

    Remember last time we had lunch at Pedder Building?? yup, that's me :smile:
  3. My oldest son, 18, has 7 years on my 11 year old. For the most part they have gotten along even better than kids closer in age. They play video games together and watch a lot of the same television. The older son for the most part until recently was super patient, but now obviously he has some adult interests that the younger does not share so they ocassionally have a few disagreements. No complaints there. I am now pregnant with number 3, a few miscarriages in between, so I think my 18 year age gap may have your 8 year beat,lol. Seriously, my kids are thrilled at the prospect of a new brother.(yes, another boy,lol)
  4. I'm not a mother but I am a sister to a 7 year old (I'm 19) I don't think it's inconvinient or anything, dont let the gap put you off... I enjoyed helping out and I was at a age where I wouldn't be competitive or anything. It's good experience for a sibling and you don't have to deal with two children at the same time as I became more and more independant before my brother was born.

    LVmom - me and my brother have the same relationship! Of course there are arguments occasionally but that is only because we're siblings and obviously we get annoyed with each other.
  5. JuiceBox, that's good to hear. My boys have always amazed me. My sister and I were 3 years apart and got along a lot worse than my boys do, and I am sure less than you and your brother.
  6. Congratulations on your wonderful news.:flowers: My daughter is 20, my big son is 18 and my little son is 3. There have been no problems at all with the age fact it has been a wonderful experience for them because (apart from the joy their little brother brings) my daughter and son have had a first-hand look at parenting (the good, the bad and the ugly, so to speak) and hopefully, it will help them in the future should they choose to have children. Good luck to you and I hope your pregnancy goes well.:smile:
  7. My oldest (daughter) was 12 when my next child was born and 18 when the youngest was born (and 15 when the middle child was born). I was the only pregnant mom at her high school graduation LOL. When we first told her we were expecting, she literally dropped to the floor and said "how can you do this to me?" Then she warned me that the baby better not be born on her birthday (he was born two weeks after her birthday and now they share their parties). After that, all things have been fine and they all get along famously. In fact, she is a great sounding board for them -- older, but not mom.
  8. Congrats on the new comer! My boys are about 7 years apart and they are best friends. I couldn't have gone to heaven and picked out a better big brother! My oldest soon is such a sweet kid-never wants to hurt any thing or any one and has been by his brother's side since day one. They adore each other!

    On the flip side, my sister and I are about the same and I hated her growing up! My mom worked days and went to school nights as a single mother and my sis was ALWAYS in charge. Even when she wasn't. Made for a bad relationship.

    So, moral of the story is-I guess it is in the way you raise them. Good luck to you and your family! I wish you the best! Enjoy your new little one. Man, makes me want another!
  9. thanks for the encouragement, everyone! it really helps to know that there are others out there with the same situation- who have lived thru it and can tell me that it's going to be ok. :smile:
    meow509 congrats on the new baby!
  10. Because of problems conceiving, then miscarriages, our sons are 7 years, 2 months apart. It's a little like having 2 only children. The older one can be a big help with the baby. The big issue growing up was the younger one constantly wanted to do everything his older brother did, which of course was not possible. They have a lot of interests in common and that's been good as adults.

    It's just not a problem in my mind--it's the way we were meant to have our family. My younger son and his wife are having their kids 2 years apart--no ttc problems with them--they don't know how lucky they are.

    Best wishes!! Everything will be great and your older child will be a proud big sis and loads of help, I'll bet.
  11. I don't have kids but my youngest brother is just about exactly 8 years younger than I am. I remember my Mom's pregnancy very vividly and was her "helper" for a lot of stuff (picking up something she dropped while sewing and couldn't reach, etc). And yep, I watched a lot of diapers get changed after he arrived and got to help with feeding (we were bottle fed kids)...etc etc. I was a proud big sis!

    Yes there are big gaps between us but we are very very close. Even when I was 21 and in college and he was 13 and in junior high we had funny inside jokes, etc and still do.

    Congrats on your pregnancy!!!
  12. My older brother & I are 7 years apart, and honestly, we didn't really get along until I was out of high school too. I think the age & gender differences were too much for us to pal around much.

    Someone mentioned it's almost like having 2 "only"s... well... for me... I'm an "only girl" my parents went on to have 2 more in many ways I grew up with many "1st born" and "only" qualities.

    I wasn't scarred for life or, though depending on how well you prep older child, you might have some jealousy to deal with (now he's gotta share attention...which may be a good or bad, depending on the type/amount of attention older child currenly receives.)

    congrats & good luck!
  13. My sister and I are eleven years apart, she's older. It was nice growing up because we both got to be somewhat of an only child. While some kids might not enjoy this, I did. She would take me places once in awhile and that was always fun. Or I would go spend the weekend at her house and that was nice. But we are complete opposites. Really. I often wonder if we really are related.
  14. i totally understand why it would be like having 2 "onlies." my daughter is now thinking of names for a baby boy or a baby girl. i know she "prefers" to have a baby sister, though. keeping my fingers crossed that jealousy will not be too much of a problem.
  15. 7 is definately not too old for a little baby sibling, I think it's better and less stress on the parents when one is already old enough to take care of themselves a little bit. Plus your daughter might even become protective of the baby.