Abstinence and Mental Acuity

  1. I feel kind of silly for asking, but here goes:

    A friend of mine has been celibate for a year and a half and claims that her celibacy has improved her emotional health and sharpened her senses. I originally mocked her to her face for suggesting such a thing (don't stone me), but now I've been thinking about it.

    I wonder if there could be some substance to her assertions...or maybe her improvement is due to other factors, i.e. growing up, etc.??? Anyone have any experience or reliable reference on the subject?
  2. the TV show Seinfeld once pondered this very question.

    In short, George became very smart and astute by abstaining from sex and Elaine became a bumbling idiot by having too much of it.

    It was a very funny episode, probably one of the all time-greats!

    To your question - I think it is not so much that abstaining gives you better mental health; but if you are not spending alot of time thinking about having it, planning on where to have it, and with whom, then by default you have more time to work on other areas of your life.

    I know there are stats that can tell you how much time (for men and for women) is spent thinking about sex - for men it is particularly high - if that time was spent thinking about other things, well more might get accomplished.
  3. Since she's abstinent I can only assume she's not involved with anyone. Maybe that explains why she feels better mentally. She doesn't have relationship drama to stress her out or distract her.

  4. ITA! Which begins to make the case for one night stands rather than long term relationships...:graucho:
  5. She's never had a serious relationship. However, she has had more one night stands than any other female friend I'm aware of.
  6. I think even with the one night stands, there is the planning, the dress up, where to go, what to do with them, will he call and bug me later and all that stuff going on. So yeah, I guess her mind would be busier anyway. Now that she's not only being celibate, but also avoiding the hassle which goes with multiple sexual relationships she probably has a much clearer mind.

    Of course if one is in a stable long term relationship sex becomes just another thing to do along the way, like the laundry.

  7. Yes, but you can sleep while the laundry is going...:idea:
  8. I'd rather have no sex than sex with someone I'm not really into. Having sex with someone you don't really feel like having sex with can take an emotional toll on you. So eliminate the bad sex and improve your life. Works for me at least. It's not the act of not having sex but the act of not wasting my time on a guy that isn't worth my time, and very few are.
  9. Hmmm...I think it depends on the person. You mentioned she's had quite a few ONS's. Perhaps this girl had some sort of obsession with sex, constantly thinking about hooking up. Now that she's stopped doing that, she's freed her mind up to focus on other things.
    I think I'm the opposite, if I don't get sex, I can't think straight until I get some luvin.
  10. LOL you just made me spit hot chocolate all over my monitor. :p :p

    I've only ever had long term relationships so I don't know how the other side lives. I like to think I'm as stable emotionally as a flighty woman like me CAN be. :graucho:
  11. True! But on days I've been "obliging" but very tired, I've been known to fall asleep during sex too ("Oh, honey, are you all done now? You can take it out then ..")!:p
  12. I think this is the case.
  13. Yeah, I think it's the absence of drama and her other issues that lead her to so many ONS.
  14. LMAO:roflmfao:
  15. That's why she's feeling better and sharper. Lots of one night stands aren't good for a person's emotional health and can actually eat away at self-esteem and a personal sense of dignity. So the energy drain is gone just like with a bad relationship.

    Although a good stable relationship, IMHO, tops everything, no relationship and no one night stands are way better for your mental and emotional health than a bad relationship and one-night stands.