Advice needed...Do you think I need a new OB?

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  1. Hey gals!! How are you? I wanted to vent a little regarding my situation. I've been going to my OB for over 10 years now and she's been great with me. She's to the point and does her job well. Hubby and I were blessed to have a honeymoon babygirl in August 2008. After 16 hours of labor I had to get an emergency C-section because our little girls heartbeat was beating too fast and my blood pressure was going down. She was busy that night too. I think she had alot of patients that delievered that night. Okay that was over with. Alot of my friends said I didn't have to suffer that long but who knows. Everyone is different.

    So I got pregnant in May 2010 but I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks. My OB was explaining to me my body wasn't ready so she called it a chemical pregnancy. She said I will bleed like a period for a week which I did. I got to say it was pretty painful. Again hubby and I got preggers in July 2010. She did blood tests to make sure my HCG levels are going up because of my history. So far so good. I go to all my appointments and everything seems great. I went for my NT testing and that was fine too. On a Friday, I went for my 12 weeks check up, the NP was there to check the heartbeat and there was none. I went to the hospital to get an U/S and no heartbeat. I was devastated. I didn't know what happened or what went wrong? My OB wasn't around and not sure if she was in town. Being in the medical field I assumed I was going to have a D&C that day. My OB's office scheduled me not until Tuesday the following week. They said I wasn't at risk and there was no bleeding. No on-call doctors, nothing. I had to deal with "fetal demise" over the weekend. It was hard knowing the baby in me is no longer alive. Finally Tuesday came and as I was getting ready I got a call from my OB's office. They said they need to reschedule my surgery for another day because my OB had a fever. I didn't want to wait another day. I told them to schedule me with the covering doctor if they had one. They found one for me and the procedure was done. The covering OB was very nice and he explained to me that they will be sending some tissue samples for genetic testing.

    Sorry gals I know I wrote so much. I'm not sure if I want to go back but I still don't understand what happened? This has been hard on us emotionally. I'm scared to try again. Hubby and I are thinking of looking around to see a new OB.

    Thank you in advance!!
  2. YES, by all means, take you business elsewhere. She sounds like she is too uncaring to be in her field. You needed her support AND services, and she's let you down a few times. I'd def. find a new care provider. Best of luck getting pregnant again, and I'm so sorry about all of the recent heartaches you've weathered.
  3. Yep, I'm going to a new Dr next time we are preggers. I talk to several Soon to be mommies and they all recommend this one particular Dr. I 'm going to go to her next..
  4. Thanks enga. I trully appreciate it. :smile:

    Thanks kc...good luck to you too sweetie. ;)
  5. I'm on my third OB in six I say YES! If you're ever uncomfortable at all, why not see what else is out there?

    Sorry about M/Cs...have you thought about going to a specialist?
  6. Thanks ahertz. Yes I will be looking around and maybe I'll be asking around for referrals. Yes I would like to see a specialist too. I would have to wait for my results and see from there. :smile:
  7. I am so sorry you did not get the care nor the empathy that you should have from your OB.. I would most definitely seek out another doctor.... this office obviously has no concern for their patients' mental well being. These are all very traumatic events and it seems no one in the office was there to make these difficult times any easier for you. :tdown:

    Hugs and Best of Luck!
  8. I've been in your shoes (and then some) and have to say that I didn't feel comfortable trying again until I had a LOT of science on my side (from my fertility specialist).

    Good luck and keep us updated.
  9. Thank you so much chodessa!! I'm in the process of looking around.

    Yes I will keep all of you posted. ;)
  10. aw hon, i'm so sorry that your OB was not supportive during this really hard time :hugs:

    it sounds like you're looking around and i think you should. you want someone who can be at least a little empathetic to what you went through.

    do you have any friends in the area who can refer you to a doctor that they are very happy with?

    thinking of you! :heart:
  11. Thanks Dawn. Yes hubby and I found one nearby. As soon as I get my pathology results we'll make an appt. Hope all is well with you. :smile:
  12. HeartMyMJs, I'm so sorry for your loss and your previous miscarriage. It's so difficult to go through, especially so late. Sadly, I've had two miscarriages this year as well, one at 8 weeks and one at 14.

    If the scheduling of the D&C the major issue that you have with your OB and you have a good rapport otherwise (ignoring what your friends said about delivery, since every case is different. I had friends who were in labor far longer than 16 hours and were fine; it's really up to the mom involved), I would say to stick with her. I say this from a purely practical perspective. At least where I am, almost no one can get you in for a D&C that day or the next day. I know that through experience, because for my first MC I completely freaked out at the thought of having to wait four days (it was a missed miscarriage, and the thought that it had been dead for a week freaked me out majorly.) I called five OBs when my fertility doc/RE couldn't do it for that long (one I was planning to see when I "graduated" from the RE so had already set up the appointment, my old OB, another old OB/Gyn, and two I was just considering seeing). One might be able to get me in one day sooner, but wouldn't know till the morning of, and I'd have to be there at 5 am. I ultimately decided to stay with my RE.

    For a 12 week one, they may have wanted you at some sort of surgicenter, and those centers book out in advance. I missed the cutoff even for the local surgicenter for the second one and had to go to the hospital, so that caused a delay as well. It's awful when you are going through it, but I think you will go through it with almost any doctor.

    If there are other things, where you think she is not empathetic or is not following up on your care the way you'd like (which no OB is really going to do until the tissue tests are back, then if there is no chromosomal defect they may run recurrent pregnancy loss tests for you), then by all means switch, but if it's about scheduling the procedure, I think you'll be in the same boat anywhere.

    Good luck. I hope that you get some answers and can move forward.
  13. Thank you so much kimberf. You are so kind. I'm also sorry for your loss. It's so difficult but each day gets better. I want to see what my other options are and see what's out there. Yes I can't wait for some answers too. As soon as I get them I'll move on from there. :hugs: