Am I a RACIST?!
- Thread starter Glamorous_girl
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No, you are not racist at all, you just have a preference or *fetish* (like you said). But I think you are limiting yourself on love a little.
I don't think it is really a fetish to like only asians, caucasians, etc. I really think it it comes down to personal preference and what your attracted to.
I am an asian gal who was only attracted to caucasians in high school and it wasn't until I went to college that I started to be more open and dated a really HOT asian guy that I have been with for 5+ years now.
I always think that if I wasn't as open that I may have missed an opportunity to be with this guy that I now plan on marrying.
So I don't think your racist b/c it is a personal prefence and attraction but also I say be open and don't shut out a guy just cause he is not asian. He may float your boat!
I am an asian gal who was only attracted to caucasians in high school and it wasn't until I went to college that I started to be more open and dated a really HOT asian guy that I have been with for 5+ years now.
I always think that if I wasn't as open that I may have missed an opportunity to be with this guy that I now plan on marrying.
So I don't think your racist b/c it is a personal prefence and attraction but also I say be open and don't shut out a guy just cause he is not asian. He may float your boat!
we all have our certain tastes, bf is chinese, but i also adore men(from whatever races)
I don't think it's racist to have a preference but I DO think it's racist to exclude a whole race completely. Excluding an entire race of people is assuming that all their characteristics are the same, whether it be phenotypic or cultural or personality traits, and i find that to be racist. "I don't find Asian men attractive" - oh, so you've met all 2 billion of them? To be honest, those kinds of statements really irk me.
On a similar note, can someone explain to me why it's only Asian that is always used with fetishism. It seems to me that "Asian fetish" is thrown around left and right but never "White fetish," "Black fetish," etc. Because of this, sometimes I feel that if I were in an interracial relationship (being an Asian girl), our relationship would be seen as illegitimate because the guy just has an Asian fetish and I am just the flavor of the month.
Dating preferences have complex reasons and it's not correct to just call it racism (you're not really discriminating based on race unjustly...since it's an area where you're supposed to have preferences, sometimes irrational).
However, I do get creeped out when someone's past relationships were all a certain race apart from their own...not that it's wrong, it's just hard to tell if they are in it for a serious relationship or for some exotic preconceived notions...I also get creeped out if some guy's past 5 girlfriends were all 5-ft bubbly petite girls...I'd also question if they're trying to replace some special someone...
I'd be more worried about the men you're interested in questioning your intentions (are you looking for some mold for a guy?). Of course, those who know you better won't be bothered, but it's just something you need to deal with for new friends or love interests.
However, I do get creeped out when someone's past relationships were all a certain race apart from their own...not that it's wrong, it's just hard to tell if they are in it for a serious relationship or for some exotic preconceived notions...I also get creeped out if some guy's past 5 girlfriends were all 5-ft bubbly petite girls...I'd also question if they're trying to replace some special someone...
I'd be more worried about the men you're interested in questioning your intentions (are you looking for some mold for a guy?). Of course, those who know you better won't be bothered, but it's just something you need to deal with for new friends or love interests.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe the Asian Fetish thing started with the Korean War, then the Vietnam War, when American (caucasian) soldiers were stationed in these asian countries and frequented brothels and sometimes married Asian women. These women were often petite, great homekeepers (compared to American women who began to join the workforce during that time), and came from poorer countries at the time so the American men could date outside of their league.
No you aren't.
I'm chinese, but I don't find chinese men attractive. Other asians are fine. I did go out with a chinese man once, but he didn't look typically chinese. Wierd, I know. My mum is completely perplexed by it. She took it as blasphemy, - as in "if chinese women didn't find chinese men attractive, the whole race would die out" scenario.
I dated caucasian men, but never planned to marry one. I always thought I'd marry an asian man. But DH is caucasian, and I adore him totally. In the start, I even told DH he didn't fit my criteria, and he just told me I was being silly.
I'm chinese, but I don't find chinese men attractive. Other asians are fine. I did go out with a chinese man once, but he didn't look typically chinese. Wierd, I know. My mum is completely perplexed by it. She took it as blasphemy, - as in "if chinese women didn't find chinese men attractive, the whole race would die out" scenario.
I dated caucasian men, but never planned to marry one. I always thought I'd marry an asian man. But DH is caucasian, and I adore him totally. In the start, I even told DH he didn't fit my criteria, and he just told me I was being silly.
^ I for one used the word shallow - something shallow is not always negative - it is a on the surface decision, based on the looks of a person. a deep choice would be just looking at the personality IMO, as was suggested elsewhere.
I surely made certain shallow choices like dark hair, tall husband whatever... it is a way of 'weeding' out, kwim? harsh as it sounds. I actually totally agree with you - why should we force ourselves to be attracted if we are not? and again NO I don't think it is racist to exclude a whole group when it comes to being attracted. if I rejected to talk to someone or not acknowledge their existence, that would be racist. but I don't have to meet 2 billion people to know I am not attracted.
I also think that it's a matter of preferences only. You would be racist if you thought that asian people are superior to all others or treated badly (and despised) people of other nations.
I can't say I really understand it, because I find attractive people who are white, asian, black etc, I mean each race has attractive and not so attractive people. But this only is an example to the saying that tastes differ, that's it.
I can't say I really understand it, because I find attractive people who are white, asian, black etc, I mean each race has attractive and not so attractive people. But this only is an example to the saying that tastes differ, that's it.
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