Advice Needed on the death of my beloved Darcey

Saich2

O.G.
Sep 4, 2006
3,343
85
United Kingdom
I wondered if anyone could give me your thoughts on what I should do.

Darcey my beloved English Setter died on Saturday. I had been nursing him since February, giving daily injections and tablets, just keep thinking, just give him one more day.......he went for walks OK and eat OK but in the end his weight had gone so down he was so thin and on Saturday I knew it was time, so held him told him I loved him so much covered his eyes while the vet injected him. Felt his last breath against my chest. I cannot stop crying and walk around the house so lost as I was in such a routine with hes feeds and medication.

Now I do not know what to do. All my past dogs have been buried in the garden, including Darceys brother who we only had for 3 years. When hes brother went we got Daisy another English Setter from rescue to keep Darcey company, they spent 7 happy years together.
My question is do you think I should bury his ashes with his brother and hes other friends in the garden of the house he knew all his life, or should I take his ashes with me as will be moving house next year. My daughter says I should bury him here but I am not sure. At the moment cannot think straight and feel like I have just been cut in two.
Any thoughts would be very appreciated.
 

coco5

Member
Oct 13, 2010
825
0
SF
I dont really know what to advise you. But I want you to know that Im thinking of you and Darcey.:sad: Its very hard to lose a pet.
Think that he enjoyed several happy years with you.
:hugs::hugs::hugs:
 

br00kelynx

O.G.
Apr 19, 2006
1,547
24
LA
I'm sorry about Darcey :sad:
I would wait to decide until it's passed a little and you can think clearly. Would you be okay leaving the ashes behind?
 

Saich2

O.G.
Sep 4, 2006
3,343
85
United Kingdom
I'm sorry about Darcey :sad:
I would wait to decide until it's passed a little and you can think clearly. Would you be okay leaving the ashes behind?
I do not know. I have 7 dogs which are buried in the garden, this is the hardest thing about leaving this house. Not worried about the house and leaving that just the graves, I have been here for 30 years and after a car accident decided it was time to move on. Darcey was only with 2 of the other dogs for 3 years, yet this was hes home. Do not know what to do as I pick up his ashes on Tuesday.
 
I would bury there. I took my sweet Belldandy and buried her at my parents place (not that she lived there, but as a family we all buried our pets together so they could have company) since I don't have a yard to use and I didn't feel comfortable with getting her turned to ashes. I think it helps (atleast for me) NOT to carry her on with me (in ashes form) as I need to move on from her death.
 

chessmont

O.G.
Aug 22, 2006
12,111
1,857
CA
I'm so sorry about your Darcy.

I have ashes I keep in the house in their boxes, I couldn't bear to move and leave them behind. I am accumulating a depressing cupboard full.
 
Aug 27, 2006
5,844
76
Seattle, WA
I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds as though Darcey had a wonderful, loving home with you & your family.

I encourage you to listen to your heart. The answer will be given to you. And, I know it will be just the right thing to do.

I just said goodbye to my beloved Harley on Monday and will be receiving his ashes later this month after a private cremation. Since I live in a condo, I really don't have a logical place to spread them at home. My sister lost her little lovebug, Molly, about three years ago. She has continued to hold on to her ashes, waiting for the right thing to do. After discussions over the last two days, we have decided to spread their ashes together this coming spring at the top of a hill that we passed on our walks. There is a small field there & we will also plant seeds of native wildflowers. Our hope is the flowers will bloom & delight others who pass by the way Harley & Molly delighted us.

Wishing you peace & comfort during this time. :heart:
 

Ladybug09

So Sweet!
O.G.
Aug 2, 2007
28,690
348
Born in the USA
Saich,

I don't know how to advise you on this. My Kobe died on Nov 15 and I chose to have private cremation as I live in a condo and would not have a place to bury his ashes. I also believe that because of my bond with Kobe, I made the final decision to keep his ashes and therefore keep him close to me.

I'm so sad to hear about Darcy, it is NEVER easy to lose a beloved compainion. I know that whatever decision you choose to make will be the best..

