29, not thinking about getting married yet

#31
MassLaw15 said:
29 is YOUNG! Try not to feel funny or strange. As other posters said 40's is NOT late to be having kids. Take your time. Find the right SO. And go from there! You never know what might happen! Think positively, make good decisions & focus on being a happy, healthy person. Things will fall into place.

I got married when I was 22. Still married! But, no kids, yet! At the time MOST people thought I was too YOUNG to get married. Everyone will have THEIR opinions, it's YOUR happiness that counts!
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:yes: My husband and I married when I was 23 and he was 25. I was finishing up grad school and He'd finished up his MBA about a year and a half earlier and was already working. It was a total surprise to me....lol. I'd always been one of those women who said I wouldn't get married until I was way past 30 (because of course 30 seemed so far away and old then...lol). Well, my husband changed my mind when he asked me to marry him...lol. I'm 38 now and don't regret a thing. We've had a great marriage so far. The good has certainly outweighed any bad and there's never really been any 'real bad' to begin with. We're both stubborn and I'm spoiled so we've had our days....lol but we always love and respect one another through everything. We really are best friends and like brother and sister....lol. Like we were born to be together.

However, I think everyone is different of course. I think if you don't feel ready or haven't found the right person then what is the rush. It's best to be with the right person and KNOW it rather than just marry to be married and end up being unhappy. There is no age---I was reading today that Diane Sawyer didn't marry until she was 42. Also Oprah has never married (two of my favorite women). Neither has had children either. It's all about what YOU want for YOURSELF. Don't place any time constraints on yourself.

We had our first son two years after we married..BUT we waited 9 years to have our second because we were so busy when our first son was born--new careers...needed a lot of help from parents (babysitting). Children are wonderful but you must not take having them lightly. We adore our boys and luckily our first son didn't miss out on any love or care even though we were busy--we spent every free moment with him but it was tough...so we delayed our second...lol.

Just do what is best for you ALWAYS:heart:.
 
#32
I´m so glad I found this thread bc I do feel worried sometimes too. I am 29 BTW and I do look like it I think (even if still getting carded in US lol).
While all my friends are getting married and so excited about buying a property, redecorating and stuff, being engaged...I see them so happy and so certain of what they want. I just don´t seem to be able to feel the same way w. my BF, he hasn´t done anything wrong...just nothing really....I don´t feel we are a "team"
are we too demanding ? (now I´m starting my Carrie Bradshaw moment !)
When I think wedding I think "scary" !
Marriages and babies are not necesseraly overrated, it´s just reassuring to say when you hear about it all the time and you feel it´s not right for you-
Seahorse I am with you ! and thanks to all the helpful ladies here.
 
#34
omg so many of you ladies expressing my thoughts !:nuts: i am 30, have a bf but just the slightest hint about getting married makes me freeze ...i guess its just not for me, i dont see any point in doing it, maybe i have some being independent issues but i dont care ... to be honest with u i dont see any weddings coming my way in this life... if it changes fine, i`ll go with the flow but to be honest with you the older i get the more i hate the idea hihi:yucky:
same with kids ...we were watching "9 months" the other day and my BF commented that i am probably the only person who understands and supports Hugh Grant in his protest against having a baby:yes: and same here the older i get the more the idea of having kids scares me ...id rather be a happy childless person than a miserable mother and if i dont hear call of the nature i wont force it:smile:
 
#35
I'm 34 (35 in two weeks!) and I suck at dating. I can't imagine having a kid either. I really don't care. I'm just living my life the way I want to and enjoying it as much as possible. I used to sit and worry about not having a boyfriend and feel like something is wrong with me. Now I'm almost happy I don't have one. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to meet "Mr. Right" but I really am perfectly happy without him.
 
#36
I felt the exact same way you did when I was in my 20s. I was so footloose and fancy free - enjoy it while it lasts! Cause I was completely content on my own until my DH showed up when I was 29 and threw a wrench in the gears. He swept me off my feet when I wasn't looking for it - that will probably be the way it happens for you too! We didn't get married until 5 years later.
 
