Any HR people out there?

  1. I'm having a somewhat serious issue at work and I would love to run it by some HR people before tomorrow. I'm upset, lost, and confused.:crybaby: My mother (who is also in HR has given me some good advice), but I would like to hear a few more ideas before tomorrow or Friday. I hope to tell everyone about my issue and experience soon, but I would like to get a conclusion before I do that. Until then, if you are in HR and have knowledge about proper procedures in most work related situations (or can find the info for me) could you let me know through this thread or by PM so I can PM you my info? :smile:

    I know if anyone can help me, it's a Pfer.:yes:
  2. I'm a member of SHRM and can look up content at their site if you need it.
  3. I want to thank everyone who PMed me and evoque who wrote in this thread. I'm generally a fairly private person when it comes to things not on the superficial, so I will keep this short.

    The reason I am sharing this is so that none of you (especially the younger gals who haven't reached the workplace yet) go through what I've gone through in the past 3 weeks.

    I love my job. I never knew I could love a job so much. However there is one thorn in my quest to loving my job. I'm being harrassed by a male coworker who is in my training class. In normal day-to-day life, I'm a nice quiet girl in environments where I'm not too familiar with my surroundings. So I stayed to myself the first week and then people began to talk to me a bit more by week 2. Included was the one and only male in my class (who as far as I know is gay. I know this due to his need to talk about men in a sexual way).

    Anyway, I hate long posts so I'm going to keep this as short as I can. He began to make me the target of his affection. First it started with him noticing my wonderful fashion sense. Then the fact that I strut in my 4 inch heels. Then he started going into the 'that's my wife', and 'I love you' and staring at me constantly and his necessity to sit next to me or touch me. At one point in week 2, he wrote his name loves my name on the white board.

    Things progressively got worst and the last draw for me was Wednesday. At one point in the morning he came right next to me and placed his cheek on my cheek and airblew me a kiss. I asked him not to do that anymore. Later in the day I had to ask him not to bother me any more seriously. That's when he started to get crazier than usual. He started saying 'You don't know me' and singing this song by Beyonce on her new album (sorry I don't know the name of it).

    Not only that, but I became the butt of others jokes. Whenever he tried to get on another lady in our class that day, they would say 'I'm not my name'. By the time I left on Wednesday I was almost on the verge of tears. I hadn't told anyone of what I was going through because I thought 'maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing'. That evening I told my mom who has a masters in HR. She reassured me that this was a big deal and I should go to my trainer immediately the next day and let her know about this situation.

    The next day I told my trainer. She was actually pretty surprised because she thought I was ok with it. Yes, everyone was aware of what I was going through, but thought I was ok with it. Another reason I didn't say anything was because I didn't want people not to be my friend because of my problem with this person. I told my trainer that I didn't want her to say anything at this moment because I needed to tell him to stop one more time. If he didn't I would let her know so she could take the next steps.

    She already has a problem with his professionalism so this could be a very big deal. Anyway, my trainer hasn't been with us for the past 2 days because we've been in a seminar. During that time, I've tried to keep my distance and avoid this man. Unfortunately I got stuck with him on a trivia team during the seminar where he had a need to get close to me. Arm to Arm.

    At one point during the day I told him: 'Do you see this girl?' She is at least an arms length away from me. Look at you. I can put my hand in your face. Can you please move further away?' Of course he just laughed it off and didn't. He's unprofessional, I don't get his sick sense of humor, and I don't like him being that close to me or staring at me.

    I have 2 more weeks of training left. I'm thinking of just avoiding him for the next 2 weeks and then when I move off to my dept I won't have to see him that much anymore. Well I think that's enough for now. This was very difficult to write, so please be kind.

    Thanks for listening.
  4. {{{Oh E!!!}}} <-- cyberhugs

    I'm sorry :sad:
    You sounds stressed and you're normally so jovial, I hate that you have to deal w/ this.
    What a whack situation! He seemed gay but now seems perverse a bit.

    I hope he gets a clue before this escalates. Maybe you could pull him to the side and explain a little to him?
  5. Yikes! That guy sounds like a total whack job! You sooooo don't deserve that!

    I hope everything gets resolved:sad:
  6. elongreach, I send you tons of hugs from the Great Northwest. This is harrassment plain and simple and it's illegal.

    I can completely relate about thinking at first that it's not a big deal as it seems to be, or not wanting to make waves when you're brand new on a job and trying to get rapport established with everyone. I'm so glad that once the training is done you can get away from him and don't feel compelled to leave anything so new.

    It's the most horrific and unexpected experience one can go through as a professional. And the fact that their HR already has their eye on this turd is more reason that his days are numbered.

    About 10 years ago I had a new hire of mine (I didn't hire him but due to re-organizing he suddenly became a direct report of mine) who was extra attentive and complimentary of me and my outfits (verbally, at first). I would say "thanks" in a very matter of fact way and be done with it.

