alone on valentine's day

fayden

latest obsession :
O.G.
Nov 18, 2005
8,248
5,618
sometimes i feel like the internet gets in the way of spending real time with me and my bf. quality time you know? it's almost non existent. sometimes we'll both surf on our laptops right next to each other, and instead of talking, we IM instead. it gets me really upset sometimes.

give it time, maybe he will realise his way of behaving and maybe he will come around, but will you be able to give it another try?
 

jc2239

O.G.
Nov 28, 2005
4,818
8
honestly my boyfriend knows he's addicted.....he's told me he is....he just doesn't care enough to do anything about it.....

his response is pretty much.....i go to class....i work a few days a week......leave me alone and let me play my game on my own time (charming, isn't he? :oh:)....plus his friends play too......

i even tried playing the game for him but i've just never been a game person (my brain works in strange ways.....just can't wrap its head around game rules)..........i've told him i'm not asking for all his time i just want a reasonable amount of attention.....like when i'm asking him questions or trying to make plans for us i'd appreciate a response......if i hadn't always been bugging him and making plans for us we'd have seen each other probably once a month

know i said this already but vlad and megs are so lucky.........seems like love (and good old common sense) snapped you out of your obsession.....i sooo admire that you deleted your charater i know my boyfriend would rather lose me than do that.....

fayden...i feel like once i'm over him i'll be fine and even if he comes around it'll be too late..........i've been fighting that stupid game (and other games) for his attention for so long and he's just so bad about paying attention to me (will leave the computer in the middle of conversations and just never tell me and come back like 2 hours later) that i'm pretty fed up.....

i've been spending a ridiculous amount of time on the forum lately.......really helps take your mind off reality......love it.....
 

pseub

Bonne vivante
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Oct 24, 2005
4,000
12
I wanted to second what Amanda said, and just add that we ALL deserve someone for whom we are the most important thing on the planet, and shouldn't settle for anything less.

On another more cosmic, "new age-y" note, one thing I've learned is that to get what you want in life, you have to create space for it. Just like cleaning out a closet frees up space for new clothes, jettisoning those relationships that don't support us creates a space for those that do.

It sounds like you've absolutely done the right thing for you, and how strong you are to recognize that and be able to take the harder path! You will get through this, and as tough as the timing is, you've freed yourself up for new, healthier and more supportive relationships. Good for you!
 

kathyrose

The Bargain Hunter
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Dec 12, 2005
17,496
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Mine plays games too but knows when to stop (even though he plays a lot). It almost got to the point where our relationship almost didn't make it. But we compromised. Doesn't sound like your guy wanted to (cause mine wasn't mean to me or anything and paid attention when I needed it). If you've been fighting for him for so long and he doesn't see what you are fighting for, it's time that you take time for yourself. You know what you want and it's not that. Hopefully he will come to his senses.
 

Nefredity

I Love My 000 Rocks!
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Jan 6, 2006
844
0
I am so sorry ...you know what, my husband plays game like crazy too.....and at one point he just played and played all day everyday (yes it's WOW)... we fought over it of course and we had a rough time..... and then we got into agreement that I would play the game with him together (at least I don't feel left out) as long as he would do whatever I like whenever I like sometime. I guess it's not too bad of a solution even though I cannot break his game habit, at least he's better now. Like they say, if you cannot beat them, join them :nuts: I can't really blame him, game is his hobby and he was like that before I met him. So I guess I just accept who he is and try to find a balance that my husband and I are both happy.
But if your bf doesn't even want to make any changes for you, then he's not worth it...
 

jc2239

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Nov 28, 2005
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8
we'd actually reached a compromise that he'd play until like 10-11 and then it'd be me time but he stuck by that for about 3 days and then was back to his old habits.....

nefredity.....i'm glad that at least you can enjoy it with him.....i'm just really not a game person and honestly i really don't have the time for games as a first year law student.....if i did i'd try to maybe get more into it for him but im' at the point in my life where i can't do that for him (and with the way he's been treating me i don't particulately want to anymore)
 

jc2239

O.G.
Nov 28, 2005
4,818
8
oh btw ladies.....i just wanted to say that i'm feeling sooooooo much better.......you guys are like an extended family and i feel like i know each of you (and your bag collections :P)..........just hearing your words of support/anecdotes and knowing i'm not the only girl with game issues puts a smile on my face........

and hearing vlad's story and just seeing the photos of vlad and megs and how spportive they are of each other (just creating the forum/blog and everything) gives me hope that i'll find the perfect guy for me......

the only thing i'm really going to miss is that my boyfriend always did make me feel like i was beautiful.........
 

kathyrose

The Bargain Hunter
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Dec 12, 2005
17,496
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jc2239 said:
we'd actually reached a compromise that he'd play until like 10-11 and then it'd be me time but he stuck by that for about 3 days and then was back to his old habits.....
If he won't budge, just leave it as it is. You're too good to be just waiting around for him to come around. You could be doing other stuff like catching up with friends or be with someone else that is more attune to your wants and needs.