#37
nataliam1976 said:
omg so many of you ladies expressing my thoughts !:nuts: i am 30, have a bf but just the slightest hint about getting married makes me freeze ...i guess its just not for me, i dont see any point in doing it, maybe i have some being independent issues but i dont care ... to be honest with u i dont see any weddings coming my way in this life... if it changes fine, i`ll go with the flow but to be honest with you the older i get the more i hate the idea hihi:yucky:
same with kids ...we were watching "9 months" the other day and my BF commented that i am probably the only person who understands and supports Hugh Grant in his protest against having a baby:yes: and same here the older i get the more the idea of having kids scares me ...id rather be a happy childless person than a miserable mother and if i dont hear call of the nature i wont force it:smile:
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I'm totally with you .... i have so many things i want to do and kids just take up so much time.... kids scare me.... the pregnancy process scares it... it all scares me.....:wtf: my yoga teacher almost got paralyzed giving birth to her first daughter. she was paralyzed and numbed for the first day or so after giving birth and thankfully she regained control of her limbs after that. but her spine has been slightly damaged as a result. her experience really scared the hell out of me... :yucky:
 
#38
bagnshoofetish said:
I felt the exact same way you did when I was in my 20s. I was so footloose and fancy free - enjoy it while it lasts! Cause I was completely content on my own until my DH showed up when I was 29 and threw a wrench in the gears. He swept me off my feet when I wasn't looking for it - that will probably be the way it happens for you too! We didn't get married until 5 years later.
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LOL I had no intentions of being in a serious relationship either until I met my SO!

We have been together for over four years, and we are getting married next November when we will both be 25.:heart:
 
#40
Good luck with the dating scene. Don't worry about your age so much. Just concentrate on dating the right person. I'm sure you are much better at it than you realize. Def. don't settle and everything else will come in its own time and when your ready.
 
#41
I feel that way sometimes. I'm from Missouri and in my family it's VERY common to get married at 17. My mom did and had me at 18. Most of my cousins are married with kids. I just turned 26 and my family makes me feel like an old maid. I'm ready to get married (3 more weeks!) but I worry about children. I get scared at the concept of having babies after 30. My mom always tells me its much harder after 30 so that doesn't help. I am not against having kids but I worry by the time I want to it'll be so much more difficult. =P
 
#42
one of my aunt gave birth in her 40s, but she already got a daughter 17 years before, so i don't really worry about the pregnant thing.
and my older sister, actually i think my parents gave up on her of having a "life" aka married and having children, so they put the pressure on me because they thought i'm in the most stable relationship ever.
and they don't even know what happended to me lately, they ddon't know i moved out, i don't want to worry them and then they would start to asking me questions and things i don't really need to hear

but i guess i'm more scared to relationship commitment.
after my long term adn then one incident almost swept away all those, i'm more scared to continue what we're left off now.

i just hate it when people asked did u ever regret not getting married before that incident aka my bf cheated on me happened. and i said no, i felt lucky i didn't married before.

now he fully regret what he did and fully commited on me but now i'm the one who's getting cold feet.

but i can't just left him now i think, he's very dependent on me and i hate to see him going down just for the sake of my happiness, but honeslty i think i didn't love him as much as i did :sad:

i decided to give it some more time though before i "move on".
 
#43
i don't think you should waste time, if you know it is not going anywhere, i'd say (even if it is painful) move on. late 20's early 30s are pivotal times in your life for a woman, especially if children "might" be on the horizon. it is a good time to find the right person, you don't want to wake up in 10 years and feel the pressure of a ticking clock (if you decide you want kids)

just my opinion, i've witnessed it in a few friends, as we approach our late 30s.

time is on your side, but wise choices now make for a more prosperous future.

good luck
 
#44
seahorseinstripes said:
ha ha ha... i agree with most of you, esp the phrase that marriage and children are overrated LOL.

but honestly, i haven't really break the news with my bf yet. allthough he said that he wanted to try again and now he's being totally possesive with me, especially since he knew i met lots of new people and working with other people.
but inside my heart, i just wanna try to be alone again u know?
i'm still figuring out how to break the news. it's so complicated. and i don't really wanna ruin his life cause all this time he's being totally dependent on me and i hate to see his potential got wasted.
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seahorse in all fairness i dont want to be pushy but you said it yourself - inside your heart u wanna be alone ...please do not waste your time, your life for someone that you will not be with eventually anyway... you know it already it is only like putting the execution away .... i know how it is i split up with with my bf after 3 years then we got back together and after a year i broke it off...when he started asking for another chance i said - no, we had your chance and it didnt work out i can not waste more time i am not getting any younger - i had the same feeling in my heart and i just knew it wasnt IT anymore... it was the hardest decision ever as our lives were so entwined and entangled together but once i went through it i never looked back and i was happy ... u might want to consider it:yes:
 
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