Harley, I'm sorry to hear of your loss also.

I wish you both the best.


ETA:

Saich, you could bury half of the ashes, and maybe keep a small portion in a piece of keepsake jewelry. I looked at this option and still may do this. The place where used had beautiful memorial jewelry. Unfortunately, they do not have online pics. I saw a link to the bracelet they had on site, but cannot link to it now. I will tr later. For now, below are some links for you.

http://www.sunsetpetservices.com/northern-va-pet-cremation-services-urns.htm

http://www.jewelrykeepsakes.com/Pet-Cremation-Jewelry-s/32.htm
http://www.jewelrykeepsakes.com/Dog-Memorial-Cremation-Jewelry-s/274.htm
http://www.jewelrykeepsakes.com/
http://www.ashestoashes.com/Keepsake_cremation_bracelet.htm

http://www.keepsakejewellery.com.au/Memorial_Bracelets_s/55.htm
 

smallfry

My Sweet Angel
O.G.
Dec 18, 2005
7,527
3,193
USA
So sorry to hear about Darcey. It sounds like he had a wonderful life with you, and he is now in a place where he feels no more pain. My first thought is to bury there in your current home, but as others have said, since you do have some time, give yourself a few days to make the right decision.

Hugs to you :hugs:
 

Saich2

O.G.
Sep 4, 2006
3,343
85
United Kingdom
Thank you so much for everyone kind thoughts. I was in this strict routine with Darcey during the course of the day and I find myself so lost do not know what to do.

Harley .....I am so sorry for your loss also, my thoughts are with you.

Ladybug ...... thank you for your thoughts the idea of putting some of Darcey ashes in a necklace is a good idea.

I shall wait for now as people have said, and will pick up his ashes on Tuesday. I cannot bury them at the moment anyway as ground in rock hard and covered in snow.

Your words have been a comfort to me.
 

DesigningStyle

I left my heart in Sicily.
O.G.
Dec 20, 2006
20,395
1,710
NJ, USA
Saich2, I love all the animals that have shared my life and my heart breaks for you on your tremendous loss. I know the pain. Give it time it will lessen.

Personally, for the pets that I have had private cremation done for, I did not bury the ashes (even if I knew I was going to be living at the same residence for 30 more years). I keep the ashes in the engraved box on my mantle. It never dawned on me to bury them. My feathered friends have been buried in their linen wrappings and a carved personalized river stone http://www.oldworldstones.com/order.htm has been placed as a marker. When I move I will take that marker with me to next garden.

Hugs to you my friend.
 

Saich2

O.G.
Sep 4, 2006
3,343
85
United Kingdom
Thank you Designing for your kind words. All my dogs had their own little engraved headstone in marble, I am taking the headstones with me when I go.

I pick up Dacey ashes yesterday, they came in early. At the moment he is in my bedroom, I cannot get into the ground at the moment, so will take my time. The answer will come, perhaps.

Designing, a lot of my dogs are buried including Newfoundlands, they have not been cremated hence why I do not know what to do. I have them cremated if they die in the winter as have no alternative. Darcey brother Huxley was buried.
I seem to be in a daze at the moment, perhaps the older you get the harder it is, I dont know, but I thank you and everyone else for their kind wishes. Its help talking this over with someone.
 

grace04

^Love My Brit^
O.G.
Jan 1, 2009
2,223
2
In the middle
I'm so sorry to hear about your Darcey. I think you are doing the right thing by giving yourself some time to think it over. You'll be better able to decide what feels right after you get over some of the raw emotion you're having right now.

I haven't been able to leave my pets behind, and just like Chessmont, I'm accumulating a depressing cabinet full as the years go on. But I'm still glad I have them.

When the time comes to make a decision, just go with what your heart tells you to do.
 
Mar 3, 2010
4,195
603
Honolulu, Hawaii
I'm sorry to hear about Darcey. I think you should take his ashes with you. My mom loved our last dog like her own daughter and we had her for 13 years. She didn't bury her in the yard with our other dog. Her ashes are sitting on the mantle and my mother is dead set on being buried with her ashes.