alone on valentine's day

jc2239

O.G.
Nov 28, 2005
4,818
8
my only thing is my boyfriend always handled my anti-virus stuff and it's expired and i don't know what to do :sad2:

but just continually coming back here and seeing the new posts and reading all ur words of support keeps my smiling and strong.....honestly without you people i think i'd be calling him and telling him im' sorry (even though i don't know what i'd be sorry for) out of fear of being alone

law school is keeping me incredibly busy but just having trouble focusing and i find myself shopping like crazy online i think just to distract myself

thank u all sososo much for ur posts/thoughts/hugs........i've seriously never seen such a supportive group of ppl
 

Cristina

Member
Oct 23, 2005
12,994
39
jc2239 said:
my only thing is my boyfriend always handled my anti-virus stuff and it's expired and i don't know what to do :sad2:

but just continually coming back here and seeing the new posts and reading all ur words of support keeps my smiling and strong.....honestly without you people i think i'd be calling him and telling him im' sorry (even though i don't know what i'd be sorry for) out of fear of being alone

law school is keeping me incredibly busy but just having trouble focusing and i find myself shopping like crazy online i think just to distract myself

thank u all sososo much for ur posts/thoughts/hugs........i've seriously never seen such a supportive group of ppl

Buy new anti-virus. You can go to CompUSA or Circuit City and pick up Norton for around $40. Sometimes they have a mail-in-rebate special :amuse: It's easy to install, run the updates and virus scans.

A lot of us have experienced what you're going through, and we're proof that you'll make it through this tough time :biggrin: Now is the time to concentrate on you, your studies, your career and your future. You don't have anyone holding you back, you don't have anyone to think about but yourself when making decisions. That's a good thing! :nuts:
 

Greendrv

backstage pass
Sep 13, 2005
1,740
1
jc, I know it's been said to death, but you did that right thing. And while it may hurt right now, your future is still a broad, open horizon with so many new adventures awaiting you. You definitely didn't need his dead weight.
 

Vlad

Founder
Admin
O.G.
Mar 16, 1980
17,470
10,236
Cristina said:
Buy new anti-virus. You can go to CompUSA or Circuit City and pick up Norton for around $40. Sometimes they have a mail-in-rebate special :amuse: It's easy to install, run the updates and virus scans.

A lot of us have experienced what you're going through, and we're proof that you'll make it through this tough time :biggrin: Now is the time to concentrate on you, your studies, your career and your future. You don't have anyone holding you back, you don't have anyone to think about but yourself when making decisions. That's a good thing! :nuts:


Screw Norton, it's junk. Get the free AVG AntiVirus software.

http://free.grisoft.com/doc/2/lng/us/tpl/v5

Go down and download the AVG Free for Windows installation file. One of the best AV suites and it's free as well.
 

Cristina

Member
Oct 23, 2005
12,994
39
Vlad said:
Screw Norton, it's junk. Get the free AVG AntiVirus software.

http://free.grisoft.com/doc/2/lng/us/tpl/v5

Go down and download the AVG Free for Windows installation file. One of the best AV suites and it's free as well.

Actually, I have AVG. I was just suggesting Norton since it's the most common virus protection software, and it's probably easier to use for someone who is new to running AV software and isn't familiar with it.
 

xikry5talix

kry5tal...get it?!:]
O.G.
Jan 3, 2006
3,661
10
jc2239, I'm so sorry! My boyfriend and I broke up once because of his addiction to games. It was CS, then GB, then another game...and another game. I finally just sat him down and asked "games or me". Sounds drastic, but I couldn't take it anymore. I really don't understand why guys get SOO into their games. Like, I would be over at his house, and he would be on his laptop playing games instead of talking to me.

I'm sure once he realizes what a gem he's given up, he'll come crawling back to you! But you'll already be so over him!

Maybe you should try having a girl's night out! After being in a relationship for so long, sometimes it's just so refreshing to finally go out with the ladies and do whatever you please.

