aarhhg how to deal with this arkward situation

P

pursemember

O.G.
May 17, 2006
4,724
22
#1
sorry but i need to vent :rant:

i am divorced and it was not the most pleasant experience in life.
well but it is fine as i am living over 13 hours by plane away from my husband and his new girlfriend ( i am not in a new relationship btw) and he barely visits "my " country even though he owns a company here he let a partner take care of his interest.
so but now i was informed by a close friend of ours that he is coming over WITH her in order to attend an event where i am also invited and he knew that. he just shows up cause she wants to visit the country so badly :mad:
i am mad cause i do not know what to do . my first idea was to flee the country as i want to avoid that situation but that is so not me. but also i don´t want to stir any horrible eclat on the party
so what should i do? head up high and attend or hide in my bedroom or calling the people who host the event to get him erased from the guestlist :hrmm:
wha i hate him for putting me in this situation :rant: :censor: sorry for posting here but i am just lost and really upset and want to hear some unbiased (other than my friends)opinions
 
#2
are you still in love with him? or do you hate him so much you just can't stand to see him? either way, if it is going to just ruin your time, why go? I think your absence would make more of a statement to him. Its hard to comment though when you don't know the whole story and all the emotions/events involved.
 
#3
From what you wrote, it sounds like you would be very uncomfortable being there while your ex is there with his girlfriend. Until all of the old feelings are resolved, I would say, stay away. It would be nice if he stayed away from the party, but if you try and get him off the list, that will only start more trouble, and will send a clear signal to him and his girlfriend that you don't want to handle them together.
 
#4
Ouch! Tough situation (but you know that already). Honestly....I would not hide in the bedroom. I would hold my head high and not let him think you're not there because of him.
Do you have a good friend you can take with you to the event? A good girlfriend who knows the situation and will keep your spirits high during the party? Or a good guy friend to make him jealous? lol
If the people hosting the event are good friends maybe you can call and explain the situation and they might be able to uninvite him?
 
#5
well i love to hate him for what he made me went through. i still loved him at the beginning of our seperation but nowadays i just can not stand him anymore he lost my respect
 
#6
you know aht really makes me mad? it is not like he just has to cross the street to bump into me no he has to hop on a plane for over 13 hours just to get here and just because she wants to ,even though he knows that i am attending!
that is so disrepectful towards me: like saying i just come to make you feel uncomfy in your country
he has the guts to show up with our divorce reason i don´t get it how he dares to do so
 
#7
if you go, can you completely ignore him? give him and his girlfriend a big confident smile everytime you make eye contact? That would drive them nuts! Always do the opposite of what people are expecting of you. Then they are the ones that are uncomfortable, not you.
 
#8
I too have an x and I have to say this is really my fantasy!!!! I say buy the hottest outfit you can find, were the most expensive jewelry you can get, and bring your most charming and georgous male friend and have the time of your life! Oh yeah and when you meet him at the bar, you could say "have we met?" Seriously I have been playing this out in my head for 10 years!!!

Really though, don't stay home, if you want to go to the event don't let them stop you!
 
#9
Is it important that you attend the event?

I believe that if you intended to go, then you should continue with that intention. Be gracious to both your ex and his girlfriend. Just remember...you've "Been there, done that." ;)
 
#10
Not knowing the time frame since your divorce, I'd say don't give him the satisfaction of knowing he may have intimated you into not showing up because you knew he would be there with "2nd hand goods" on his arm. I'd explain as said before to the mutual friends who invited us that it will be uncomfortable situation and I may not stay the entire time, but I'd make an appearance with handsome male friend that I am very comfortable with that knows situation. I'd blow off any acknowledgement of said EX and "2nd hand", have a wonderful time and feel good that you didn't let him get the best of you for the time you spend there, even for just a while that evening. Stick close with familiar friends and engage in conversation to distract you from their presence.
 
#11
Oh that's a hard situation. I think you should definetely go. Do you have any cute friends, so that will make him jealous? Find the best dress you have and kill them with your looks. Be happy, show confidence.
 
#12
TheImportersWife said:
Is it important that you attend the event?

I believe that if you intended to go, then you should continue with that intention. Be gracious to both your ex and his girlfriend. Just remember...you've "Been there, done that." ;)
Click to expand...
yeah kind of it is the marriage of the daughter of friends.
if it wasn´t that "drama" it could be comical meeting the exhusband while attending a wedding :lol: :hrmm:

oh and we are kind of freshly divorced btw
 
#13
Well, they say that "discretion is the better part of valour", but also that "living well is the best revenge." If it were me, I'd wear my most flattering ensemble, go with the intention of enjoying myself, and not let myself be intimidated. Sometimes when we act "as if" (in your case, "as if" you don't give a rat's patooty about the ex and new GF) we can start to re-program ourselves to respond differently.
 
#14
Personally it sounds like his ego is talking. It seems it's more his party with his new wife that he should attend and so what if his ex-wife is there.

I think it's better to leave it alone and not go because going and having to deal with the possibility he might throw his new life in your face which wouldn't be a pretty option. If you go, we expect you to look sinfully smashing and carry your best bag!
 
#15
I'd say GO! If you don't, he'll assume that it's because you're intimidated by him, which will also let him know that you still care about him. Same thing if you get him uninvited.

I think the best way is to go, dressed in your best, and act like nothing is wrong. It'll show him that he doesn't matter at all to you. In other words, he's worthless to you now! I've done that to exes and it works. Haha.
 
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