It's been eating at me for a week, so I'd like some advice from you lovely ladies.
I have a friend, who at one point, was more (we considered marriage and spending our lives together) who is American and to finance his studies, joined the National Guard. Then the war in Iraq happened.
After his training and tour of duty in Iraq, he's a very different person and while he's asked me to marry him again, I didn't feel we could be anything more than friends. The other day, he asked me to ask my dad to make out a check to someone in the UK to pay for something he'd bought on eBay.
The problem is, that something is a piece of equipment that is related to weapons (something to make it safe or something). So I said no because:
a) Dealing with weapons is very restricted here (both France where I live and the UK I am from). One needs all kinds of permits and authorisations to possess and sell.
b) I don't want to be involved with anything to do with sending anything related to weapons to the US. In a post 9/11 world, I don't think the US are very tolerant about that kind of crap anymore.
c) I know my dad would have felt even more strongly against that, so I didn't want to bother him with this request because he'd refuse and probably lecture me about points a & b.
My friend didn't take this kindly and started telling me that we Europeans are unenlightened and nearly on the verge of book-burning, that there are no liberties here, etc etc. It's not the first time we've had a fight about US/Europe and where he's accused me (or close enough) of being un-American and against liberty(ies).
It's not the first time either that he's tried to bully me into doing something I didn't want (before, he wanted me to move to the US and drop my education).
He'd also told me, after his basic training, that had he known what my parentage was like before we got involved with one another, he'd have never gotten involved in the first place.
This time I got really mad and yelled at him, and my dad (who I did talk to after that) told me not to bother with my friend anymore, just stop communicating with him anymore. My dad added that since he'd met him in 2002, he really didn't like him but hadn't told me because he didn't want to hurt me.
I don't feel like a book-burning, horrible and liberty-bashing European and I don't think that the country around me is filled with that kind of people (just looking at the student demonstrations/commentaries around labour laws proves me otherwise, everyone is allowed to say anything, no matter how truthful, far-fetched or assinine).
I'm also pretty mad because I supported him as much as I could during his training and tour of duty, regardless of personal opinion and also the very hostile opinion of some around me (some people at my school who knew about the situation actively wished him dead, etc because of his involvement in the war).
I'm really confused because I genuinely liked him and I'm really mad at myself because I feel, betrayed, I guess.
Sorry for the long rambling post, I just had to get this off my chest because it's making me sad, confused and obsessy about it.
Help/Advice?
Should I give him another (friendly) chance? Should I just drop him?
I have a friend, who at one point, was more (we considered marriage and spending our lives together) who is American and to finance his studies, joined the National Guard. Then the war in Iraq happened.
After his training and tour of duty in Iraq, he's a very different person and while he's asked me to marry him again, I didn't feel we could be anything more than friends. The other day, he asked me to ask my dad to make out a check to someone in the UK to pay for something he'd bought on eBay.
The problem is, that something is a piece of equipment that is related to weapons (something to make it safe or something). So I said no because:
a) Dealing with weapons is very restricted here (both France where I live and the UK I am from). One needs all kinds of permits and authorisations to possess and sell.
b) I don't want to be involved with anything to do with sending anything related to weapons to the US. In a post 9/11 world, I don't think the US are very tolerant about that kind of crap anymore.
c) I know my dad would have felt even more strongly against that, so I didn't want to bother him with this request because he'd refuse and probably lecture me about points a & b.
My friend didn't take this kindly and started telling me that we Europeans are unenlightened and nearly on the verge of book-burning, that there are no liberties here, etc etc. It's not the first time we've had a fight about US/Europe and where he's accused me (or close enough) of being un-American and against liberty(ies).
It's not the first time either that he's tried to bully me into doing something I didn't want (before, he wanted me to move to the US and drop my education).
He'd also told me, after his basic training, that had he known what my parentage was like before we got involved with one another, he'd have never gotten involved in the first place.
This time I got really mad and yelled at him, and my dad (who I did talk to after that) told me not to bother with my friend anymore, just stop communicating with him anymore. My dad added that since he'd met him in 2002, he really didn't like him but hadn't told me because he didn't want to hurt me.
I don't feel like a book-burning, horrible and liberty-bashing European and I don't think that the country around me is filled with that kind of people (just looking at the student demonstrations/commentaries around labour laws proves me otherwise, everyone is allowed to say anything, no matter how truthful, far-fetched or assinine).
I'm also pretty mad because I supported him as much as I could during his training and tour of duty, regardless of personal opinion and also the very hostile opinion of some around me (some people at my school who knew about the situation actively wished him dead, etc because of his involvement in the war).
I'm really confused because I genuinely liked him and I'm really mad at myself because I feel, betrayed, I guess.
Sorry for the long rambling post, I just had to get this off my chest because it's making me sad, confused and obsessy about it.
Help/Advice?
Should I give him another (friendly) chance? Should I just drop him?