    Later he got promoted to another department and really kicked it up a notch with all this "Oh <pursegrrl> you look extra radiant and beautiful today...are you in love or something?" Gawd I wanted to puke. He would tell me how he's a single Dad with a young son, youngest of 8 kids, just lost his brother to AIDS, blah blah blah. Given he was so oily I had no empathy. At a non work related party he was there and trying to put his arm around me. After an email about that event to me the next Monday I marched over to his cube and did a yelling/whisper: "Leave me the F*** alone." That worked.

    Sorry about my long reply but you are strong and I know you will get past this creep with flying colors. :flowers: :flowers: :flowers:
  7. (((((hugs)))))

    Hang in there. I'm glad you told your trainer about it. You shouldn't have to go through all that. That's harrassment to me. I hope this gets resolved soon.
  8. Very simple answer: it's sexual harassment. Sexual harassment is illegal. If your immediate supervisor won't deal with it head on, go to her supervisor. It's not your responsibility to deal with a disrespectful, inappropriate co-worker when they will not respond to your direct requests to back off.

    Drop me a PM if you need more info, etc. but hopefully you got things worked out on Friday.
  9. You are most definitely NOT overreacting! I just went through this and sought advice from my fellow PF'ers(see link to thread below if you are interested). I filed a formal complaint and the harrasser was terminated. The great irony is that the same day they pulled him in to terminate him, they received another formal complaint from a customer!

    If there are already questions regarding this person's professionalism, then there is definitely an issue that should be addressed by your company. I finally decided to report my harrasser when I realized he could do this to someone else. I feel for you! Good luck and feel free to PM me if you would like to.
  10. I am so sorry you are going through this. Is this a new employee? Hopefully he gets fired before he starts or your company can have big problems. He's doing it to you and I'm sure he's done it to others. I know you're upset but you are doing the right thing. This is not your fault.
  11. I agree with the advice above. Your company's HR department has to respond to any complaints, and keep it confidential.

    Do you (and not by choice) interact with this person outside of training? If so, I would tell my supervisor and HR, as well. If there is a procedure for filing a complaint, look at your organization's policy and procedure manual to see what it is and to make sure that any steps aren't missed or done out of order. Document dates and events and your reactions, too. Also record who witnessed the behavior and the trainer that you spoke with, in case they have to corroborate your story.

    And don't worry about your co-workers thinking badly of you. You just started at that place, and once they all see how serious this is, I'm sure they'll understand. No one should ever be persecuted/harassed in the workplace. That your company even hired him says a lot- he did a great job at keeping these tendencies to himself during the interview.
  12. A similar thing is actually happening to me at work .. this guy at work thinks its o.k to constantly keep stroking my head ... its really wierd, and like touching my hands and stuff, I mean he is actaully a good looking guy and a popular member of the team but I find it inappropriate .. and tell him not to do it ,, but he does not listen and he had also written his name and my name in love on his mouse rester by his comp. I to was soo embarressed , - I too have not raised the issue but don't want to start something big, so I try to avoid him as best I can .. he is on holiday mo, so that been good.

    Infact we just got an HR manager .. its a small company and she amkes jokes about the way he is with me ... for example he was off for a week and so was I so she said ... i bet you both had the same time off so you could go on holiday together and spend time alone together etc etc ... I was so upset by her remarks ... and she is the HR manager WTF
  13. so sorry you have been having to deal with this!:wtf: I am glad you were able to get some good advice on how to deal with this, and thank your for sharing it so we can avoid going through the same thing.:yes:

    big hugs!:tender:
  14. So bizarre...he's gay? What's up with the attention to you then? I'm confused.

    The one and only time I ever had to deal with sexual harassment I was working at KFC (kentucky fried chicken) and one of the guys kept "accidently" bumping into our butts with his hand/arm and even brushed up against my boob.

    I am not one to keep quiet about anything but this did throw me for a loop. I thought I was the only one it was happening to...but turns out I was wrong! We all complained and the guy got fired.

    I don't like being touched in general, from anyone girl or guy. That's just me. And I'm no longer quiet about it ... and everyone at my work knows. No hugs, no miscellaneous touching.

    Don't take it! It's not professional behavior and it's very sleezy. Stand up for yourself and do what it takes to get this behavior to stop.
  15. You've gotten great advice but I'll chime in too:

    What he is doing is illegal (sexual harassment in the workplace) and if your company does not help you promptly the company is violating the law as well.

    I don't know about other states, but in California it is important that you tell him clearly to stop (which you have) and that you inform the company soon after the event(s). Using the term "harassment" is a good idea too. Keep records of everything that happens (what he does, what you tell him, and what you report to your trainer/supervisor/HR etc) so if it continues and you decide to take more formal action you'll have the details you need.

    We all deserve (and are legally entitled to) a work environment in which we can thrive; Good luck to you!