Am I WRONG to be upset about this?

hiyall

Member
Jan 29, 2009
239
0
I HATE talking my children to their pediatrician, because even though I REALLY like her as a person...she ALWAYS says, it's nothing wrong--well, most always. I THRILLED it's nothing wrong, I just feel so ummmm pissed about what happened yesterday.

My middle daughter had this ugly raised bump on her hand and it's spread all over her face, back and torso. I rarely take our kids to their pediatrician anymore, because my oldest (13), just rolls her eyes and says "she just gonna say it's nothing". Well, I called the ped first, and told her what I was concerned with. and she said...you should bring her in. When we got their, she spend a grand total of 10 seconds (actually LESS if you can believe that) and said...it's nothing--okay? Bye!

I said WAIT A MINUTE!!!!:nuts: Where did this come from?She said...I dunno, nobody knows. I said Well, how long will it stay> She said I dunno, maybe a week maybe longer. She said OKAY? I said NAW, that aint okay...Should I give her some benedryl or put something on it? She cavalierly said, Nope.

All of this took a grand total of LESS than 1 minute. As I was paying my $20.00 co-pay, I asked if I could talk to the doctor in private, I asked her
if she honestly thought I should PAY for this visit. And she said, welll... YES. So I said, okay and turned my back on her to walk away and she said let me explain, if I don't charge you then the insurance company won't pay me and I'd have to write the whole thing off. SHE'LL BE CHARGING OUR INSURANCE COMAPNY $180.00 PLUS MY 20 COPAY, THAT'S $200.00:nuts:

I feel as if I've just been raped or visited with a prostitute! Now let me say
that this is the pediatrician that deliver ALL four of our children and that
I usually hug on the way out, because I really like her.

I told the dr (I'm using small letters on purpose), she's been a ped for over 30 years btw...I said, but this rash on her hand looks different, and she shrugged and said...welll---yes, maybe this was some kinda bug bite, it's nothing...THESE RASHES AND BUMPS LOOK UGLY AS HELL AND WORRISOME!!!!

My husband said she has shopping on her mind and to find a new pediatrician. I agree and still feel RAPED somehow.

Am I wrong...I AM so wrong about so many things, perhaps I'm wrong here too? Any options or thought would be so appreciated.:smile:

P.S. I totally KNOW we're not living in a communist country--but this feels so WRONG, like such a RIP OFF, not for my measly $20.00 copay...but for the $180.00 insurance company--that such a rip off to me. Should I call the insurance company and tell them what I think about this dr. ? I feel BAD, because again, I like this doctor as a person--or I did until yesterday!
 
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Mrs. MC

Member
Dec 4, 2007
4,056
1
I think regardless if they find something wrong with your child or not you still have to pay. I woud rather pay for a diagnosis of nothing serious than ever get a diagnosis of something wrong with my child. People get so many little things that can't really be explained, you just have to ride it out and there isn't always a treatment for everything, sometimes you just have to leave things alone.
 

*suzi*

O.G.
Sep 16, 2006
5,503
10
Ohio
Well, I gues I would like to ask what you would have wanted her to do? If she walked in and said I don't know what this is, but it looks harmless. Would you have liked her to run numerous tests and charge the insurance company thousands even though in her expert opinion she didn't think it was anything to worry about? Were you looking for her to sit there for a while and have a chat? Seriously, I'm not trying to say that you shouldn't feel the way you are feeling. I'm just trying to understand what she should have done differently if she didn't think the rash was harmful?
 

kate83675

O.G.
Nov 24, 2008
4,724
1
SW Florida
If you're not happy with her service then I think you need to ask around and find someone else to take your children to. As much as you like her as a person, as much as you like that she delivered your children, you're not happy with your office visits.

I'd have expected her to ask me and my child questions and make an attempt to find out what this is and why it happened. If it's something environmental then it could happen again if you don't find out why it happened. Yes, there are many things that have no explanation but from your description it's difficult to know if this is one of them.