Or work out to help keep your mind off of him. And the next time he sees you, he'll be thinking..DAMNNN I should have quit all those games!
 

Vlad

Founder
Admin
O.G.
Mar 16, 1980
17,470
10,236
Cristina said:
Actually, I have AVG. I was just suggesting Norton since it's the most common virus protection software, and it's probably easier to use for someone who is new to running AV software and isn't familiar with it.
Norton bloats the system and slows it down. I don't think that AVG is that hard to work with after a little bit of playing around with it.
 

Cristina

Member
Oct 23, 2005
12,994
39
Vlad said:
Norton bloats the system and slows it down. I don't think that AVG is that hard to work with after a little bit of playing around with it.

You sound like my boyfriend, that's pretty much what he said when he switched all of our computers from Norton to AVG.

At work we have E-Trust Antivirus from Computer Associates. I find that one a lot harder to work with. I accidentally got a virus on my system and our IT guy even had problems running AV software he had chosen for our network :lol:

Sorry, jc! Didn't mean to hijack your thread. Listen to Vlad. He's a lot more knowledgeable about this tech stuff :amuse:
 

jc2239

O.G.
Nov 28, 2005
4,818
8
cristina feel free to hijack away just reading this is so informative to me....i'd tried installing mcafee or mc something but it totally froze up my computer and i've had norton until now.....

over this weekend i'll try out vlad's suggestino and see if my technologically-inept mind can figure it out :shame:
 

Megs

I love bags
Admin
O.G.
Sep 13, 2005
34,465
7,638
jc2239 said:
oh btw ladies.....i just wanted to say that i'm feeling sooooooo much better.......you guys are like an extended family and i feel like i know each of you (and your bag collections :P)..........just hearing your words of support/anecdotes and knowing i'm not the only girl with game issues puts a smile on my face........

and hearing vlad's story and just seeing the photos of vlad and megs and how spportive they are of each other (just creating the forum/blog and everything) gives me hope that i'll find the perfect guy for me......

the only thing i'm really going to miss is that my boyfriend always did make me feel like i was beautiful.........

Sorry I did not get to this sooner!!!! I have had some very very busy weeks but I will be around a lot more now!

About your story.. Vlad called me right away and told me what you posted. And it really hits home with me and the Mr. Like Vlad said, he was addicted. I went to spend my summer with him in Europe, and when I got there he would set his alarm to wake up early and play that game. I kid you not! It took me yelling quite a bit and telling him that he could lose some of the most important things in his life for him to kick the habit/addiction. And finally, he kicked it completely.

I am really sorry to hear what you are going through and I am sure you are hurting so bad. But realize that these are your feelings about the situation and that means a lot. He may decide he will change, but if not do remember that you are more than WORTH his time! You deserve the best and don't settle for less!!

I am here for you, along with the other 2,000 + members! :love:
 

SoyBean001

Member
Dec 8, 2005
493
0
Hey JC, SUPER BIG HUGS to you....

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through such a horrible time, but at the same time, I'm really glad that you chose to share it here to the PF ladies than suffer alone! You did the right thing in both regards.

You know, the computer obsession is definitely a real and nasty problem. This part of your BF's problem is exactly what my best friend went through with her BF several ago too. Anyways, she finally managed to give him the boot, and let me say- boy was I happy! I hated hearing how miserable my friend was, and how computer games always dominated what should of been quality time and more loving! I can really sympathize with how you were feeling, but trust me, like I told my friend....much better is deserved!! No matter what age, I have heard boys and men create huge relationship problems over their computer game obsession...

Also, on my end here, I can also personally relate. When I was in my senior year of high school, and through my college career, I had dated one guy for also 5 years of my life. I was absolutely convinced that he was the one for me, and could not picture being able to really do things on my own without him! I had gotten so use to having him around and being there.....

