Am I overreacting?

#16
pursemama said:
You need to ask yourself, why would I want to be friends with someone who has no moral values or more importantly has no respect for me? :huh: To be his friend it should be unconditional and equal.
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Up until our last (and probably last ever) conversation, he wasn't so open in his disregard for my opinions/wants/needs/whatevers.

Your comments + advice actually helped me realise what a total jerk he was and still is. I'd even managed to forget the incident, or should I say non-incident when my mother died, where he didn't even offer condoleances.

Thanks for your advice, kind words, boots up the a$$ (lookin' at you, pursemama ;) ) which I needed. I feel better now.
 
#17
Perja,you had every right to say "no" to his request,and a true friend would have understood that he was putting you into quite a tricky situation...not have launched a character assassination.
From your other anecdotes it sounds that he has problems being empathic anyway.

Sometimes friendships run their course. This doesn't mean that it was a mistake ever to have been friends with him,just that the two of you appear to have grown in different directions now.

Sorry that this had to happen to you!
 
#20
This guy is definitely bad news, Perja. I would stay far away. He said you could bus tables, instead of respecting your wishes to finish your education? :suspiciou Then he sleeps with someone else, gets married, divorces that person... too much drama. You don't need someone like this in your life. I agree with Selena, run and don't look back. You'll be glad you did!
 
#22
Everyone above have said all the right things and gave good advise to you already. But I will give my 2cent too because one more persuasion to make you leave him is yet better.
We can have different education, different upbringing, have different experiences therefore different opinion. That's bound to happen even with married couples. But it is not right to hurt or to patronise while expressing your opinion, especially to your love ones. From the things he said and he did, it's obvious that he doesn't respect you and he will never do (critising your upbringing, if he knew it before hand he would not have been involved with you?). This is enough for you to leave him. Listen to your dad, he has respected your choice up until now to tell you what he thinks. It's clear which men you should listen to here. The guy is obviously going to be a burden to you emotionally as well as financially (ask your dad to pay for the weapon-substance?). You sound like you have a good head on your shoulder, listen to your instinct, cut the strings.
 
#23
Cristina said:
This guy is definitely bad news, Perja. I would stay far away. He said you could bus tables, instead of respecting your wishes to finish your education? :suspiciou Then he sleeps with someone else, gets married, divorces that person... too much drama. You don't need someone like this in your life. I agree with Selena, run and don't look back. You'll be glad you did!
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Its the smart girl who discovers a wacko prior to marriage. You think your sad or confused or regretful...marry someone like that and those feelings magnify by 100%.

Selena
 
#24
Okay, now a new question for you guys...

Do I cut the strings silently, or do I email/IM/tell him if he calls that I do not want to hear from him again?
 
#27
i think if he tries to contact you, you should definitely tell this guy to leave you the hell alone. if he doesn't then maybe it will be best to silently cut the strings.
 
#29
mahbag! said:
i think if he tries to contact you, you should definitely tell this guy to leave you the hell alone. if he doesn't then maybe it will be best to silently cut the strings.
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Agree!!! Tell him politely but firmly that you don't want him to contact you anymore and if he persists, just ignore him (and block him from your contact list ;) )
Good luck (and I'm sorry to read about this situation)
 
#30
Just to add a perspective from an American, it's not Europeans who are uptight about purchasing weapon-related materials, it's ALL of us who live in the post 9/11 world and what he is doing is illegal in the U.S.

You are NOT overreacting, you are reacting with common sense. The war is tragic. Many families will never be the same. That doesn't make it your fault. So sorry you are going through this.
 
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