Workplace After Interview Thank you letters - is this too long? or too much?

sheishollywood

sheishollywood

LiveLaughLove
O.G.
Nov 29, 2006
4,374
23
#1
Hey PF'ers!




Please help me! I really want this role and it's funny because I know a lot of business friends who work within this company but because we have to keep things confidential it is exciting but pretty nerve wrecking! one of my best guy friends, friend works as a sales manager for this entertainment company and I had interviewed at a different department. He said he couldn't tell me about the feedback (of course he can't...) but all he can say is that they were very impressed. So I wanted to send a quick thank you note but not sure if this sounds a bit too pushy? I wanted to make it sound as personal as possible. Throughout the interview with both we really got down to the cultural fit and the type of person that would fit in this organization. I came from a very toxic environment and I really wanted to expand that because they work hard to keep their environment positive which is what is important to me in my next move.




Let me know what you guys thinks! thanks!




ps. I met with the manager and the director but I didn't have the director email...






Hi ***,

I wanted to send you a quick email to say thank you for meeting with me today. I apologize, I don't have **** email so if you get the chance, please relay my thanks to him as well.

It was great chatting with you about ***(the division) and ** entertainment and the values that seperate you from ordinary working environments to exceptional working environments. When I had began my new career search, I had a few things that were key and important to me when finding a new organization to join (such as passion, positivity, and personal and profesional growth). Throughout our conversation it became clear as to where I would like to put my energy and dedication. I am very impressed with the level of support you are offering to the new employee's that come on board to your team and the positive working environments that you strive to keep.

In addition to my enthusiasm to learn more about this industry, I know my commitment to succeed will allow me to exceed all expectations for this role.

I understand that you still need to connect with **** and if there is any additional questions, please feel free to contact me. I am excited to see what the next steps are.

I look forward to hearing from you.



:tdown:? :tup: ?:confused1::confused1::confused1:
 
#2
sheishollywood said:
Hey PF'ers!




Please help me! I really want this role and it's funny because I know a lot of business friends who work within this company but because we have to keep things confidential it is exciting but pretty nerve wrecking! one of my best guy friends, friend works as a sales manager for this entertainment company and I had interviewed at a different department. He said he couldn't tell me about the feedback (of course he can't...) but all he can say is that they were very impressed. So I wanted to send a quick thank you note but not sure if this sounds a bit too pushy? I wanted to make it sound as personal as possible. Throughout the interview with both we really got down to the cultural fit and the type of person that would fit in this organization. I came from a very toxic environment and I really wanted to expand that because they work hard to keep their environment positive which is what is important to me in my next move.




Let me know what you guys thinks! thanks!




ps. I met with the manager and the director but I didn't have the director email...






Hi ***,

I wanted to send you a quick email to say thank you for meeting with me today. I apologize, I don't have **** email so if you get the chance, please relay my thanks to him as well.

It was great chatting with you about ***(the division) and ** entertainment and the values that seperate you from ordinary working environments to exceptional working environments. When I had began my new career search, I had a few things that were key and important to me when finding a new organization to join (such as passion, positivity, and personal and profesional growth). Throughout our conversation it became clear as to where I would like to put my energy and dedication. I am very impressed with the level of support you are offering to the new employee's that come on board to your team and the positive working environments that you strive to keep.

In addition to my enthusiasm to learn more about this industry, I know my commitment to succeed will allow me to exceed all expectations for this role.

I understand that you still need to connect with **** and if there is any additional questions, please feel free to contact me. I am excited to see what the next steps are.

I look forward to hearing from you.



:tdown:? :tup: ?:confused1::confused1::confused1:
Click to expand...


Perfect length, I'm a Senior Corporate Recruiter, you'd be surprised how few people actually send a thank you email or letter, tsk, tsk, tsk. Good luck! :tup:​
 
#4
I think the content is fine and length okay but there are some grammatical errors and myself, I would stay away from saying "chatting".

If I remain interested in a position after an interview I always send a thank you letter.
 