Physicians are providing a customer service, it you don't feel confident with her work then you are absolutely within your rights (and responsibility to your children) to find another one to see your children. In this instance I certainly would.
 

sbelle

O.G.
Mar 14, 2009
17,540
6,377
To me the whole situation sounds like a time to change doctors, even before this incident. Her style is just not working for you. You need to find a doctor that will listen better and spend more time explaining to you. They do exist out there. I would ask around with friends and explain what you are looking for and with luck one of them will have a good doctor.



Just to comment on your daughter's bumps. I have no idea whether this might be your situation, but I'll share our story with you. Our daughter woke up one morning with bumps all over her body. They looked like bug bites to us, and we were out of town staying at a hotel so I thought bed bugs. We saw a doctor in the town and he said that it wasn't bed bug bites.

So when we came home we went to the pediatrician and she didn't know. We went to dermatologist and she didn't know. We went to an allergist who diagnosed it as chronic hives. We were suprised because we didn't know anyone who had ever had chronic hives. Turns out that lots of people do.

Well it took about 6 months of taking two different kinds of antihistimes for the bumps to go away. The scary thing is that they might be gone forever and they might come back next week. The doctor said sometimes they are caused by a virus and the body's reaction to the virus.

I doubt that is what has happened to you, but wanted to share just in case.
 
Mar 8, 2006
8,191
16
Desperately Seeking Deals
If you have a long relationship with the Doctor...I would just talk to her about it. If that doesn't go well...it is time for a new pediatrician. My pediatrician always says, "looks like a virus"!!
 

*suzi*

O.G.
Sep 16, 2006
5,503
10
Ohio
^^^ Hmm... good point post #5. Had to jump in again because I suppose more questions probably would have made her feel a little more comfortable. I agree that she should definitely shop around for a new doc if she doesn't like this one. Sometimes I feel bad for the docs because people don't understand that many of them are no longer self employed and are being penalized for unnecessary medical testing and not seeing enough patients in a timely manner. It's a "catch 22".
 

wordbox

so in love!
O.G.
Feb 26, 2007
6,857
0
37
The North Pole
Why not get a second opinion on it? Bring her to another doctor, see if they say the same thing. If you get treated better and they find something is actually wrong, then you have your answer.
 

hiyall

Member
Jan 29, 2009
239
0
Thanks guys! Actually, she didn't deliver all of my children...but was there to give them their newborn wellness check, and the circumcise my sons etc. In order words, we've had an on-going relationship with this dr. for years and with all of our children.

I googled the problem, and found the diagnosis the Ped QUICKLY, nonchanantly and totally apathetically gave us.

I would have liked for her to ask my daughter more questions or something and treat my daughter with more concern and give me more info than I found on google/searching forums from people struggling to find out what this is (self-diagnosis).
like what tPFERS said here, I wanted more customer/professional patient service! I went to Pharmacy the day before to get some Benedryl and
Hibiclens for my daughter, after I googled and found what I thought it might be (before her visit to the Ped., because I initially wanted self-treat--b/c in my heart, I KNEW the doctor would say it's nothing). I asked the Pharmacist what she thought it might be, and she said she wasn't sure, and I told her I would take my baby to the doctor (just to be sure--better safe than sorry). This rashy/bumpy thingys look so gross--I was worried, so I took her in. My daughter never has had rashes and things.

I'm going to find a new Ped...I just think this Ped bedside manner is lacking and I felt like we were given the bums rush. I didn't want her to sit and chit chat, but I felt that
the Pharmacist showed more professional concern than our Ped. Thanks again gang!
 
