A "blank check" for a Birkin...

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#31
Why should you have to pass a test of this sort in order to get another bag, if money is not the issue? The answer is because this is the nature of the dynamic between you two, one in which your husband calls the shots over your personal belongings. Recognize that it is a very controlling form of partnership. Want to think about that?

If money is the issue, not strictly power and authority, then either don't get a Birkin or save for one, like many other people do. Keep your beautiful LP and enjoy it.
 
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#32
I don't think it's the fact he's giving her the bag, but the mind games that lead to the end result which seem to be off putting to most.

I wouldn't do it, purely because Hermes bags are to be celebrated, enjoyed, and appreciated. Handbags are not about the money. If they were, I doubt we'd be spending 5 figures. They're a labour of love, both for the craftsman, and the eventual owner. They're about appreciating quality, and texture, and smells, and having something so beautiful handmade. I don't stop to smell the flowers, I stop to smell the Box leather. And this situation isnt about the money. To turn what should be the best purchase into a constant reminder of bending to someone else's trivial whims, which rely on exploiting your own emotions, is not worth it. Not for all the Birkins in the world. Croc, diamond, or gold.

This of course, is IMHO, but whatever you decide, just be sure you don't agree with any negative comment on here as, if there is any doubt, no matter how gorgeous the bag is you may end up resenting it for what it stands for.
 
#33
etoupebirkin said:
1. I think that your DH does NOT want you to get the birkin. And quite frankly, there's a level of passive-aggressiveness that's disturbing. How much would you get for the LP in trade—$1,000-$1,500, really. That's 10% of a new bag. He's counting on your sentimental attachment to that LP. By chance, did he purchase the LP for you as a gift?

2. Can you get a birkin from an H store? That's the most cost effective way to get a new one, and it is not easy to find the color, leather and hardware you want. If you go to the re-sale route, you pay a significant mark up for new, and a premium for gently used.

3. Are you (or DH) willing to pay $10K+ for a pre-loved handbag?

When I read threads like this, I truly believe that each partner in a relationship needs their own $$$ for purchases that the other spouse/SO cannot comment on. Hermes and birkins do not make sense to 99.99% of the world's population.

My advice, keep the LP. Start saving for a birkin with your own $$$. Sell other bags, accessories, jewelry etc to fund this. Research leathers, hardware and colors, then identify the best combo for you and go for it.
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My thoughts exactly.

PLUS : you should manage to make your husband understand that a Birkin HOLDS its value over time. Meanning, if he buys you a Birkin anytime , you/he can get the money back anytime later by seling it.
So actually it is not an expense, it is instead like putting the money in a different drawer...
That should be enough to make him make up his mind : buy the Birkin AND let you keep the LP.

You deserve both !
 
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#34
Keep the LP. Don't let your husband suck you into this ridiculous power struggle over YOUR handbag. That Birkin would never bring you joy as you would have surrendered control and something you love to your husband. I was once married to a controlling husband - had to show him the old bra was worn out in order to get permission to buy a new one. It ain't fun and it won't get better if you buy into all this power. Enjoy the bag you have and work on your marriage.
 
#35
Your husband is playing a mind game/power game that needs to be nipped in the bud. You are an adult, and he is treating you like a 2 year old. It will only get worse if you don't put a stop to it. He's pretending it's about a bag, but it's all about control. How would he like it if you tried that tactic with him?
 
#36
I'm having a difficult time believing this thread but nonetheless...

It's not really a 'gift' if your husband is controlling the conditions with which it's being given.

He's aware of your desire to keep the LP (from the pictures, looks barely used...no scratches on the feet) but, requests that you turn it over if you truly desire a Birkin.
This to me is the equivant of gifting him socks and then requesting he hand over his underwear allowing him only one undergarment to choose from.

Choosing what stays in my closet and what goes is my decision and having my husband offer me gifts doesn't have anything to do with that.
 
#39
Just curious, but does your husband not like your LP? Is this his way of having you get rid of a bag he has never liked? (It is a beautiful bag. The stitching, color and functionality seems perfect.) In answer to your question about which birkin would be closest in color to your LP, I would highly suggest a gold 35 togo with PHW. This is the one that I have. Hope this answers your question. It seems that you love your LP too much to give it up, so I would keep it and try to save up for the birkin. The great thing about the birkin is that it is a classic style that will never be discontinued, so there is no rush. Good luck with your decision.
 
#40
etoupebirkin said:
1. I think that your DH does NOT want you to get the birkin. And quite frankly, there's a level of passive-aggressiveness that's disturbing. How much would you get for the LP in trade—$1,000-$1,500, really. That's 10% of a new bag. He's counting on your sentimental attachment to that LP. By chance, did he purchase the LP for you as a gift?

2. Can you get a birkin from an H store? That's the most cost effective way to get a new one, and it is not easy to find the color, leather and hardware you want. If you go to the re-sale route, you pay a significant mark up for new, and a premium for gently used.

3. Are you (or DH) willing to pay $10K+ for a pre-loved handbag?

When I read threads like this, I truly believe that each partner in a relationship needs their own $$$ for purchases that the other spouse/SO cannot comment on. Hermes and birkins do not make sense to 99.99% of the world's population.

My advice, keep the LP. Start saving for a birkin with your own $$$. Sell other bags, accessories, jewelry etc to fund this. Research leathers, hardware and colors, then identify the best combo for you and go for it.
Click to expand...

At first I thought $8000 on a bag (Birkin) was crazy, when I myself will spend $8000 on an Alzer... Bit of a hypocrite I guess, but I totally agree with EtoupeBirkin...
 
#41
Ladybaga said:
Just curious, but does your husband not like your LP? Is this his way of having you get rid of a bag he has never liked?
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Holy smokes! You read my mind LB! It could be as simple as this.... In most cases, men are pretty simple ;)

Actually, in this case, I'm pretty simple too...I would head staright for the croc B!!!
 
#42
hmmm even though i sustain my original post feeling that the entire thing was a bit cruel i think this thread has gone a little far..... and is really not the purpose of the forum its turned in my opinion a bit a aggressive.

darling OP consider all the great advice here and let us know if you need anything else .hope it helps birkel
 
#43
Israeli_Flava said:
Holy smokes! You read my mind LB! It could be as simple as this.... In most cases, men are pretty simple ;)

Actually, in this case, I'm pretty simple too...I would head staright for the croc B!!!
Click to expand...

When I first read the post, I like you, thought blank check AND ultimatum? Lead me to the crocs, please..... It is true that only OP know the whole situation. Best of luck to this wonderful woman.
 
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