Am I being unreasonable?

#16
"He told me tonight that I am a burden to him and he doesn't want to take me to my appointment, he wants to go to LA and see his college buddies that he hasn't seen in 3 years."

Tell him, "Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!"

Seriously, you deserve better than this. No one should be told they are a burden. I think this is a great opportunity to get out of this relationship. Start anew! Focus on yourself and being happy and healthy.
 
#17
Best wishes and congratulations on your health! I can only imagine how wonderful your feelings must be.

As for your BF, well, I don't know what to think. But I question whether you would want to spend more time on someone who is insensitive at this important time.
 
#18
Syntagma said:
No, you are not being unreasonable. If I were you I would DITCH him. No man is EVER going to tell me I am a burden on him and ditch me in my time of need!

CONGRATS ON BEING CANCER FREE! That's so fabulous to hear!
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Totally agree!! its at these times when you see true sides of people!! And that is just shocking what he said!
He should be with you no matter what else he has got plans for!

You need to talk to him!
 
#19
As always everything said is how I feel. Im sorry he is being that way. I want to say other things however, Im being respectful. For me, if my husband was not my number one fan I just could not be with him. I made it clear from day one its all or nothing. I wish I lived near by as I would SOOOOOO go with you.
 
#20
First, congratulations on being cancer free for two years.

About your BF: How has he reacted to your check-ups in the past?

My first reaction was that he must also be terrified. I know I would be.
 
#21
You have every right to be mad and frustrated!! If he feels you are a burden, then u definitely dont need him there with you.. i recommend you take your friend with you.. and report to us on the good news after your result!! :smile:
 
#22
You had cancer and he called you a burden? Someone IS being unreasonable, but it isn't you.

You go girl - good on you for beating the big C. I wish you all the best. Don't let anyone drag you down and like others have said, get rid of the baggage.
 
#23
cbetht said:
Ok, so long story short, I had cancer in 2005. I have been clear for almost 2 years now. I go for CT scans and check-ups with my oncologist every 6 months.

Well, my 6 month is Friday and my family is going to Florida (I'm staying behind because I am taking summer classes). My bf and I got in a fight tonight because he doesn't want to take me to my 6 month check-up Friday. He has known about my appointment for over a month. Even if my family was going to be here I would still want him there with me. This is a huge deal to me. I get so paranoid when it gets close to check-up time. We have been together 2 years. We met right after I finished my treatments. He told me tonight that I am a burden to him and he doesn't want to take me to my appointment, he wants to go to LA and see his college buddies that he hasn't seen in 3 years. I understand that, but the thing is, he sprung this on me about 2 hours ago. I can't find anyone to go and I don't want to be alone. I'm sure its not, but what IF it's bad news. Of course, I would want him to be there. And I feel as if he should WANT to be there to hear the GOOD news. It'll be my 2 year remission date if everything comes back clear. I'm rethinking this relationship and the person he really is. Am I being the unreasonable one?
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You are not being unreasonable and I think he should take you but have you thought that he might be scared of it being bad news and is frightened of how he may react.

I hope everything works out well for you and you get good news.
 
#24
lordguinny said:
ITA! You are not being unreasonable at all. Aw, I'm sorry he is being so rude to you. A burden? WTF? I say he's a burden on you and you let go of that baggage.

But I'm very happy to hear that you are cancer free!:yahoo:
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Congrats on being cancer free!!!

I agree with lordguinny! HE is the burden, not you. He is so out of line...I know how hard it is to break up with someone...but say PEACE OUT TO HIM!
 
#25
No, what you're thinking is totally understandable. Sometimes it takes tough situations like these for someone's true feelings to come out. If he was a truely supportive and loving bf he'd take one day out of his busy schedule to go with you. You're not asking for a million dollars..get rid of him.
 
#26
There's no way you're being unreasonable! A good partner supports you and is there for you in situations like this. I can't imagine *not* being there for my bf if he were going through something like cancer.

You need to ditch this guy ASAP! He's being incredible selfish & immature. You deserve a lot better.

Congrats on being cancer-free!
 
#27
Yes, big congratulations on being cancer free. You are definitely not being unreasonable. Your boy"friend" is being a cruel and totally selfish pig and if he had said those words to me, I would never speak to him again - EVER. There is no excuse for him being so heartless. You deserve better. Could you perhaps get a real friend to go with you to your check-up? (and we'll be with you in spirit). Good luck on Friday.
 
#28
Syntagma said:
No, you are not being unreasonable. If I were you I would DITCH him. No man is EVER going to tell me I am a burden on him and ditch me in my time of need!
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^ :yes:. I am afraid I have to agree.

how about talking to your family - tell them there are issues with your BF, maybe they can postpone for a few hours/ another day? sorry for having to deal with this at this point in time - forget the dude.

also congrats on being cancer free and all the best for Friday :heart:
 
#29
Dito what everyone else said. IN NO WAY ARE YOU BEING UNREASONABLE. Even if he was "scared ( like you aren't!) there seemed to be no compassion there at all. If you can't count on him for something this major ( and I totally see why this is major for you) then you need to drop him.

Congrats on your heath sweetie!
 
#30
You are totally reasonable, I can only imagine how the appointment should be important for you, who got through all that (Congrats that you've been cancer free, BTW!).
I mean, if you care about somebody, you should respect what is important for him/her, I do not see it in this situation. It seems to me like to meet with buddies and entertain himself is more important for your BF than to support you.
 
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