Advice on heartbroken cat

Hessefan

Hessefan

O.G.
Sep 14, 2009
2,416
552
#1
So, since we lost our cat on monday, her brother has been a bit down in the dumps and keeps looking for her outside and under the couch etc., in places she often went to. He has never been without her since they were born, and the fact that they were close and there were two of them made it so much more comforting for us to go away for a holiday or a weekend, as people would come and feed them, but they had each other for company and to play. I wouldn't go away if I had to leave him in a cattery, and I'd feel terrible if he was home alone.

We are now wondering whether it would be wise to get another cat as company for him? Anyone have experience with this?

I have some concerns, mainly that I don't know if our cat would actually bond with a new cat he didn't grew up with. He is the most easy-going cat anyone ever met, always happy and purring and good with visitors or at the vet's. He's not scared of anything and always up for adventure.

We also have a dog, who hates all cats apart from our own and will try to chase them. It took us three or four weeks to get him to accept the kittens we brought in two years ago, and they all bonded.
I'd rather adopt a cat who has no home than get a kitten. I don't know how we could get him used to an adult cat, without freaking out the cat in the process and having her hide under the couch because he is trying to chase her, and whether the new cat would even get along with our cat? And if for that reason we did get a kitten instead, so it could get used to the dog, would our cat like to have one around?
I am currently home all day, so would have lots of time to dedicate to them all getting along.
My husband has caught our cat with a neighbour's cat just sitting in the garden, as if they were friends, so that leads me to believe he would have no major problems with it. He is only two so hopefully has many years with us yet. But is it wise? Can another cat really ever be a companion and friend like his sister was?

Any thoughts or experiences would be much appreciated.
 
#2
I had two cats from the same litter, and one of them died when he was about 2. The other one was really lost and unhappy for a while. Guy (the cat who died) was the one who groomed both of them, and Clue just didn't know how to wash himself at all after his brother died! We'd even have to clean the crud out of his eyes in the morning.

I did think of getting another cat, but didn't know if he'd get as close to Clue as his brother was, and held off. Clue got better and seemed less lonely after a while, but for his whole life he was the most ill-groomed cat I ever saw.
 
#3
First, my condolenses over the loss of your cat. And hearing about how sad your other cat is just breaks my heart.

I don't have any experiences with cats as I have been just a dog owner all my life (though if it was a dog of mine I would get another dog).

Your cat is very young, which will help with bonding issues. As for filling the spot of your cat's sibling? No, of course not. Don't view a new cat as a replacement, but rather as a new companion for all of you.

I know our local shelter gets kittens in all the time, so if you are torn between wanting a kitten but also wanting a rescue cat, you are probably fine there.

Best of luck in whatever you decide. I'm sure you'll get a lot of helpful advice here.
 
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#4
First of all, I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your cat.

Second, I would give it a little time before you bring in another cat. It makes me sad to hear how depressed and lost your kitty must feel, but I think he needs a little bit of time. He is fairly young and I think he'll adjust okay to another cat, it will just take a while. Cats are generally pretty good about accepting other cats, the only real issues I've seen is bringing together two unneutered adult males.
 
#5
I'm so sorry about the loss of your cat. I know the remaining cat is going to be sad for a while, animals grieve just as we do. I do think it would be a good idea to get a friend for him so he is not lonely. Since he is young your best bet would probably be a kitten. There are plenty at shelters just waiting for a home. Try to find one that is easy going and not shy. Take extra time and introduce them slowly. And I don't want to sound insensitive but this is the second cat that has been hit by a car outside your house. You might want to consider making your remaining cat and his new friend indoor only cats. It is obviously not safe for a indoor/outdoor cat where you live. Good luck. I hope you find the perfect friend for your heartbroken boy.
 
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#6
sorry to hear about your kitty.

if your current cat is only 2 i think you will be very successful with bringing in a new cat. the older a cat is, the harder it is, but from my experiences if your cat is 5 or younger, bringing in a new pet is fairly easy. there may be some tension at first, but they will get over it. obviously bringing in a kitten to the situation will be easier, they tend to have the attitude of "i WILL get the other pets to like me!" and just sort of shove themselves into the situation and everyone else eventually calms down.

and i agree with cindi... if you're losing cats by them going outside... keep them inside PLEASE. not that i want to get on a soapbox but i do not understand how people let their beloved pets just outside free to roam around. anything could happen to them. even if they hardly wander off the property... you never know what could harm them.
 
#8
Oh poor you :sad: I am sorry about your cats. I have no advice as this has never happened to me but I would assume that the advice the other ladies have given you is sound. Maybe when he feels a bit better you can find him a buddy from the shelter.
 
#9
So sorry to hear about your cat.

I definitely think that if you're up for it, adopting another cat would be a great idea. I'm sure the staff at the shelter could help you select a social, friendly young cat that would be great with yours.
 
#10
lovelysarahg said:
I definitely think that if you're up for it, adopting another cat would be a great idea. I'm sure the staff at the shelter could help you select a social, friendly young cat that would be great with yours.
Click to expand...

^^ Agreed. Your cat would probably love a new companion(maybe not at first, but it would be worth it once they bonded!)

My condolences, I am so very sorry :cry: I couldn't imagine losing one of my cats...
 
#11
Well, I just spoke to two shelters to get some information, and they said that getting a new cat as a companion mostly doesn't work and that they get along fine when they grew up together, but not when they are brought together later on.
:shrugs:
 
#12
i dont agree with that necessarily....there are many people who get a second cat later on and they get along fine...i think that it depends on the personality of both cats....from what you said your cat is social with the neighbors cat so i dont see why he would not be accepting of another companion....
 
#13
A kitten is more likely to bond with a slightly older cat. Especially when the older cat is younger and your cat is very young. I think you should bring in a kitten. Two olders cats are less likely to bond. Now, all cats have different personalities, so there is no guarantee that they will bond, but they may or may not. I had two cats both two years old and I brought in two kittens when one died. The older cat bonded with one cat, they sleep and spend each moment together and to this day does the older one does not get along with the other younger cat.
 
#14
Hessefan said:
Well, I just spoke to two shelters to get some information, and they said that getting a new cat as a companion mostly doesn't work and that they get along fine when they grew up together, but not when they are brought together later on.
:shrugs:
Click to expand...

Hmm not sure where they got that from. I have seen all ages of cats brought in as companions to another cat. It depends on the personalities of the cats. Adding a kitten can be easier, but it isn't a sure fire thing.
I may be the lone dissener here. I would wait a bit before immediately adding another cat to the mix. Both you and your kitty need time to mourn and process everything. You can never wait too long to add another pet to the family, but you can definitely rush in and do it too soon.
 
#15
I think getting another cat would be a good idea, especially one from a shelter since there are so many without a home. It's really up to you and when or IF you're ready or want another pet. I know it's a tough situation :hugs:
 
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