Are you honest w/ your other friends who are not on TPF re your H items?

Baby V

Baby V

Slave to the H
O.G.
Feb 12, 2009
232
1
#1
Fabulous Ladies~ When I first got my Birk and Kelly...I obviously told one of my best girlfriends who I thought would be happy for me. Instead to my surprise, she lectured me and berated me saying how ridiculous I was and why I would spend that kind of money on bags. I was so shocked, felt guilty and also made me rethink about my purchases.

This is why I joined tpf b/c I feel like I can't talk to any of my gfs about Hermes. Sad but true. If you've seen my other thread...yes, I'm a work in progress in actually putting them through good use. :nuts: Recently, she asked me what my DH got for me for Christmas and I lied. :tdown:

Has anyone else experienced this from your non tpf girlfriends? Why is she such a "Debbie Downer?" That's why I absolutely adore this site. I'll feel like it's my personal support system!
 
#2
That particular gf of yours might just be jealous that you could afford such a nice bag and she couldn't. I think it's good to share with your friends, but not reveal the price to them if they don't know the value of Hermes.

There are countless stories here of fellow tPFers being treated unfavourably when they shared their love of Hermes with their friends or relatives, which is very unfortunate.
 
#3
mudmud said:
That particular gf of yours might just be jealous that you could afford such a nice bag and she couldn't. I think it's good to share with your friends, but not reveal the price to them if they don't know the value of Hermes.

There are countless stories here of fellow tPFers being treated unfavourably when they shared their love of Hermes with their friends or relatives, which is very unfortunate.
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I just can't believe a long-time friend can actually be "jealous" but that's what my DH said as well. I have 2 kids also and she said to me dont't you have better things to spend your money on. She actually made me cry. :crybaby:

It is very unfortunate and sad as well.
 
#4
Baby V said:
I just can't believe a long-time friend can actually be "jealous" but that's what my DH said as well. I have 2 kids also and she said to me dont't you have better things to spend your money on. She actually made me cry. :crybaby:

It is very unfortunate and sad as well.
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Oh my, Baby V, that's sad, indeed. I'm so sorry your "friend" felt she needed to berate your choices. I think many people don't put the cost of Hermes in the proper perspective. We're making a long-term purchase, not something that will last a season or two. An Hermes purse will last many, many years.

I have friends who buy several 2 and 3k purses a year, and use them a year or two....maybe three. My oldest Hermes Kelly is going on 20 years old, and still looks great. So, tell me, who made the wiser choice??? :smile:
 
#7
If she's not your Mom, then don't worry about it. : )

Your friend is just expressing her opinion (and judging you) about spending exorbitant amounts of money on material objects. Ignore the judgement part, if you can.

Since no human is perfect, forgive her for judging. She is obviously a very close friend to be able to openly express her opinion to you--that is of great value.

About the outrageous prices for Hermes products--I agree, it's insane to spend $5k+ all-at-once, for a handbag. To me though, it's worth it. The few Hermes bags I own are all I want or need.

So...as pretzel logic as it sounds, having bought Hermes bags has actually SAVED me money over the years.
 
#8
I've a different perspective on this. I don't tell my personal friends about my addiction to H, and in fact, on most occasions, I don't even use my H bags in their presence. I have a handful of friends, befriended through tPF, whom I often gush about H with them. And they are totally dear to me, because I don't have to hide anything from them. But with friends whom I have known for years, we don't talk H and I can't talk H. In Birkinomics, one croc Birkin is the cost of my children's whole year school fees, and they are only in infant school. I will get a lot of flak and I don't need it. I think such talk tend to make friends shy away and get in the way of friendship.


I don't think your friend was jealous. I think she was genuinely concerned. Friendships are hard to make and very easy to break. Don't let this issue come between the 2 of you. I think if there is much to be salvaged, spend a few occasions to talk things out. Save the friendship is what I say.
 
#11
I agree. I tend not to tell people about the cost of a bag. It is a lot to spend on a bag. I know that, I just think that you just never know people's financial situation. People also differ in what they would spend their money on. I'd take this as a lesson and not take it to heart.
 
#12
mrssparkles said:
I've a different perspective on this. I don't tell my personal friends about my addiction to H, and in fact, on most occasions, I don't even use my H bags in their presence. I have a handful of friends, befriended through tPF, whom I often gush about H with them. And they are totally dear to me, because I don't have to hide anything from them. But with friends whom I have known for years, we don't talk H and I can't talk H. In Birkinomics, one croc Birkin is the cost of my children's whole year school fees, and they are only in infant school. I will get a lot of flak and I don't need it. I think such talk tend to make friends shy away and get in the way of friendship.


I don't think your friend was jealous. I think she was genuinely concerned. Friendships are hard to make and very easy to break. Don't let this issue come between the 2 of you. I think if there is much to be salvaged, spend a few occasions to talk things out. Save the friendship is what I say.
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Mrssparkles~ I agree with you whole heartedly. Btw..."Birkinomic," I love it! See I learn something new everyday from this site. Anyways, my DH and I decided that anything personal especially luxury items should be kept personal. He's seen me go through so much with her. Items such as Chanel bags here and Balenciaga there seems to be okay with her. Note: She has them also. I feel like she's always judging me so I just simply decided not to tell her anything. The funny thing is she loves luxury goods as well. A long time ago, we had a break in our relationship when she hung up on me when I told her how my DH upgraded the stone on my engagement ring. We didn't talk for years. Then a couple years later, she sent me a card when I was pregnant with my first baby.

We are still friends. I just have to bite my tongue regarding certain things with her. It sucks at times but it works I've come to realize.
 
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#13
Baby V said:
A long time ago, we had a break in our relationship when she hung up on me when I told her how my DH upgraded the stone on my engagement ring.
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That's a weird kind of response, instead of complimenting how nice your DH is or how lucky you are. But in any case, that is a long time friend of yours and you should not let these luxury habits spoil your friendship. Just avoid sharing the kind of happy news that might make her react negatively, and keep sharing the interests that you 2 have in common.
 
#14
Baby V I'm not good on beating about the bush so let me be direct: when it's time to upgrade your bags, it's also time for you to upgrade your (best)friends

Friends like Cavalier Girl, mrssparkles and others are the ones, like your birkin and kelly, you will love for life
 
#15
Virtually no one in my life even knows who or what Hermes is, they couldn't care less, and it's not a topic I'd bring up myself. I'd be the first one to admit that Hermes' prices can be seriously obnoxious, and a lot of the price is the marketing and mythology that they've successfully created, but I'd rather not defend myself on where I chose to spend my discretionary income.

My lips are zipped.
 
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