Thanks for the advice everyone! Yes, we may wait a little until he has calmed down a bit and adjusted. I was just looking around a bit and trying to locate all the shelters as we just moved here last summer. I also thought a kitten would be best. Does it matter what sex it is (he's neutered)?
Advice on heartbroken cat
- Thread starter Hessefan
- Start date
being that young, it doesn't really matter. although i think females are more territorial. i had two male cats and found a stray female cat. she was only about 4-6 months old and my other cats were probably 3ish. the moment i brought her in she acted like she owned the place lol
Yes, well Bo (his sister) definitely owned the place. She used to chase him around the house when she was bored or just jump on him while he was sleeping innocently. She also had complete authority over the dog, even though as far as I know she never ever sctatched him. She'd go up to his bed and stand there until he'd yield his enormous dog bed to her and went to lay on the floor.
I felt a bit taken aback by the shelters I spoke to, because I just explained the situation and said we thought a young cat or kitten may be easier to introduce and bond with both our cat and the dog, and they treated me as if I had asked for kittens to be experimented on or someone's spare kidney.
We have a fairly big house, no children, and someone is mostly home. When the animals get sick we do our very best to get them treatment, no matter how expensive it is, and yet the shelters around here are so reluctant to give out any information whatsoever and most of them never pick up the phone or return calls. Last year we vaguely thought about getting a second dog, and the number of phonecalls I made and the lack of response eventually made me give up. The dog is out for 3-4 hours a day anyway, and plays with other dogs in the park, so I don't feel as sad for him being on his own with us.
I felt a bit taken aback by the shelters I spoke to, because I just explained the situation and said we thought a young cat or kitten may be easier to introduce and bond with both our cat and the dog, and they treated me as if I had asked for kittens to be experimented on or someone's spare kidney.
We have a fairly big house, no children, and someone is mostly home. When the animals get sick we do our very best to get them treatment, no matter how expensive it is, and yet the shelters around here are so reluctant to give out any information whatsoever and most of them never pick up the phone or return calls. Last year we vaguely thought about getting a second dog, and the number of phonecalls I made and the lack of response eventually made me give up. The dog is out for 3-4 hours a day anyway, and plays with other dogs in the park, so I don't feel as sad for him being on his own with us.
Last edited:
I'd give your cat some time to grieve like you are... you will find that cats change personalities after one is gone for some time (seen it in my parent's cats I grew up with), say if an Alpha cat dies the other one will adapt new attitudes, etc. If you have a dog, it's possible the cat and dog will bond together over the loss, or the cat bond more to the dog over the loss. I'm not saying ALL cats bounce back well over loss of another... but I'd look into some feliway spray (to try to calm the cat if it looks anxious or overly paranoid about the absence) to help spray a "calming marking scent" to chill the nerves.
I wish you best in whatever decision you deem the appropriate fit for your situation.
I wish you best in whatever decision you deem the appropriate fit for your situation.
Well, I just spoke to two shelters to get some information, and they said that getting a new cat as a companion mostly doesn't work and that they get along fine when they grew up together, but not when they are brought together later on.
I don't agree with that so much either. Every cat is different, and you know your cat best. I had a cat for 2 1/2 years and just this December decided to get a kitten(6 weeks old, a true kitten) and it has worked out perfect and now, 3 months later, they are inseparable! It's a few week process to get them introduced and acquainted, but it's worth it if it mends your cat's broken heart.
I guess it really depends on the personality of the cat. I picked up a litter of abandoned kittens(may be 2 weeks old) when my cat was about 7 years old. All the kittens had been rehomed except one. This 2-week old kitten has never been liked by my old cat. Now, 4 years later, the older cat still walks away whenever the younger cat approaches her. But the younger cat tries to lick the older cat at every opportunity!
Oh, cool! How did you get them introduced? And how did you pick the cat or determine if they would get along? I think he'd really like a companion, he's been seeking out our company a lot more since she's gone, sitting and sleeping with us or the dog. He just seems lonely, poor guy.
I told the lady at the shelter that we've seen him sitting in the garden with another cat, and she said that socialising outside is different than him living with another one and compared it to us humans, but I'm not sure you can. Besides, lots of humans like living with other people as well.
Really they said that?? Thats very strange. My cats are both shelter cats and neither one was ever together there and they get along just fine... I think it would really depend on the personalities too. My girl is a diva (like her name) and my boy is chicken so they spend some time together but mostly they do their own thing.
Well, I just spoke to two shelters to get some information, and they said that getting a new cat as a companion mostly doesn't work and that they get along fine when they grew up together, but not when they are brought together later on.
Frankly, that's a bunch of hooey.
We have 2 male cats who were introduced as adults. One of them was VERY territorial (unneutered) and would fight with our other cat, so were had concerns, but these 2 just hit it off. They get along so well, we call them littermates. They snuggle together, clean each other - and they were brought together later in life. And I'm talking about 2 adult males, one of whom was not neutered at the time! I've seen it happen many times. It may be a bit touchy at first, but they will get used to each other. Cats are great at adapting.
I think whoever you spoke with at those shelters didn't know what they were talking about.
^^Thanks for the link - it's great information!
I know it would take some time, especially since we have a dog to introduce, too, and he isn't keen on any cats but our own. Having said that he accepted ours after three weeks and they sleep together and clean each other all the time now. The cat sits waiting by the door when we come back from a walk and they greet each other.
When our cat was younger, he actually came on walks with the dog and me, at first I kept bringing him back to the house, but he was very adamant. I tested how far he would come and he walked all around the block and into the park with us, waiting while the dog did his business and then walking back with us. I got him a lead once, but he absolutely hated it.
I know it would take some time, especially since we have a dog to introduce, too, and he isn't keen on any cats but our own. Having said that he accepted ours after three weeks and they sleep together and clean each other all the time now. The cat sits waiting by the door when we come back from a walk and they greet each other.
When our cat was younger, he actually came on walks with the dog and me, at first I kept bringing him back to the house, but he was very adamant. I tested how far he would come and he walked all around the block and into the park with us, waiting while the dog did his business and then walking back with us. I got him a lead once, but he absolutely hated it.
I wonder if they are saying that to discourage you from getting another cat because your current cat is allowed outside unsupervised. Most shelters would rather not adopt to someone that is going to allow the cat outside unless it is a barn cat adoption. Any cats of any age can get along no matter how late in life they are introduced, it just depends on the cats. My mom had an 8 year old cat and just adopted a 7 year old retired breeder boy as a friend for him. They get along just fine and this cat has been an aggressive male all his life. He is fixed now. it only took about 3 days until they were sleeping on the same couch...not together but at least on the same couch. I would ask them their policy regarding indoor/outdoor cat adoption.
That's what I thought, but I didn't want to accuse the lady of not knowing what she is talking about. The second shelter said it was dangerous to bring a new cat into a house with a dog, which I am aware is a risk, but we have introduced two kittens to him before and would obviously not leave him in any position to harm the newcomer.
They never even asked about that, and for the cats on the websites it normally specifies whether they are outdoor or indoor cats. I don't really want to get into a discussion about outdoor/indoor cats here - I think that is topic for another thread.
i know someone that takes her cats for walks, actually the cats just walk with her as she walks! i thought it was the funniest thing ever! and i think she has 2-3 cats that she does this with. they just all go on a walk! she says one will get distracted with a tree but she'll just call his name and he'll come back over to her! lol