But JC, trust me, you will realize how much more you are capable of doing on you own! Additionally, your time away from him will also allow you to see how much you can do for yourself in providing for your own happiness. I made a lot of realizations after my break up....mostly that I had allowed myself to settle too long when I was unhappy and knew I deserved more!

JC, I know 5 years is a long time, especially when you have one of those relationships that start when you are much younger....those high school sweethearts. However, I know this if often repeated, but with enough time and space, you'll be more firmly convinced later that this was the right decision! It will be hard in the meantime, but hey, you also have a whole community of women around you! I should know.....i was really depressed and went on the huge rant here a few weeks ago about how my awful my future mother-in-law treated me! I cried a lot, but after sharing it here and receiving so much support, I'm glad I didn't decide to suffer it alone!

If you need anymore advice or want someone to talk to, you can always PM or email me. Please, don't be like this :cry: alone, when we have much:love: to give you!
 

cougess

O.G.
Jan 5, 2006
1,732
12
JC - It hurts, but as you can see from this thread, lots of people have been in the same place and we all survived. When I was a 2L in law school, my bf of 6 years (I met him the first day of college) broke up with me for someone else. At the time, I thought it was the absolute end of the world!! I was so upset and thought my life was over. Years later, I can barely remember him. But, I can tell you that I'm about to make partner at a big firm and he has a solo practice in a small town (doing slip and falls and dui's) - so , in the end, everything will work out for the best!! To the extent you can, focus on law school, your education will always be there for you allowing you to be financially independent, no matter what happens. The last thing you want to do is end up supporting this guy financially when he either can't get a job or gets fired bc of his addition. :sick:
 

bethany

O.G.
Dec 29, 2005
705
1
I have been alone on a lot of Valentine's Days...I honestly think that this may be the best thing for you, having a secret relationship for that long must have been stressful and demanding on you, and law school is enough! A guy who just takes and takes from you and barely gives anything isn't worth keeping.
I strongly believe that people need to be alone for a period of their lives. People (especially women) who go from once relationship straight into another one and over and over again are always going to be dependant. I think that once someone learns to be happy alone, they're set for life. Don't be afraid of it. You'll find an awesome person someday and until then, justlive your life and do what you want to do.

please don't think I'm being harsh about the loneliness thing...I really do know what it's like to be lonely. But I think introspection is important for everybody, relationships or not. Anyway, we're here for you.
 

Irissy

Balenciaga's lover
O.G.
Oct 29, 2005
10,729
83
::Lots of hugs going your way:: I know that being a law student, especially as a 1L can be really tough at a time like this. Studying endless hrs over civil procedure or real property can make your life dull and in serious need of attn and affection from your significant other. I notice majority of my classmates have bfs that do NOT understand the pain of going thru law school and thus they always ended up going their separate ways before the end of their 1st yr in law. I think it's very important to find a man that really understands your career choice or possible "mirrors" your busy life style. You don't want someone who nags about why you can't spend time with him because you spend all your waking hrs studying cases, but you also don't want someone who doesn't have the time for you when you need him to be there for you. Or of you're like me, I get annoyed if I'm studying my butt off here and my man is out partying his heart out w/o me (luckily mine doesn't do that).

I'm very lucky to find my bf who's as nerdy and busy as me when it comes to academic. We both know our #1 priority at this time is to finish school and we're willing to sacrifice seeing each other on a daily or weekly basis (because we know we'll have the world to ourselves in the future). Heck, I only see him once a month during school and it's mostly a phone-to-phone relationship but it works out for both of us and we've been happily together for 4 yrs now. It takes alot of understanding and sitting down to get to where we are today.

You have your whole life ahead of you and you shouldn't waste your time over this immature guy who rather chooses some video games over you. At this time, why don't you go out with friends and try to relax a bit and clear your mind. Time will heal everything and when you're not looking, the right guy will come to you. You just wait and see...

Take care and be STRONG!! We're all here for you hon...
 
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