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#5
I think your letter is very good.
JMO -
I would put in what you can bring to the table now. You want to separate yourself from the pack of those they are interviewing.
Even if you have no contacts or worked in this industry before, use your drive to succeed, positive attitude, & energy level as an asset.
I always sent a letter to those jobs I wanted. Wish I still had a copy of it to pass on.
 
#6
Did you cut and paste this email? It's very good, but there are some grammatical errors.

In the 2nd paragraph, you misspelled "separate" and "professional." I'd also remove the parenthesis and just use a comma between the words "join" and "such."

I'd also remove the word "chatting." You want your letter to sound business formal. IMO I'd write, "I immensely enjoyed discussing with you the ***(the division) and ** entertainment...etc."

I'd also not use the word "environment" twice in the same sentence. It's very repetitive. Can you substitute the 2nd "environment" for "atmosphere?"

I'd also add "in mind" after where you wrote "When I had began my new career search, I had a few things..."

Also in the last sentence of the 2nd paragraph, "employee's" should be "employees."

In the 4th paragraph, "is" should be "are." Also, I'd change "I am excited to see what the next steps are" instead to something along the lines of "I remain highly interested in this position and look forward to hearing from you."

Those are just some tips. (Sorry, I'm a writer and it irks me when I see wrong grammar. It's like my fingers take over the keyboard and I just HAVE to correct them.) :P lol! Good luck with the job! I'll cross my fingers! :tup:
 
#8
VERY, very important to make sure you correct all grammatical errors (and other errors)! In the following sentence:
When I had began my new career search, I had a few things that were key and important to me when finding a new organization to join (such as passion, positivity, and personal and profesional growth).

had began is incorrect - change it to "When I began". Remove "key and" - it's not necessary. Also - I don't believe "positivity" is a word, and I think you already know "professional" is the correct spelling.

Don't get me wrong - I get very wordy when writing, so I know I have to severely edit everything I write BEFORE sending it anywhere! Using fewer words to get your point across is ALWAYS better!
 
#9
Great letter in tone and positioning. I agree with the other posters regarding the grammatical and spelling errors and word choice ("chatting").

One thing I strongly recommend is to get the Director's email address and email a thank you to him/her directly vs asking the Manager to pass along your thanks for you. It seems too casual to ask this, and it could be perceived that you're a little flippant about thanking the Director for his/her time, KWIM? Also, I'm assuming the director is a level above the manager and thus it would be more respectful to send him/her a thank you directly.

You said you have a good friend who works at the company already? Ask him for the Director's email or call the HR person/recruiter and ask for it.

Good luck and hope you get the job! :tup:
 
#10
Also agree that it's a bit long ... stay more along the lines of thank you for your time, and I'd love to work here. I also would say "Dear" as the greeting instead of "Hi."
 
#12
Hey everyone.

Thanks for all your help so far. Before I had the chance to email a letter they had already called me to move forward to a second stage! The next steps is to do a profiling test and then we can move forward to the final interview (which is the offer stage). I have already had an initial phone screening, a formal phone interview, a face to face with both the manager and director and now I'm onto the profiling test. So judging now that I am pretty deep into the interviewing stages I went to the store today to buy two thank you cards instead. I wrote directly to both of them and since there wasn't as much space I kept it short and simple. I said thank you and let them know that I am very much interested in the opportunity.

It should reach them before my next interview for the profiling test.

:smile:
 
#13
Hey She, congrats on getting to the 2nd stage! I'm really excited for you!

You've received a ton of great advice on your thank you draft, and I would just add/underscore that along with the grammatical corrections to make sure it's a slightly more formal tone than typical day to day business email.

Since I come from the era of sending thank yous via snail mail, I know that is just too slow now given how quickly things move. But since I'm also job interviewing too, I've kept in mind to keep the email thank you of the same tone as if I was writing a snail mail letter, if that makes sense. Meaning, using "Dear" as a salutation and "Sincerely" as a closing, for example.
 
#15
I would get rid of "I wanted to send you a quick e-mail..." If it comes by way of e-mail, no need to state the obvious.

All of the above comments, but do not make it long. It should be short, concise and to the point. Good luck on getting the job.
 
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