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DangerousJade

Broadway Baby
Aug 1, 2008
666
0
You went to your pediatrician to find out if something was wrong. If it turns out that she dismissed you cavalierly and missed a real problem, you have every reason to be upset. However, my guess would be that after many years in the practice, she knows the warning signs to look for when rashes are problematic. If she saw that nothing was raising a red flag, maybe she prefers to err on the side of letting it sort out. Giving a prescription for something that may or may not be the problem, or endorsing doses of Benadryl and medicated lotion, may in her professional opinion not be a conservative and thoughtful use of drugs on children. If you went to ease your mind that your daughter was fine, then you got what you wanted. If you went to get a dramatic diagnosis or possibly non-necessary drug recommendations, then just as well that she's not a doctor who indulges that.

I do feel, however, that she should probably not be so curt and quick with her visits. She doesn't sound like she dealt with you reassuringly, but for a family doctor dealing with small problems, I'd prioritize a trusted and thoughtful physician over one who extends your visits with unnecessary information about an apparently self-correcting problem.

Also, I know I'm going to be the off-topic b*tch for saying this, but I think it's very offensive when people compare rape to...situations that are nothing like rape. It trivializes a violent act. I am sorry you felt disregarded or like your time was wasted, however.
 

Charles

Sucks at budgeting
O.G.
Jan 5, 2007
15,475
3,489
46
Jacksonville, Fl
That's the thing...she's a doctor, and you're not, yet you're assuming you know how she should perform her job. What are you wanting? If the doctor feels there's nothing to be worried about, then don't worry about it. Either way, you have to pay for her professional opinion...no matter how long it took for her to give it to you.
 

SWlife

For the love of beautiful things
O.G.
Oct 18, 2006
15,250
2,267
New Mexico
I'm a little confused by a doctor who delivers babies (obstetrician) and also treats children (pediatrician). Is she general practice?
Anyway, I know I wouldn't let my gynecologist treat my lupus so I'm thinking you may need to move along to another pediatrician.
We all know the healthcare system here is broken. The best thing we can do at this point is educate ourselves and try to be as proactive with our health as we can.
Hope your daughter will be ok.
 

stacmck

nail polish addict
O.G.
Feb 11, 2007
19,424
1
43
Pittsburgh, PA
It sounds like you need to find a second opinion, especially since her bedside manner leaves something to be desired. Or take her to a specialist like a dermatologist?

Good luck!
 

hiyall

Member
Jan 29, 2009
239
0
You went to your pediatrician to find out if something was wrong. If it turns out that she dismissed you cavalierly and missed a real problem, you have every reason to be upset. However, my guess would be that after many years in the practice, she knows the warning signs to look for when rashes are problematic. If she saw that nothing was raising a red flag, maybe she prefers to err on the side of letting it sort out. Giving a prescription for something that may or may not be the problem, or endorsing doses of Benadryl and medicated lotion, may in her professional opinion not be a conservative and thoughtful use of drugs on children. If you went to ease your mind that your daughter was fine, then you got what you wanted. If you went to get a dramatic diagnosis or possibly non-necessary drug recommendations, then just as well that she's not a doctor who indulges that.

I do feel, however, that she should probably not be so curt and quick with her visits. She doesn't sound like she dealt with you reassuringly, but for a family doctor dealing with small problems, I'd prioritize a trusted and thoughtful physician over one who extends your visits with unnecessary information about an apparently self-correcting problem.

Also, I know I'm going to be the off-topic b*tch for saying this, but I think it's very offensive when people compare rape to...situations that are nothing like rape. It trivializes a violent act. I am sorry you felt disregarded or like your time was wasted, however.
I agree 100% and truly apologize for using that term. I should have said very violated/mistreated and ripped off and given the bums rush and left feeling--yucky and dumb and non confident in the QUICK expensive (not for me, but what she'll be charging my insurance company for a 10 second visit.
 

stacmck

nail polish addict
O.G.
Feb 11, 2007
19,424
1
43
Pittsburgh, PA
That's the thing...she's a doctor, and you're not, yet you're assuming you know how she should perform her job. What are you wanting? If the doctor feels there's nothing to be worried about, then don't worry about it. Either way, you have to pay for her professional opinion...no matter how long it took for her to give it to you.
As a physician...:ps: