Workplace Advice on personal grooming for a coworker?

vannarene

Member
Feb 6, 2013
855
4
Las Vegas
I work with a guy who is young, 23, and has recently lost a lot of weight and has been working on beefing himself up with muscle. He's really proud of himself and is very confident in himself these days. He's a total dork, still, and is somewhat clueless about relationships and girls. Very naive. In our work environment, often we have to be in close proximity to fellow coworkers and customers. He never smells bad like b.o. but rather musky and his clothes smell stale, like they were in the back of the closet for years and he just pulled them out and threw them on.

We are both equals and in the same age range and he talks about personal things with me, like girl problems and such. I feel like I should tell him to use Gain and wear cologne or something but I'm worried of not wording it nicely and hurting his feelings. Or, is it just not my place and I should let him figure it out on his own?
 

HauteMama

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O.G.
Sep 22, 2006
11,481
436
As long as he isn't offensive to coworkers and the office, I would leave it be. A coworker commenting on how someone smelled would be very offensive to me, even if I were not the one in question, and it borders on harassment to use your personal standards of odor to chastise this guy. If he gets himself a SO, they will either like his scent or encourage him to change it, but that is far more acceptable from an intimate than a coworker, IMO. If it ever got to the point where he was offensive to the office, it would have to come from a supervisor and not from an equal.
 

vannarene

Member
Feb 6, 2013
855
4
Las Vegas
As long as he isn't offensive to coworkers and the office, I would leave it be. A coworker commenting on how someone smelled would be very offensive to me, even if I were not the one in question, and it borders on harassment to use your personal standards of odor to chastise this guy. If he gets himself a SO, they will either like his scent or encourage him to change it, but that is far more acceptable from an intimate than a coworker, IMO. If it ever got to the point where he was offensive to the office, it would have to come from a supervisor and not from an equal.
I totally understand. The only reason I consider it is because we have "unprofessional" conversations about his "love life" and our environment is also more on the casual side. He's just trying so hard to improve himself and appeal to the opposite sex and smell is such a huge factor. He is always wondering why girls aren't really interested in him and I'm almost positive that's the main reason.
 

Trinityemily

Member
Oct 20, 2012
40
0
Perhaps you can recommend him some clothes washing detergent and mention that girls like strong flora detergent and smells attracts ? :biggrin:
 
Apr 15, 2007
63,130
6,710
Love life is one matter grooming is another...

If he did mention that a girl was intimate with him & perhaps she made a comment
that he was sensitive about & shared that with you, that opens the door to share
some thoughts... but even in that case, I'd choose my words very carefully
 

walk-unafraid

Butterflies & Books
Feb 12, 2010
1,764
8
@ The Library!
Or suggest he "save time" by using a laundry service.

If he's already coming to you for romantic advice, I'm sure there's a way for you to bring this up without hurting his feelings. He sounds like he would be receptive.
 

clu13

Shoe and Bag Addict
O.G.
Oct 12, 2008
11,790
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Charlotte, NC
When I get perfume, I sometimes get samples of the men's version. Maybe you could say you bought x perfume and they have you some mens samples. (Calvin Klein does this a lot) And ask if he wants them as you would otherwise toss them.
 

gazoo

O.G.
Aug 26, 2006
8,596
2,061
US
It's a tricky situation. I'd keep it strictly professional and not mention anything. HR issues and perceived harassment are no joke. You mean well and I understand, but I've seen scenarios like this bite the person trying to help.
 
Apr 15, 2007
63,130
6,710
It's a tricky situation. I'd keep it strictly professional and not mention anything. HR issues and perceived harassment are no joke. You mean well and I understand, but I've seen scenarios like this bite the person trying to help.

This!!
 
Feb 26, 2010
730
1
It's a tricky situation. I'd keep it strictly professional and not mention anything. HR issues and perceived harassment are no joke. You mean well and I understand, but I've seen scenarios like this bite the person trying to help.

+1. I have a male coworker who dresses very hipster with clashing colors in a strict business environment and although we have heard clients poke fun of him, all of us women are uncomfortable speaking with him in case of potential HR issues. I would leave it alone unless the smell is truly offensive to you.
 

nikimenz

Member
Jul 28, 2014
393
1
start creeping up behind him and spraying him with cologne.
if he catches you, pretend it's mouth spray and spray it in your mouth
 

jess236

Member
Apr 4, 2011
1,310
985
If he tells you about his girl troubles, then you are close enough to sneak it into the conversation as a joke that is not really related to him. For example, you know pheromones attract the opposite sex, why don't you try a cologne and see if it works...Just plant the idea in his mind, and maybe he'll follow up on his own.