You're young, you're beautiful and you got everything else going for you. If he can't get his act together to keep you, he's not worth it. Even if you've been together for so long. I mean it. It's not worth you dying inside little by little everday.

You will meet the perfect guy who will treasure you for who and what you are.
 

Cristina

Member
Oct 23, 2005
12,994
39
jc2239 said:
oh btw ladies.....i just wanted to say that i'm feeling sooooooo much better.......you guys are like an extended family and i feel like i know each of you (and your bag collections :P)..........just hearing your words of support/anecdotes and knowing i'm not the only girl with game issues puts a smile on my face........

and hearing vlad's story and just seeing the photos of vlad and megs and how spportive they are of each other (just creating the forum/blog and everything) gives me hope that i'll find the perfect guy for me......

the only thing i'm really going to miss is that my boyfriend always did make me feel like i was beautiful.........

You should feel beautiful, because you are :biggrin:

It will take some time, but things will get better. This is a rough time of the year to end a relationship (I broke up with my ex around Valentine's Day four years ago), but to me it sounds like the right decision was made. If he puts a computer game before spending time with you, it sounds like he's not mature enough to be in a real relationship. My bf and I spend time on our laptops, but we know our limits and spend time together every evening, away from the Internet and computer/XBox.

Be strong, you will get through this! :biggrin:
 

jc2239

O.G.
Nov 28, 2005
4,818
8
Nefredity said:
Have you ever talked your problem with your bf? ...how you feel by the way he's treating you when he's playing game? I mean you have 5 years relationship with him... that's not that short

i've been talking to him about this for i'm sure at least a year now.......i tell him how i feel and stuff........i know he's thinking stupid girl threw away our relationship and wasted five years of my life over nothing but he would just belittle my feelings or make me feel like i was being incredibly selfish........his attitude has always been completely unapologetic, like a this is me, i'm gonna do what i wanna do u need to deal with it........plus i'm not a fighter (people walk all over me......i honestly just don't like saying mean things to other ppl) and i'm sick of fighting for what i feel he as my boyfriend should do for my because he loves me and not because i nag him......

i don't mean to sound like a brat but i just want to be treated the way i feel i deserve to be treated (the way i feel any girl who's truly loved deserves to be treated)

and thanks cristina.....i feel like these hugely romatic holidays/anniversaries really do make you reevalute where you are in youre relationship, as star said.........and if you can't fix it, guess you gotta throw it away
 

jane

since '05
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Sep 28, 2005
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It's not bratty to expect to be respected and treated well. At all.

I was a doormat in a relationship too, once, and when I finally ended it, I promised myself I would never put up with any kind of abuse ever again. You shouldn't either. This man does not deserve you; forget him. He's a child.

Online game addiction is a recognized addiction. It is very real, just like an addiction to gambling. A close friend of mine almost lost her marriage to it, and she was even pregnant at the time. Fortunately he agreed to counseling and now they are better than ever and have a beautiful young son. The difference is that they are in their 30s and this guy was mature enough to admit and treat his problem.

A year after I ended my emotionally abusive relationship, I met my husband. I was finally ready for someone good and kind and respectful and honest, and that's when he showed up.

You will attract the kind of man you feel you deserve, so don't settle for anything less.
 

Everevereve

I wanna new MJ.
Jan 4, 2006
1,449
6
jc2239 said:
i've been talking to him about this for i'm sure at least a year now.......i tell him how i feel and stuff........i know he's thinking stupid girl threw away our relationship and wasted five years of my life over nothing but he would just belittle my feelings or make me feel like i was being incredibly selfish........his attitude has always been completely unapologetic, like a this is me, i'm gonna do what i wanna do u need to deal with it........plus i'm not a fighter (people walk all over me......i honestly just don't like saying mean things to other ppl) and i'm sick of fighting for what i feel he as my boyfriend should do for my because he loves me and not because i nag him......

i don't mean to sound like a brat but i just want to be treated the way i feel i deserve to be treated (the way i feel any girl who's truly loved deserves to be treated)

and thanks cristina.....i feel like these hugely romatic holidays/anniversaries really do make you reevalute where you are in youre relationship, as star said.........and if you can't fix it, guess you gotta throw it away

Oh.......:hug: You are such a strong girl, and deep down you know you are. Everything will eventually be alright. Stay strong.
 

lmpsola

Member
Sep 13, 2005
3,900
0
I hope you feel so much better. Hugs and kisses.
I know you can get through it. I don't know how you feel, but at least tried to know that you are some one very special, who deserves only the BEST. Nothing less. He didn't realize how special you were, then he is an idiot. I know forgetting is very hard, but once you do, and you find someone that shares your same goals, and visions, you will be sooo glad this happened, and to realize that you were wasting your time on him. Girl, it may seem like the end of the day, but let me tell you something, I am 20, and I have never had a boyfriend. Yeah believe it or not!
Use this time to think about yourself, and put things in perspective. If this moron comes back, ignore him, let him go, you gave him a lot of your time, and he wasted. He didn't even realize how valuable you are. So to summarize it, I know you will be good. You will be glad you let go of him. Take care,
lmpsola
 
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