20 Reason not to have Kids

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  1. I don't believe children cause you to lose contact with your friends. I have met so many new friends since having Julia, through our Parent & baby swim class and our "play groups" (even though there isn't much play, lol) that we go to. I still keep in touch with my old friends that I had before I had her, so I don't really think that's true for me.

    Also, she states they will kill your desire. Desire for what? Sex? Success? If anything, having a child has made me want to be more successful so that I can provide a good life for my family.
  2. I think she was a selfish person that had kids and is now not happy

    Kids are a joy
  3. This is a joke right???

  4. my mother always says, they cost a lot, they make noise and they smell until they are potty trained, get a dog and if you can look after that you can have kids.

    she was a midwife and by the end of her career she was seeing 20 year olds with 3 or 4 kids living on benefits.

    there was a scandal with one of her patients who had 6 kids in care and kept getting pregnant again and again, in the end she was sterilised because social services beleived it was un healthy and unrealistic for her to keep having kids. that was a long time ago though, the 80s i think.
  5. Yeah, dont agree with anything she mentioned. We choose what kind of parents we want to be. You can enjoy life with your children in it- Or you can sit around & complain about not being able to this or that which isnt productive in the least. Life is what you make it.
  6. Complaining about the constraints put upon you by having a child makes a parent sound selfish and stupid. Having children is supposed to change your life! Sometimes having children can affect friendships if those friends do not have children. They can hang out and party much more than a responsible parent can. And my daughter is with me a lot. I don't expect my friends to want to hang with my child. So those friends aren't usually around as often as they were in pre-parenthood days. I never made friends with people based on playdates. My daughter spends time with her first cousins on both sides (there's lots of 'em...DH family is HUGE!) Personally I love being a mom, and my identity isn't lost in being a mommy. I was Racquel for almost 30yrs before I became a mom so maintaining my own identity is important to me. My daughter was very much wanted and planned so there's no resentment in having her either. I find that I spend more time with the friends I have that are parents.
  7. Having children is a difficult thing; it causes some permanent life changes and it is NOT the right choice for everyone. However, that's why people have to be bright enough to consider their decisions before jumping in. I'd never criticize someone for not having children because I cannot make assumptions about them and their lifestyle. They are making the proper decision for themselves.

    But to make those assumptions about women who DO have children is just as presumptuous and incorrect. Clearly she made a wrong decision (not just once, but TWICE!) and I feel terrible for her children, as she is clearly not happy. But for her to assume that others are also making their decisions in error is a mistake. She sounds like a very bitter and unhappy woman.
  8. 1 reason to have a kid (of so many)....no matter what...they are always happy to see you!! You could be away 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, or 5 weeks...but there is always a smile when you walk in the door!! Generally accompanied by a high-pitched, "Mommy, mommy"!!!!
  9. Wow... her poor children.
    It kinda boggles my mind how just anyone can have children. People like that to be exact. I mean you have to take tests to drive, go to school to have a career, etc. yet you're free to take on the responsibility of bringing another human being into this world and raising them...
    She should not be a mother.
    No one said it was easy, but its all worth it.
  10. Something about the flimsy arguments she offered makes me think that this is this woman's attempt at seeming "oh-so-neurotically-interesting": a tormented, self-sacrificial creature who speaks the truth against cultural/societal norms and is willing to suffer for it.
    Oh give me a break!
    At 25 y.o. when I WRONGLY thought I would for sure never want children (and when I thought --WRONGLY, again-- that all women who did were brainwashed) I had MANY more interesting arguments. At the very least, I'd like to think I was coherent instead of just throwing around cryptical pronouncements like "children kill [the] desire".
    I'm French like she is, so I don't think her arguments got lost in translation, either!
  11. So very bitter I tell ya!
  12. Well, I applaud her for her honesty and being able to speak about it. Not all women find motherhood to be the thrill they hoped it would be, unfortunately. And she's pretty brave to put it all out there, because obviously it's not an opinion that most will agree with, and it will horrify most people. But at the same time... of course it's going to change your life! You can go with it and look for the ways it changes your life positively, or you can make yourself out to be a martyr and complain about losing your freedom (and "desire").

    Also, I feel bad for her children. She may very well be a good mother (in that she meets her children's needs and takes good care of them), but it would make me so sad if I found out that my mom had written about how she liked her life more before I was in it.

    I'm wondering why this woman had a second child? Oh well, to each her own. I can't blame her for her opinions, and think she is brave to be open and honest about it. But I wonder how this will make her children feel when they find out about it?
  13. Wow. To each their own. I feel bad for her kids who will one day read how she "truly felt her life was better before having children". It's bad enough some parents tell their kids that they were "an accident" or "a mistake", but I'd think it'd be so much worse for the whole world to know that your own mother thinks you ruined her life simply by being born. Maybe she should have used better birth control. Maybe the article should be something like "What an idiot I am!"
  14. Wow! She needs a vacation and some medication. There are so many people in this world who are in very dire straights and when we are lucky enough to have children, to be blessed with healthy children, we are not living in poverty, in a war zone, or diagnosed with a horrible disease---well we should count our blessings and be thankful.