An Interesting Perspective

muchstuff

"Add to cart"
Authenticator
Jun 6, 2014
18,596
24,611
Vancouver
I read this the other day and thought it was worth sharing, particularly for those who may be dealing with a lot of anxiety right now and are feeling stressed because they're not upping their game during the C19 pandemic...

"A "motivational" message has been circulating during the coronavirus lockdown, which is allegedly supposed to kick our butts into gear since most of us now have more time on our hands.

Here's one version:


Jeremy Haynes

@TheJeremyHaynes



If you don’t come out of this quarantine with either:


1.) a new skill

2.) starting what you’ve been putting off like a new business

3.) more knowledge


You didn’t ever lack the time, you lacked the discipline


On its face, it may sound logical. We often don't do things because we lack time—or think we do—so now that we supposedly have more time, we should be doing those things now, right?

Just one thing though—there's a deadly global pandemic and massive economic crisis happening, which might be just the tiniest bit distracting right now, Jeremy.

A trauma psychologist from Beirut weighed in on this idea that we should be extra productive right now, and she didn't mince words. Alaa Hijazi's Facebook post has been shared 19,000 times, so people are clearly appreciating her wisdom. She wrote:

I thought I was spared the horrid 'motivational' phrase going around now—'If you don't come out of this with a new skill, you never lacked time, you lacked discipline'—until I saw it on my local yoga studio page.

As a trauma psychologist, I am utterly utterly horrified, enraged, and bewildered about how people can believe and spread this phrase in good conscience.

We are going through a collective trauma, that is bringing up profound grief, loss, panic over livelihoods, panic over loss of lives of loved ones. People's nervous systems are barely coping with the sense of threat and vigilance for safety, or alternating with feeling numb and frozen and shutting down in response to it all.

People are trying to survive poverty, fear, retriggering of trauma, retriggering of other mental health difficulties. Yet, someone has the nerve to accuse someone of lack of discipline for not learning a new skill, and by a yoga teacher!

This cultural obsession with [capitalistic] 'productivity' and always spending time in a 'productive,' 'fruitful' way is absolutely maddening.

What we need is more self-compassion, more gentle acceptance of all the difficult emotions coming up for us now, more focus on gentle ways to soothe ourselves and our pain and the pain of loved ones around us, not a whipping by some random ****er making us feel worse about ourselves in the name of 'motivation.'"

Indeed. Even those of us who are still employed full-time are finding it difficult to focus some days like we used to. The enormity of this pandemic and the global shutdown over it weighs heavy on all of us. Our sense of normality has been turned upside down and the uncertainty over what even the near future holds makes sustained attention a challenge.

Add in the fact that many people now have children at home who used to be at school or childcare, many are struggling to figure out how they're going to pay rent or buy groceries, many are watching businesses or careers they've spent years building crumble before their eyes, many have health conditions that make them anxious about catching the virus, and it's not hard to see how neither "time" nor "discipline" are our big problems right now.

If you want to go read books on hustling and build up some skill set, Jeremy, go for it. But let's not lay a guilt trip on people who are going through a traumatic experience that none of us have experienced before and none of us were prepared for."
 

Storm702

Member
Jan 19, 2012
1,686
2,654
Where the wild things are
Thank you for this. I see everyone talking about how they've cleaned top to bottom & prepared gourmet meals, while I can barely do the dishes with these 2 year old twin-nadoes. I will be cleaning up in one room, & meanwhile the twins are messing up another. It also doesn't help that my anxiety keeps me awake at night even after praying. I've been feeling so lazy & useless, but I realize I'm getting depressed because we're all off schedule and need a routine. So I will begin with small daily goals for a schedule to try and get back kn track. We will also go on a daily walk. I needed to see this, because my self esteem has taken a beaten lately.
 

muchstuff

"Add to cart"
Authenticator
Jun 6, 2014
18,596
24,611
Vancouver
Thank you for this. I see everyone talking about how they've cleaned top to bottom & prepared gourmet meals, while I can barely do the dishes with these 2 year old twin-nadoes. I will be cleaning up in one room, & meanwhile the twins are messing up another. It also doesn't help that my anxiety keeps me awake at night even after praying. I've been feeling so lazy & useless, but I realize I'm getting depressed because we're all off schedule and need a routine. So I will begin with small daily goals for a schedule to try and get back kn track. We will also go on a daily walk. I needed to see this, because my self esteem has taken a beaten lately.
Do what works best for you and your family. This is tough on everyone and we all have different needs right now. For some people taking on new goals helps them get through the stress, for others it might be extra time doing things with the kids. For some, just getting out of bed and taking a shower makes it a successful day. No one should judge.
I don't know if you've ever heard of Jenny Lawson or read her blog. Some of her stuff is irreverent as hell, she's funny in a totally off the wall way, and some days she can't get out of bed due to severe depression complicated by severe anxiety and several other health-related issues. She has a huge following and she's one of the kindest and well-spoken damaged (by her own admission) people I've ever had the pleasure to follow. Warning, some days you'll read her stuff and it'll be about taxidermied raccoons and dressing up her cats. Hang in there, she speaks volumes about dealing with anxiety and depression and people love her for it.
ETA: My twins are now 25. It gets easier...sort of :lol:.
 

Lilybarb

Member
Apr 28, 2018
1,651
3,476
Like what Jeremy Haynes thinks means anything. Sorry, but I find his judgement so ridiculous it's funny. There is so much societal judgement going around right now I s'pose he felt the need to join in.
 
Last edited:

Storm702

Member
Jan 19, 2012
1,686
2,654
Where the wild things are
Do what works best for you and your family. This is tough on everyone and we all have different needs right now. For some people taking on new goals helps them get through the stress, for others it might be extra time doing things with the kids. For some, just getting out of bed and taking a shower makes it a successful day. No one should judge.
I don't know if you've ever heard of Jenny Lawson or read her blog. Some of her stuff is irreverent as hell, she's funny in a totally off the wall way, and some days she can't get out of bed due to severe depression complicated by severe anxiety and several other health-related issues. She has a huge following and she's one of the kindest and well-spoken damaged (by her own admission) people I've ever had the pleasure to follow. Warning, some days you'll read her stuff and it'll be about taxidermied raccoons and dressing up her cats. Hang in there, she speaks volumes about dealing with anxiety and depression and people love her for it.
ETA: My twins are now 25. It gets easier...sort of [emoji38].
I will definitely check her out! Thank you so much [emoji176]
 
  • Like
Reactions: 880

muchstuff

"Add to cart"
Authenticator
Jun 6, 2014
18,596
24,611
Vancouver
Like what Jeremy Haynes thinks means anything. Sorry, but I find his judgement so ridiculous it's funny. There is so much societal judgement going around right now I I s'pose he felt the need to join in.
I think he was just used as an example (I don't even know who he is TBH). Pretty sure there are others with the same mind set!
 
  • Like
Reactions: 880