Am I Overreacting?? Advice sought....

  1. I guess I'm looking for some opinions for a situation I am in. Sorry for the lengthy post!:flowers:

    I call on a number of major retailers and grocery accounts for one of the companies that I work for. There is a much older man in one of my accounts who has always been overly nice to me and recently it has escalated to being uncomfortable. When I say older, I mean at least 25 years older than me. I will call him "Fred" for all intents and purposes.

    It all started out with Fred telling me how pretty I looked and he'd put his arm around me or try to hug me. At first I thought he was just a nice little old man, but then he started to kind of bug me. He would always get too far into my personal space and would always try to touch me in some way. My assistant DM came out to my territory several months ago to ride with me and she was really creeped out by Fred. She told me I needed to watch out because he was overstepping his boundaries. He made her very uncomfortable.

    His "attention" has continued even though I have shown ZERO interest and have not solicited it in any way, shape, or form. In the beginning, I tried to be polite, but as time has progressed, I try to avoid him and am really barely civil to him. Then about a week and half ago, he really pushed the envelope.

    I was working in the backroom and I swear he must have waited around for everyone else to leave. He cornered me and asked what my schedule was for the rest of the day. The store I was in is a couple of hours away from my home. He even asked if I would be going to a specific store after this call was complete. I have no idea how he knew what my schedule was like which was weird. At this point, he grabbed my hand and told me I should not go to my next store so I could stay in town and have dinner with him. He suggestively said "you and I could have a really good time together." I told him while this was flattering, I was in no way interested. I also told him I am married and this was definitely NOT something I would/could do. He responded with "well, this isn't something your husband needs to know about." I told him no again and he still persisted. He then stepped in really close-way too close--to blatantly look down my shirt and said "you know, I could really get into a lot of trouble with a girl like you." He said this with a very suggestive, knowing expression on his face. I told him I needed to return to work and that he should do the same. About five minutes later, he came back over to me and said "you don't need to tell your husband about this. It can be our little secret. And just so you know, the offer still stands*eye wink*."

    I don't know what exactly bothered me so much about this encounter, but it way creeped me out. I have had situations similar to this before, but none of them ever stuck with me like this one has. I think my main concern is that this has affected my work performance. I am no longer comfortable working alone in this store. I purposefully avoid going into areas where I really do need to work.

    Plus, I forgot to mention that Fred did not realize one of his co-workers was on the other side of some pallets of product and heard most of the exchange. By the time I walked out onto the sales floor, everyone in that department knew what happened. No one stepped in to assist me or said anything to Fred about being inappropriate. I spoke with another department manager and she knew exactly to whom I was referring and said they have had many complaints about Fred. Yet no disciplinary action has ever been taken. You have to understand--this a major retail chain that should be very concerned with their employees' behavior.

    After consulting with my HR department and much deliberation, I filed a formal complaint with Fred's company. They said they would follow up, but judging from their past track record, I am not optimistic.

    I guess I'm just wondering if anyone thinks I have overreacted. I feel kind of silly because I really can take care of myself, but for some reason this situation has me seriously uncomfortable and weirded out.:s
  2. NOT AT ALL! What he did was TOTALLY inappropriate! I suggest you keep bugging HR until they do something about this! Sexual harrassment is against the law! So sorry you had this experience!

    P.S. where in Nebraska do you live? (I grew up in Lincoln!:nuts:)
  3. No, you're not overreacting. Yes, you were sexually harassed and yes you're definitely doing the right thing. By filing a complaint, you may stop him from doing this to other women.
  4. You did the right thing! NO ONE has a right to make you feel that way. It's good that you did this so he will not be able to do this to another woman! Good for you!
  5. Thank you for validating my feelings!!! I was afraid I was being a baby about the whole thing.

    I'm in Scottsbluff so on the complete opposite end of the state from Lincoln!
  6. :flowers:
  7. You did not overreact whatsoever. Tell your husband!! People are sick now a days. He may have some sort of obsession with you. Maybe your husband needs to have a word with Fred!
  8. Because "Fred" knew my work schedule without me ever giving it to him kind of concerns me. It's not like I have ever gone out of my way to be overly friendly to this guy. Some how he has figured out my movements after I leave his store and that is scary.
  9. Very creepy!
  10. Thank goodness you filed a complaint AND have witnesses! You should (nicely) see if you can get some others who would be willing to write and sign brief statements of what they heard. You did exactly the right thing - to do nothing would be a mistake. I can't believe the man still has his job.

  11. This is exactly why I decided to file a complaint. He has been getting away with this for way too long from the sound of it and it needs to stop. NOW.
  12. Fred is an idiot and a jackass. For him to be so brazen in his dialogue with you and be so informed of your work schedule is quite concerning. He obviously does not value his job and that says alot about his character. You need to be careful and be aware of your surroundings at work. Carry pepper spray in your pocket.
  13. ^^Ditto the pepper spray. Sounds like this guy is creepy enough to follow you and do some damage. Wouldn't trust it. I would make sure my voice is overheard telling him to backoff (in a nice way). As in really loudly.
  14. Twinkie you did the right thing!!! That was sexual harrasment! Your company should have paid attention to you the moment you talked! I think you should bugging them until something is done! You did the right thing!!!!!
  15. I can't imagine how frightening that must have been. You did the right thing, & if no action is taken you should file a complaint with the state & get a lawyer. This guy has to stopped & no way should you [or any other woman]have to work near him again.